DISCLAIMER: Let me just start off by saying, I am in NO WAY trying to tell people what they can and cannot wear. What you wear is entirely your own choice. I am just sharing my personal story on why I chose to no longer wear yoga pants or leggings in public. 

For the past several months, I have been having a conviction weighing heavy on my heart. I tried ignoring it for as long as I could until one day a conversation came up amongst myself and a few others (both men and women). The conversation was about leggings and how when women wear them it creates a stronger attraction for a man to look at a woman’s body and may cause them to think lustful thoughts. God really changed my heart in the midst of that conversation and instead of ignoring my convictions, I figured it was time I start listening to them and take action.

I went home later that day and shared the convictions I was having with my husband. Was it possible my wearing leggings could cause a man, other than my husband, to think lustfully about my body? I asked my husband his thoughts on the matter when he got home. I appreciated his honesty when he told me, “yeah, when I walk into a place and there are women wearing yoga pants everywhere, it’s hard to not look. I try not to, but it’s not easy.”

I instantly felt conviction come over me even stronger. Not that I wasn’t feeling it earlier, or else I wouldn’t have thought twice about the conversation, but after talking to Dale, it hit me a lot harder. If it is difficult for my husband who loves, honors, and respects me to keep his eyes focused ahead, then how much more difficult could it be for a man that may not have the same self-control? Sure, if a man wants to look, they are going to look, but why entice them? Is it possible that the thin, form-fitting yoga pants or leggings could make a married (or single) man look at a woman in a way he should only look at his wife?

And at that moment, I made a personal vow to myself and to my husband. I will no longer wear thin, form-fitting yoga pants or leggings in public. The only time I feel (for myself) it is acceptable to wear them, is if I am in the comfort of my own home or if I am wearing a shirt long enough to cover my rear end. I also want to set the best example of how to dress for my daughter. I want her to know, her value is not in the way her body looks or how she dresses, but in the character and personality God has given her. I have been following the vow I made to myself for the past couple of weeks  now and though it may be difficult to find an outfit at times, my conscience is clear and I feel I am honoring God and my husband in the way I dress.

Read My Response To This Post HERE.

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944 comments on “Why I Chose To No Longer Wear Leggings”

  1. I understand what you’re saying… and we all have to feel comfortable with what we wear… I mean I only wear my skinny jeans with a long shirt… but I also think that people are just going to look… you’re a good looking woman and probably no matter what you wear it’s going to make men think you’re attractive unless you purposefully try to make yourself look bad… and I think worrying so much about whether or not some guy will check you out is a bad mind set to be in… a guy who is gonna do wrong will do wrong no matter what a girl is wearing… I shouldn’t have to work my wardrobe around how others might see it… it’s better to go out knowing you look your best and with the confidence to know that if some guy stepped out of line you’d quickly put them back in their place… rather than fearing you might be inducing lustful thoughts… because I know for a fact I’ve gone out looking horrible… and I mean baggy jeans and t-shirt and definitely didn’t fix myself up and I’ve still had guys making very inappropriate comments… there’s no stopping it… so I’d rather know I look my best and everyone else will just have to figure it out for themselves…

  2. “Was it possible my wearing leggings could cause a man, other than my husband, to think lustfully?”

    Welcome to biology, oh and yoga pants. Did it really take you that much soul searching to realize that guys like girls in tight pants?

    And you’re “honoring God” because you don’t wear leggings anymore? I’m sure he appreciates the gesture.

  3. One of the (many) unfortunate aspects of modern day Christianity is that women are discouraged from celebrating their sexuality. Can I have an amazing ass and also be close to God? Yes, I can. Can I show said amazing ass off in a pair of yoga pants or leggings without feeling guilty for the choices other people make to look at it? Yes, I can. Do I have to get to the gym at 3 am to do my squats or run on the treadmill, ensure I’m alone, so that later in the day men nearby are not tempted to look at me? No, I do not. Some would say it’s natural for men to “lust”. This sinful desire they feel might actually be the reason the earth is still populated. It might be why you have amazing sex with your husband. It could even be proven science. I don’t know. Google it.

    On that note, why are men constantly shamed into feeling like broken jerks for not being able to control something they were wired to do? (procreation)There’s a difference between being disrespectful and being a dude.
    Good on ya, I guess. Maybe ask a few more questions here and there and don’t accept so close mindedly everything the church has to say. They’re (sit down, this may come as a shock to you) not always right!

  4. I completely agree with you on this. I have had more men say terrible things to me and corner me with a ring on my finger and sweats on from top to bottom. I believe Veronica you have a right to your best opinion because thankful to God we have the freedom to do so. But I have to ask you what’s the difference in leggings and wearing a skirt or makeup or cleaning yourself up at all. Won’t that attack men’s unwanted attention as well? I am faithful to my amazing husband and God fearing! And I try to look nice for him and only his eyes. But there are perverts out there and they get attracted to the weirdest and grossest things. That’s between them anad God. How I portray myself is between me and God. I like girly things and I have size F breasts but I do not show them to anyone except my husband I don’t even like cleavage. Anywho. Just saying :)) if your doing the tight fitting thing because of men you may have to rethink all of it. Because bottom line men get turned on just by you having nice hair sometimes.

    Xoxo God bless you all!

  5. I have been wrestling the same inner thoughts… I’ve always liked to dress stylish and cute just because I enjoy it not to try to win a man’s affection, but I’ve realized as I grow older and come to understand the MAN that they think very differently than us! I’ve been trying to remind myself of this too! Good Stuff Girlie!:)

  6. Ladies who have replied to this post saying it’s the mans problem if he is looking…..if you or I call ourselves Christians then we have a responsibility to know Gods word and what it says. On this matter, we should remind ourselves what the bible has to say about modesty. Ladies we ARE responsible to dress modestly as not to make our brothers stumble. This doesn’t give them a free pass to look or lust, they too have to be responsible and do as the bible tells them. So yes, we should think about what we are wearing before we walk out the door in the morning. Ask yourself, does this glorify God? Will I be tempting my brother in Christ to stumble? If so then change! If God has granted you with an amazing body that’s wonderful. Does it give us the right to “show it off”? Absolutely not!! So again, I urge you to seek out what the word of God says about these things. This has nothing to do with what “the church” says. Bottom line is what does the bible say. That is the only guideline we should be using!

  7. I would just like to say that jeans are also form fitting. I think it’s a struggle to find clothing (pants) that isn’t form fitting.

  8. I will say this from my perspective as a young and single man. What you wear will cause others to view you in a certain way. It doesn’t just apply to women, If your in the work environment you should look professional and like you fit whatever role it is you fill for your daily job. You wish to say that you shouldn’t have to model your wardrobe according to how others will perceive you but I honestly see that as a cop out of sorts. In all honesty that is an excuse i hear from people who know exactly what they are doing is likely to cause and then instead of being responsible for their actions they place the blame onto someone else

    You wish to because of what you wear to then place the blame on the men at this point for their thoughts. While you are correct that individuals who will (and i wont narrow it down to just men, women are just as likely as men to do the wrong thing) do wrong will do wrong regardless. But why make it any easier mentally? Why is modesty such an issue now? To be frank yoga pants and Leggings were not at all designed for comfort as their primary use. Even actual exercise in them is not what the initial idea for them are. They are designed to draw attention to the wearer. because there is an aspect to clothes that elicit the imagination it becomes worse when there is an attractive woman wearing those garments. Those pants and leggings do cover and don’t show any skin, yet they are also so formfitting as to you might as well be wearing nothing. Both of those aspects combined into one are a powerful magnet for attention.

    there are still many options for looking your best and still being comfortable while being modest. However many clothes for women are specifically designed to bring about sexual attention, and for the young women one can look cute without the sexy. in Correnthians, Paul writes that you are just as much at fault for causing someone to sin as they are if you do something that can cause them to stumble from the temptation. If you unknowingly do something that causes offense to someone then you have sinned, If you knowingly in this case wear something that will cause others to fall to the temptation of lust then you have sinned. (and remember even Jesus said that a married man lusting after another woman has committed Adultry just by having that thought)

    One should ask themselves, just because something is comfortable to wear is it the best idea to wear it? Does what you wear bring glory to God? Does one really wish to sin because they walked out into public wearing something that has been shown to draw unwanted attention? I know many people have never though this way before, but it truly is a relevant thing. And as minor as a thing like wearing this or that, I would suggest one read Correnthians. It really has a powerful message about what your actions are capable of, even if in Paul’s letter is was referring to one of the Apostles eating what was sacrificed to another god.

  9. I would suggest to you to read up on Corrinthians, I explained from my viewpoint of a young man and also my interpretation of Paul’s letters in a previous post. so I will not do the same here, but Corrinthians does have a very powerful message for just how responsible you are for your actions and how it might affect those around you.

  10. My goodness, thank you SO much for speaking up on that topic. I’m so glad there are still women with views like yours (and I happen to totally share them). I’m not married (hopefully just yet), but it’s been a while since a had the realization, almost a physical feeling that there’s something wrong about wearing big clivages, short skirts/shorts, tight pants, bikinis, you name it. My eyes may go round every time my mom or even grandmom disagree with my clothing choices and suggest I should wear something more revealing to “show what I’ve got”. But I’m not going to change the way I dress, because I want to honor God, myself, my future husband, and someone else’s men and their women. Thanks a lot once again for sharing your thoughts. It’s important to discuss topics like that!
    P.S. Your middle name is Irene! It’s an English-speaking world’s version of my own name – Irina. Another pleasant thing to learn from your blog 🙂 Much love and peace to you and your beautiful family!

  11. Or you know, we could all just wear giant bags over our bodies with only
    our eyes exposed… that’ll stop men from committing sexual sin brought
    on by our evil tempting womanly figures! Oh wait…

  12. Disclaimer: I grew up in a Christian home….. And seeing this kind of right wing christian jargon now makes me embarrassed. These people aren’t far off from going in the direction of radical islam with the kind of shame that gets projected onto “their” women, and furthermore STILL making women feel like they are responsible for mens sexual thoughts (lust), actions, etc.

  13. Amen, sister! As a mom to 4 grown sons, I applaud your courage to take a stand and follow what the Lord is telling you. Awesome blog post – and I found it because my SON posted it on Facebook! Blessings. 🙂

  14. If we think in this perspective, then we should all wear one plain common color and no design etc. No makeup what so ever and do nothing with ourselves except bathe. I see what you are saying and completely agree in some aspects. But if you’re going to dress modestly yet wear makeup and dress up wouldn’t that also attract the opposite sex? Isn’t that how we attracted our spouse? I believe in keeping my husband’s mind heart body and soul happy with me and I will dress nice for him and we happen to go out I like to look nice. I do not put myself on display. But dressing nice in any sense will attract attention. So now in the modern day age. You cannot worry about it as much. Some people just likte to look nice and love fashion. Although I can discourage showing off body parts to anyone whom isn’t your spouse. I just think if you’re going to say leggings lol you might as well take any and all things that will attract anyone. You cannot have it one way and not the other it would make you a hipocrate would it not? Also might as well give up shorts and dress with cloth over the face? Men and women get turned out by weird things and no matter what you do will prevent that. But most women whom want to give up certain things will not give up all the things that should come with it. Bottom line is if you give up one thing why aren’t you giving it all up??

  15. One thing that is considered professional in one persons eyes is “sexy” in another persons. Some women find men in suits sexy. So does that mean men shouldn’t wear suits?

  16. And when a muslim girl choose to wear hijab because she doesnt want men to look at her lustfully, she’s an idiot. Double standard in our life.

  17. Great article. As a young adolescent single male, it is hard to ignore women who dress immodestly…if that’s a word. However, I’ve found (from first impressions) that a woman is most attractive when they dress modest. I do not find myself lusting over their body. By saying this, I am not blaming, pointing fingers, or calling women who dress opposite sinners, I think men need to take a hit for their actions as well. As a man who tries his best to stay on the straight and narrow, I want to say thank you to the ladies who do their best to dress modestly, I for one do not take that for granted.
    A question for the ladies:
    Is a man wearing skinny jeans immodest? Or is it hard to not look? I bought two pairs for $15 the other day and never considered this question. $7 a pair was hard to pass up :S. I want to look out for my sisters in Christ as well. And frankly, everyone else I suppose.

  18. So do you want to celebrate you sexuality publicly? Just think: how would you feel if your husband would get horny when seeing your Christian friend’s ass in leggings? (you can apply this to some clothing pieces, not just leggings). I’m smoking hot. And because I know that I don’t need to show off my ass or boobs to the whole street and neighborhood to feel sexy, nor to my friend’s husbands. Do you really care for men in your life enough not to be their temptation? Or not – you just want to celebrate your sexuality no matter what?

  19. I’m not trying to blame the men… but lets take it to the extreme… there’s that belief that wearing a short skirt will make you more likely to be raped… when in actuality the guy will rape a girl regardless of what’s she’s wearing… bad guys will do bad things no matter what… and good guys aren’t going to swayed because of what someone is wearing… but also it’s human nature to look… I mean I’m happily married, I don’t want anyone but my husband, but if I see a hot guy it’s gonna register… I might even pause to take a second look… but then again when I walk away that man is forgotten… it’s bad to sit there and lust over it… but what I was trying to say is that people will look…I mean me over here think there’s nothing hotter than a guy in a 3 piece
    suit… what’s more dressed up and conservative than that? but I would
    be checking that guy out like there’s no tomorrow… I could look absolutely professional in a pant suit and they’ll probably be some guy wanting to check me out… when I was in the military wearing those awful military uniforms that look good on no girl and was covered in grease and oil and unknown substances from being a mechanic I would still get hit on… so now that I can dress up and look my best I’m not gonna let a few catcalls deter me… because there is no stopping that…

    and I agree with you… I think it’s stupid for a girl to wear a low cut shirt and then get mad if someone looks at their chest… but I’m not saying go out and show off your goodies… I’m saying wear what you like and makes you feel pretty and not feel compelled to hide because a few men can’t control themselves…

  20. So you don’t wear what you want to wear because you worry what other men will think of it? I understand setting a good example for your daughter, but if you really want to do that, shouldn’t you show her that no matter what you do, people will judge. Therefore, you should just continue to be yourself … ? Who cares if it’s hard for men to look away, if they have an inch of respect they would know not to stare. It’s the 21st century, we should be able to wear what we want to wear.

  21. I think that there is a difference between being attractive and presentable and dressing sexually. We can justify the way we dress however we want but the truth is you can dress confidently, stylishly, and attractively without having to accentuate areas that create desire. Yes, there are people out there that will find ways to sexualize everything and there is nothing we can do about that but that does not mean that we shuck all responsibility. Please, dress in a way that makes you feel confident and happy but if people are making you feel uncomfortable or you are often receiving unsolicited cat calls then just re-examine. It isn’t our fault if men lust after us but there are steps we can make to present ourselves as women to discourage this. Maybe my opinion isn’t the best because I have been assaulted in the past but that doesn’t chance the fact that I want to dress nice, I just toned down the manner in which I dressed and it has brought me comfort. It’s just food for thought ,really.

  22. I disagree completely with the position you have taken concerning this issue. While yes, modesty is something that women (AND men) should observe, the reasoning is far beyond that of “controlling” the perverted thoughts of the poor, helpless, incapable men that surround us. (Really though, why are men portrayed as weak??) Modesty is about showing respect to our bodies. Because we are not our own. Our bodies are temples, and so we should treat them as such. THAT is the reason. Now, placing the blame on men is not the answer. Where is your sense of civility, of respect towards men?? Men, believe it or not, can indeed control their own thoughts; just as us women can keep from wiping the drool from our faces as Ryan Gosling slips his shirt over his head. I, for one, will wear leggings whenever I choose, if I so choose to. Because if a man lusts after me, the blame is not on my head. Those are his thoughts, not mine. Rather, I choose not to wear leggings as pants because I respect my body enough to not parade around naked with a black fabric finish. So thank you for your remarks, but please step back and realize the shallow position which you have taken on this issue. Modesty is not about helping men. It’s about respecting ourselves as women.

  23. I tend to not shoot down individual comments because everyone’s feelings are important…but you’re statement about the design and primary use of leggings is not fair or accurate. I’m assuming you were on the design team of the first ever legging to make such a qualified statement about their purpose?

  24. Not sure where I stand on the discussion…still trying to figure out the modesty discussion but this I do find funny. A friend posted this link on Facebook stating adamantly their support of the author. hmmm…I’ve noticed that friend a lot of times likes to wear an attractive loose fitting shirt that drapes low on the chest..but will then wear a tight white under shirt to be “modest” I’ve always wondered if she ever noticed how that tight undershirt accentuate her breasts….I’ve noticed and I don’t even find her attractive…yet I’ve noticed these things. Are leggings worse than that? I actually think this person wears modest clothes but yet I’ve still seen what I’ve seen. Will you now argue that the difference is that the one that wears leggings are intending to be provocative and want people to look while my friend just wears normal clothes that just happen to sometimes, unintentionally be provocative? Based on most arguments on this comment section you could argue that she knows “exactly what she’s doing” and pretending that her clothes aren’t immodest. My point in this is not to try and figure out what is modest and what isn’t but is to make sure that people aren’t making others feel less of a daughter of God because you believe something they don’t…which seems to be worse than the actual immodest dress. One other funny thought for all you woman out there to consider as you support this post as vigorously as you have. You mention how grateful you are for it and how you agree with it and thank her for it…well as a man that finds yoga pants terribly attractive…especially on my wife…and I’ll admit when I see them on a attractive woman at the store I look…you know what else I find hot? Yoga pants with a long shirt covering the butt…let’s you imagine what that butt my look like. So many possibilities to consider. So so much for walking the straight and narrow and that personal vow to rid the world of your sexual perversions of wearing yoga pants in public except for “if I am wearing a shirt long enough to cover my hiney.” My point being where to draw the line? You stop wearing leggings to protect the innocence of yourself and the men of the world but stopped short if they are covered by a shirt? But I am telling you men still find that hot! Did you go far enough? are you still being immodest? Did you do your part now and it is really now solely my obligation as a man to step up and not find that hot? Just saying it’s not such an easy thing to say leggings are immodest and shouldn’t be worn. I just find it funny during modesty discussion what is called immodest and what isn’t. So kudos to the author for trying, I do think you have good intentions but by being willing to wear leggings with a shirt covering…well you kind of shot yourself in foot from my perspective. But baby steps right? Maybe you should include a picture of yourself in the leggings with the long shirt? then we can judge for ourselves!

  25. I completely agree and find other’s who are fighting this or reading between lines or making it more complicated than it is so annoying. What we wear matters. We live in a day when modesty isn’t barely considered anymore and almost anything goes. I join you in not wearing leggings, yoga pants, and I won’t be wearing short skirts or any other revealing clothing in public either! Thanks for the article!

  26. great opinion of yours that not so many people consider this as important.

    congrats veronica for writing this out 😉

    well, how about wearing bikini? it must be super duper hot, sexy and lustful to the eyes of not only to the evil men, but also to everyone because the attire too exposing (expose the beauty skin of women, size of boobs, how large is the booty etc) and seek attention. i wonder, does the husband not even jealous when other people stare at his wife’s big boobs and booty?

    and i think there are so many hidden reasons why we should cover ourselves up in public though.

    just wear the tight attire, the exposing ones and be super hot model to our only lovely husband at home. he is the one who supposed to see the beauty of his wife. because he paid for that. he deserves to see everything on her wife.

    others just get to see the beauty of the wife freely. they dont even pay for that.

    it is all about modesty. and so many reasons on why we should cover our skin, big boobs and etc in public. i need to find more reasons behind this. well anyway, happy new year!

  27. I can’t handle this article. Everything about it is just insane!!!!
    Leggings/yoga pants are not modest? Even at the gym? Or is that different? You know men are there as well. Maybe I should wear long skirts and long shirts when I work out? I mean.. When is it ok to wear comfortable clothes? Or is it never? Is it ok you wear yoga pants when I take my yoga class even though men are there and might look at my ass?Or will I not be honoring God then either?
    What is acceptable clothing to wear when men might see me? Long skirts? Baggy sweathshirts? Jeans show your ass as well, you know that right?
    Ok.. Now what about the beach? Is it ok to wear bathing suits? There are always men at the beach too.
    I’m a 40 year old woman ,wife and mother . I’ve never , not once, thought that men might look at my ass when I’m out and about in my yoga pants.
    I’m also a Christian, and pretty sure I’m still honoring God when I’m wearing my yoga pants, skinny jeans,bathing suit ,shorts. I honor God with what’s in my heart. I honor God but not judging people by the way they look, or what they wear. This is why I’m sometimes embarrassed to be a Christian.
    One more thing.. As a mother to a daughter myself. I’ve raised her to be proud to be a woman. To love and value her self and her body. I’ve told her to not care what others think of her. I’ve raised her not to judge others. I’ve told her to love Jesus.. Love others . I’ve also raised her to wear your yoga pants and wear them
    With pride!!

  28. My, my, aren’t you pious and holy. You should give up pants entirely, and just wear 10 yards of fabric wrapped around you, so that your body is completely invisible to any man but your husband. In fact, you should cover your face, too. Guess what, though, no matter what you wear, men are going to have lustful UNGODLY thoughts ( GASSSSSP!). And you know what? So what. That’s their problem.

  29. Leggings, jeans, skirts, dresses, if a man is going to look, he’s going to look. I wore leggings all through my pregnancy, and I can’t count the amount of times I was told how nice my ass was. PREGNANT. And its not just the men. Many a time have I looked at a girls ass, in jeans especially, if it looked nice. Unless you are wearing a potato sack, someone, somewhere is going to look at you. Unless they are blind.

  30. It seems to me you are quite full of yourself to assume men would be staring at you and unable to control their list because of your leggings. Wsnt to know why I wear them? Because I have sensory issues and unlike jeans I don’t feel like crawling out oft skin all day with them on. I don’t see them as sexual at all. They are dark black and I wear them with long shirts. If anyone is staring at me, my first assumption is that they are looking at how adorable my kids are, not how great my butt looks. Get over yourself.

  31. Honey, you can wear a potato sack and men will still lust. People need to learn (preferably from a young age) to respect personal boundaries. Casting off good, comfortable attire with the idea “not to temp” a person is a no win situation and you will only end up in clothes that chaffe.

  32. Veronica,thank you for writing this with so much love. I feel so encouraged and challenged, in a wonderful way. I’ve gone back and forth with the leggings thing. Since being married 5 months ago, my interpretation of Godly modesty has taken me to place of prayer. I believe God cares and will show us, as women, how to cloth ourselves. Not just spiritually but the Holy Spirit DOES nudge my heart now when I consider certain articles of clothing. I don’t think you write this with worry or fear, I think you write this from a place of wisdom. God bless!

  33. Guys are going to sexualize women no matter what we wear. Instead of telling women to wear something else, tell guys to stop over-sexualizing women.
    If you’re going to stop wearing leggings, stop wearing skinny jeans too because they are just about as form fitting as leggings. Oh and while you’re at it, stop wearing shorts too because legs are too distracting. Oh, and tank tops? Forget them too. Guys could look at your bare shoulders the wrong way too.
    Women shouldn’t have to dress a certain way in the fear that men will lust after them.

  34. Just want to share my thoughts on this..

    As I read the comments and the article I reflected on how the church isn’t perfect. It isn’t going to be perfect. It is made of people and people are not going to be perfect. The church has taught things for so long, years ago modesty was a list of rules. The “dress code” was a solution to a problem that has become tradition over the years. Sexuality wasn’t talked about. It was just these are the rules and we don’t ask questions. We are living in a century were we don’t keep quiet. We are growing a generation of young people to have a voice and to speak for what they believe in. Social media, the internet and blogging have been great outlets for people to voice their beliefs, just as we all have done here. That is great!

    However, while the world is growing in sexuality and the fashion trends as a whole are moving away from things that cover to things that show more skin, tighter fitting things it is time we start talking. Not just talking but explain what it means to truly be modest. Men to can be modest, their is two sides to the coin. Allow me to continue to explain.

    As I believe the blogger realized that her actions, type of dress, whether she wants to think that it does has consequences. Her heart is to help her brother not to stumble. I think the first step to respecting a man and how he was designed, is to realize that he is aroused visually. Women, we have power with what we wear. Truth is some clothes “show off” more of the body than others. We are not responsible for a mans thoughts, urges and feelings. However, our actions can lead to those thoughts. It is important to teach young ladies how a man’s mind works, how their sexual drive works. Also, it is also important to teach our sons how a woman’s sexual drive works. I don’t know how many of my friends and I have had that conversation “I think he likes me” well has he done this? Oh my word today he totally touched my arm! He has to like me! Or he winked at me, my heart melted!! Just as some girls use their bodies to manipulate men, guys use the emotions of girls to get them to do what they want. Ladies can lust over an emotional connection with a man, just as much as he can lust over a girl in yoga pants.

    If us women are going to have to leave the yoga pants at home than I think men need to learn about what makes our sex drive goes up. Being in my later 20’s now, married but I still have a handful of single friends. So many of them are consumed by the idea of getting married, a good love story and just finding love. That when a guy so much as says “It was good to see you at church tonight” that it is taken 10 steps a head of what that really meant.

    Either side of the coin, men need to control their urges and women need to get emotions in check. Here is the truth though. We are human, we are going to struggle. God intended sex to be good, but only within the realms of marriage. It is one of the hardest sins to fight because it isn’t always bad. It is never okay to murder. As a church it is our responsibility to help our brothers and our sisters. To support, help them in their walk with God. For far to long it has gone one sided. The women are supposed to carry the weight of the mans sexual arrousal with no return. I have to cover my tushy but he still gets to come over to me and “sweet talk me” with no desire to commit to a relationship? It needs to be taught both ways. Ladies, we have also fallen on the short stick of not supporting each other. We are so quick to get giddy at the simplest things a man does. We pass the blame off to well thats just how girls are. It isn’t an excuse. We have to resit our sexual temptations just as much as men do. We can’t keep playing like a man is the only one with a sex drive around here! I have heard, read, that a couple are more likely to have sex after a romantic movie. Why? Because the women heart is all warm and fuzzy and she is longing for that intimacy with a mate.

    To me a modest man respects his sister. His heart desire for her to long for God and not after the words he speaks to her. A modest man tries to encourage a women in her walk with God. He respects her emotions and doesn’t say or do things that may cause her to thing that he is interested when he isn’t.

    As Christian’s and the church, I think we should be better about extending grace, seeing a people for where they are and willing to help them up. The reality is that porn in the church is just as popular as it out the real world. Guys really struggle visually. Though I will not be held accountable for their thoughts on judgement day, as a member of the church I do have a responsibility to help my brothers and sister grow in Christ. If I am causing my brother to stumble I need to be cautions of my actions. Whether that is with how I dress or being flirty or whatever else. For so long I think it has been one sided, the gentlemen need to learn to understand how emotional sensitive we are. That the little text, comments and hugs go a long way with us. If you don’t intend to commit than please do not come and give us a hug ever Sunday or give us that cute flashy smile. It causes us to lust after them the same way if I was wearing a low cut top.

    Another thing is, not showing off the lady parts doesn’t mean you won’t be found attractive. Fact is some clothes just show off more than others. Doesn’t mean we need to wear long loose skirts but it doesn’t mean we need to wear tight jeans and leggings that are thin and show everything. They are comfortable because it feels like we don’t have anything on! (least I think so). No it doesn’t mean we should ever wear a bathing suit. But there is a difference in a string bikini that wedges between booty checks and one that covers the booty and supports the boobs. There is a middle ground between dressing like a nun and skin tight pants (jeans,leggings), short skirts and low cut tops. Not all thats fashionable reveals everything. In fact, the famous show “What Not to Wear,” I am pretty sure that when people came in wearing that it all hit the trash can. Leggings started, I thought, to be worn under a dress or a tunic. Than, over time have developed into being worn just as pants. I have always thought them to be a fashion accessory not a staple piece. I think the point with clothing is to realize when something is appropriate or not. If you are at the beach yes a baithing suite is what you wear. At the gym, you need stretchy pants to do your work out.

    I guess my bottom line is this, if we are going to teach young ladies to think about how that outfit will cause a gentleman to stumble, we need to teach young gentleman to think about what they say to the ladies. It is basic cause and affect. You wear that it could cause John to think this because of this. You say this to Jane and it can cause her to think this because of this. It needs to be taught not just made as a rule or tradition.

    Veronica thank you for your post. I really could see your heart and respect for the gentleman in your church. I believe your desire to be mindful of fashion is out of love for those who struggle. I think it is a wonderful example for your daughter. You are teaching her to think about others, aside from her self. To put other needs before them. To me, choosing not to dress that way is a way to extend grace to a gentleman and say I respect you enough to not try and tempt you. Bravo to you.

  35. Perhaps you should read what I was posting. You cannot claim that women do not know the effect that leggings and yoga pants have. I refuse the argument of “because their comfortable” because every women I have talked to always has an abashed look on their face when I do ask that question.

    And just to curb that statement that will come up. I am exceptionally respectful when I ask and do so out of curiosity to learn the mentality of the individual.

    With that being said not a single woman has not displayed some form of an abashed attitude. They are completely aware of what their choice of clothes is doing/insinuating. This is a con joys action on their part and there for it is a sin because they contiously choose to wear it which provoked the observer to lust. On top of this you would be surprised to find out how how many women do not wear undergarments with those. This further goes to supporting my point. As I work in security, I have to be observant of my surroundings and is there for impossible for me to not notice this and I find it exceptionally difficult to not be distracted. And as someone who does struggle with a sex addiction this is as bad as a recovering alcoholic stepping into a room that has had top line brandy fumigating it.

    That being said, the man is also not off the hook for succumbing to the temptation so they are both guilty of the sin. This is a situation that is completely separate from something akin to say david and bethsheba. Or the victim of a rape, if one does not do something knowingly then they are innocent of sin but to knowingly do something like this is to sin.

  36. That all being said, it is the choice of the individual what they are going to do. We have free will after all.

  37. That’s a whole other discussion entirely. And has nothing to do with modesty per see, most reasons for the Muslim women wearing those specific barbs is not purely out of modesty but more because of the laws governing Islam and that they can, will, and are beaten, maimed and killed for going against those laws.

    So the opposition to that garb is not so much the argument about modesty but about the oppression that those items represent

  38. I am a Christian and take modesty pretty seriously around my house. My girls don’t wear bikinis, cut off shirts or too short of shorts. But I have to say this whole legging movement is taking things a bit too far. Everything is covered up. Most of the time people are wearing long or baggy shirts with them so all the really “sinful” bits are covered up. I’m sorry but all of these post lately are sounding a bit too judgmental in my book. And this is coming from an extremely conservative Christian. A Christian whose religion is very serious on it’s views about modesty. I’m pretty sure the bible says somewhere “Judge not lest ye be judged”.

  39. That’s so thoughtful! (About skinny jeans). 🙂 Thanks for thinking of us! Men’s skinny jeans are more like women’s regular jeans (close fitting, but not skin tight). So no, those don’t bug me. Sometimes shirtless is a little hard not to stare at, but at least for me, that’s all a guy could do to help me not think about him in that way. 🙂

  40. I think God appreciates people’s hearts when they are trying to honor Him. He didn’t say exactly what modesty is, which kind of leaves it open for people,to come have a conversation with Him about it and find out what is best for them individually to do. I love that You have done that! I have been on the same journey and figured out that for me, modesty is not wearing form-fitting clothes in public nor low tops or short shorts. Simple. My 4th grade daughter is adorable trying to copy me. 🙂 She decided herself she’s not comfortable in these things because “it feels like I’m in my underwear.” She also calls leggings “tights” and wonders allowed why “someone would want to wear tights without a dress.” Hehe I came to these conclusions after a lot of prayer and thinking about what I would want if I were very visually stimulated by the opposite sex. Just seems thoughtful to be caring to my brothers in that way. But at home alone with just my husband, it’s another story. 🙂

  41. If this god wanted us to be covered, we wouldn’t be born naked!
    Take pride in your body, love it dress it and show it as you please.
    Don’t shame it. And don’t let anyone or anygod make you feel shame over it.
    leggings are the best and my booty loves them.

  42. Regardless of the debatable effect leggings and yoga pants have on people, they’re honestly not classy in any way, shape, or form. That alone should be enough to keep everyone from wearing them.

  43. You’re just teaching your daughter that she cannot wear what she feels comfortable in because it will cause a man to potentially make her uncomfortable or even worse.. That’s teaching her that she’s in the wrong and that men can’t help it. This just further destroys the movement that feminists have been working at for decades!! WOMEN SHOULD BE COMFORTABLE IN THEIR BODIES AND WHATEVER THEY CHOOSE TO WEAR. You should be in control of your body, not the entire male population. I know you mean well, believe me. It’s just that your values are deeply rooted from generations of motherly wisdom, society’s norms,and the church- so much that you can’t see the harm you and millions of others with the same kind of posts are doing to the self-esteem and self-image of women and young girls EVERYWHERE. I don’t agree with this but I understand you mean more help than harm. I just wish that with a fanbase like yours you’d try to make a more conscientious difference in the female community.

  44. also I’d like to add it’s kind of ridiculous to bring God and being Holy into this argument. They are in no way connected and ultimately God is being used as a weapon that’s basically saying “you are going to Hell if you’re choosing to wear revealing clothes!!” No matter how hard you try and explain that’s not what you’re doing that is exactly the message for a young girl. I’d call that brainwashing to an extent but that’s just me yknow.

  45. Thank you!!! I have a totally new perspective now! I always felt a little iffy about wearing them and now I know. You are awesome!

  46. Brava! No matter what anyone else here says you KNOW that you’re doing what’s best for you. I’ve seen this argument again and again: someone speaks out for modesty and people jump onto that person’s viewpoint with the same tired arguments.

    You felt God’s spirit directing you to make a change. The discussion ends here. Who is greater than God? And who knows what’s best for His children? There isn’t any more room for discussion if this is what He led you to discover.

    Know that you aren’t alone in your desire to make the world less hyper-sexualized and more modest. Others stand with you. And as it says in the Bible: “Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.” (2 Kings 6:16, KJV)

  47. no they are completely connected. In Corinthians Paul wrote to the church about how Peter came and was seen eating food that was in a pagan temple that had been sacrificed to one of those gods.

    He goes on to state that the eating of food is not inherently a sin, and indeed food sacrificed to another god seeing as there are no other gods is also just food and nothing wrong with that. However where the sin cam is that should that action of eating that food sacrificed to another god cause a younger believer to stumble and fall into sin then you have commited a sin by eating that food. Simply because they were not strong enough to understand the fact that it is just food, their mind associated it with the original purpose that the food was a sacrificial offering to another god.

    The same wholly applies to this. YOU are in control of YOUR OWN body and your own mind. HOWEVER if you are a christian who does truly believe then you do know and acknowledge what certain articles of clothing can elicit in the mind of another person. We all make judgement on people within the first 5 seconds of seeing them and how they present themselves plays a massive role in that, so you in no way could ever claim that your attire does not affect how people precede you. Its why they have all those dressing article advice columns for job interviews. As an ADULT you know that people will judge you by how you carry and present yourself. and it is your responsibility to present yourself in the best light possible.

    To wear provocative clothing you actively have to put the clothes on and you know full well how you look when you do that, you cannot claim that you are not doing it to not get attention. and there fore because of this you commit a sin. We were all given free will to choose and take responsibility for our actions, how do you exercise yours?

  48. Actually, pretty sure most of us do wear them because they are comfortable, and no we’re not “abashed” about it. When I get dressed in the morning, my thought process is, ‘what is going to match, and what is going to be comfy.’ Not, ‘oh! Leggings! My ass looks great in those and I feel like drawing every man’s attention, and driving those sinful, lustful men crazy!’ Yeah, nope. Since when did all men become lustful pigs, and women the cause of all evil?

  49. No matter what women wear, someone will find a way to objectify them. It is not women’s job to control men’s thoughts– you’re perpetuating rape culture. It is about wearing what you’re comfortable in, and accepting that women have bodies, and those don’t need to be objectified or covered up or anything. Just let them be. Beautiful bodies are okay. Attraction isn’t a problem, men recognizing that a woman’s body is attractive isn’t a problem. Objectification– and putting the pressure on women to not let men objectify them– is what’s wrong.

  50. I don’t look at it as protecting from lustful looks. I look at it like – What is your purpose for walking around showing every crevice of your butt including crack, while it jiggles while you walk, AND showing every crevice of your labia? What purpose do you want everyone to see your crevices for? *I* will look at you when you walk around in skin tight thin leggings like that – I am not looking at you lustfully, I am looking at you like – why the heck are you showing all that? Did I miss a memo that it’s now classy to show these crevices? My husband came downstairs in a pair of running tights and I about fell over laughing. I could see the perfect outline of his man parts. While he was not going to wear them in public, I often have to ask why women want to show off the perfect outline of their parts? What real purpose does that serve? I don’t think you should stop wearing them because of “lust” or for any religious reasons but because what happened to just having some class? You know how ridiculous it is when a waitress takes our order at a decent restaurant and walks away and it looks like she’s wearing gym clothes? I would just think women would want to dress a bit more classier…. If men all started wearing leggings as a fashion trend, someone would shut that own real quick – Let’s face it.. no one but utter dirtballs want to see camel toe or moose knuckle.

  51. I was just talking about this with my friend/neighbor. I totally agree with everything you’ve said in your post. Thanks for putting it out there and standing up for what you believe. You’re fabulous for doing so!

  52. Perhaps the oversexualization of women and the ceasing the ad nauseum perpetuation of accountability deflection should be of a greater focus rather than reducing men to the sum total of carnal urges. What a woman wears or rather doesn’t wear should not be reason for men to marginalize women to what is tantamount to porn or sexual fodder. I’d love to hear a dialogue that addresses mens’ accountability for their thoughts and deeds and behaviors based entirely on the premise that they women are human beings who deserve to be treated as such and not objectified. That how a woman dresses isn’t somehow licence or a green light for men to behave and think in whatever way they feel is only “natural”.

  53. I can’t take anyone serious who won’t wear “form-fitting” yoga pants and blogs about it while the link’s picture is the author wearing “form-fitting” skinny jeans…. Logic doesn’t seem sound.

  54. If people really dont see whats wrong withvleggings then thats it no hope for my generation. Please God just hit the flood reset button already.

  55. You lost your credibility on the second line. Please learn the difference between your and you’re.

  56. I know, let’s just throw a sheet over all girls after mensis! There’s no rape in Saudi, right?

  57. I thought this was a joke at first. You cannot be serious. Well, I guess to be safe you had better go purchase some very large, shapeless clothing with high collars, long sleeves, huge skirts past your ankles, boots, and a hat. Because you never know what men, who apparently cannot control their “urges”, will lust after. I am sad for you and every woman who feels it is her fault that man looks at her. Wow. Just, wow.

  58. Wore only long dresses for a year and a half so I’ve been down the modesty road. I completely understand where your coming from. After much thought about it and being around and studying about why people choose different levels of modesty- I have to say I believe its better to take it day by day. Wear what you feel is appropriate for the situation. As far as the idea of protecting men’s lustful thoughts I have to disagree. If a man lusts after a woman that is his sin and entirely entirely his fault and he cannot blame that on the woman no matter what she is wearing. If a woman dresses indecently especially with the intention of getting men to look at her lustfully that is her sin. We are not responsible for other peoples thoughts in public. I Know the bible talks about not causing your brother to stumble. So if you knew someone specifically couldnt stop from bad thoughts when he sees a woman in yoga pants then you shouldn’t knowingly wear them around him out of love not because its wrong for you to wear them. A woman has a body ,like a man does. Private parts shouldnt be shown on either one because nakedness should be covered up. Women shouldn’t feel ashamed of their bodies. I would say just don’t dress with the intent to show off or get looked at and cover up the private parts and that’s all your responsible for.

  59. I’m commenting on the aspect of blaming the temptation for your sinful reaction to it. Men are still called to be godly and not lust after a woman hes not married to no matter what she’s got on. I feel like in this aspect people are giving men an out on some thing they need to be held accountable for. And women are responsible for dressing decently. They are two separate things. I’m not saying I agree or disagree with the leggings.

  60. Sorry, that you point out a completely simple mistake to make shows that you are rather shallow in your views. If all it takes is a simple grammatical error to dissuade you from something then I would ostensibly have to say you have other issues.

    Sorry, that you feel you have to put someone down just because of a common grammatical error, one i am quite sure you have made on any number of occasions as you would be incapable to always catch mistakes such as this that you would make. Now next comment you make try to stay on topic here rather than resorting to ad hominem.

  61. I wear yoga pants to the gym, not to attract men or show off anything I have. I do it bc they are COMFORTABLE, they stay in place while working out, and they cover my skin. Baggy running shorts/pants have always chaffed me and too baggy clothing get in my way, especially with my free weights. Yoga pants were made for yoga, hence the name, go figure. You need form fitting clothes so not to get tangled in baggy clothes while switching poses. I do not wear leggings so I have no thoughts on those and I do not wear my yoga pants besides to the gym (not even at home).

    If you really have an issue with yoga pants/leggings attracting attention b/c they are form fitting, then you better throw out wearing jeans too. Otherwise you are being hypocritical. Jeans show just as much “behind” and thighs that yoga pants do. Just because there might be a pocket for 1 extra partial layer it does not take away the shape of what’s there.

  62. I think that saying a woman wearing leggings is inticing to a man to look is ridiculous! I understand respecting your body but going on record to say why intice men is just putting is back to the days before women’s rights. Why should I change what I like for the sake of men? A man should have enough respect for his wife and other women to not look. Its a style and none of anyone’s business what I want to wear.

  63. You wrote that you want your daughter to know her worth is not in the clothes she wears or how she looks, which is absolutely true but I can’t help but feel that when you STOP dressing a certain way because you think men will look at you – you are still being objectified. You are still an object but now you’re an object in baggy clothes.
    Also the idea that what women wear makes men have lustful thoughts = rape culture.

    I don’t wear leggings or yoga pants because I’m a lazy slob and don’t really do exercise. But I WOULD wear them to do exercise because tighter clothes are better for that – try cycling in baggy clothes, it’s not easy. My husband wears tight legging things for cycling so why shouldn’t you or I because we are women? I believe modesty is often about appropriateness and wearing leggings for sports and exercise is appropriate.
    Some men are turned on simply by the fact that a girl is working out because some guys are into that, it doesn’t matter what she’s wearing. Some men are turned on by a girl in a fabulous dress that covers all her assets but still makes her look beautiful. Should we stop wearing anything nice, tailored, fitted, well designed because of what men might think?
    If everyone started dressing like a slob or in garbage bags – men would still want to bang women.

  64. I fully respect the author’s opinions as a woman and human being, however, that said, I disagree with them whole-heartedly. Thought processes like these put the burden of mutual respect and decency completely on women and are a big reason why female rape victims or victims of abuse believe that it is their fault that they were raped or mistreated. These opinions are damaging and stunting to young women, girls and others and breed unnecessary guilt. There is a distinct difference between actively trying to seduce someone who does not want to be seduced and wearing attractive or even sexy clothing that makes you feel comfortable or happy.

  65. Just stop. You are a jerk, and are really, really giving Christians a bad name. Everything you have said, every argument you have made, is YOUR interpretation . One I couldn’t disagree with more.
    To say that when I wear yoga pants I am commuting a sin.. Is disgusting. Wrong. Wrong.
    Judgmental jerk.

  66. Oh, I am so glad to know someone else feels this way! If you’re wearing yoga pants to the gym to work out in, fine, that’s what they were made for. Otherwise, cover your butt! You might as well run around naked! And you can use whatever excuse suits you better that day, the fact remains that leggings are NOT pants.

  67. Rebuttal. Covering up to curtail a guy’s thoughts is, well, an exercise in TOTAL futility! What are you going to tell your hubby when he (or some guy) tells you that your hair turns him on? Or the shape of your neck? Or your toes when you wear flip flops? Wear a burqa! Except those women get raped, too, or have sex and make babies… Men get turned on by EVERYTHING all day long. Dress tastefully because YOU are communicating to the world who you are. But that hardly starts and stops with leggings. http://bit.ly/1xq4Jry

  68. I do think women need to dress in a way that is most beautiful and exemplifies them as WHOLE people, not just bodies.

    However, the regulating of such needs to be a personal and spiritual issue. By writing on a blog, you have indeed made your choice public.

    I know you (the author) are stating your own viewpoint and say that any restrictions are only on yourself. However, by writing publicly about it (“look at me and what I choose to do!”) you could be thought to be lending implicit condemnation on anyone who does not do as you do.

    Why not just make your decision and keep it to yourself, God and your family?

    Also, consider that each of us is responsible and accountable to God.

    This includes women. This includes men.

    Men are accountable…no matter how much smut gets thrown at them for “making a covenant with their eyes not to look at a woman lustfully.”

    Women are accountable for “dressing modestly” and letting their “adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious is God’s sight.”

    Consider Islam, where women are covered from head to toe, supposedly to avert tempting men. Yet some Islamic men still behave in the same deplorable, objectifying way towards women as do men in democratic countries where a lot of flesh is exposed.

    Which makes Our Lord’s point all the more clear: “there is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile.” Mark 7

    The condition of our hearts is most important.

    Let people come to that decision through Scripture and a personal relationship with Christ.

  69. I just want to say how much I admire you following your heart and agreeing on a decision with your husband. I do the same thing.

    When I tried to dress super modest (like Michelle Duggar to give you a mental picture), I felt trapped in a box of legalism. Then I met my (future) husband a few years later. By that time I started to pray and read the Bible on my own. That is when God began to reveal his freedom to me. Now whenever I put something on I ask my husband for verification (like you do) and search my heart. If I feel confident in what I am wearing and my husband gives me his thumbs up, I walk out the door. Sometimes this is jeggings. Sometimes it is a lower cut top. My husband has told me before he loves it when I feel sexy and confident. And that is why I married him 😀

  70. I had this talk with some guys at a camp I worked at. The female counselors were wearing those super short nike shorts, and the Camp director had told them that they were inappropriate to wear while they were with the kids (7-14 year olds… and they were too short). So, the young ladies threw on calf length leggings in neon colors under their shorts (which to me, defeats the purpose of wearing shorts….?). I asked the guys if that made a difference, and they laughed and explained that changing the curves of your body to hot pink did absolutely nothing to enhance modesty.

    To each their own. I wear yoga pants in the gym and on the way to and from it, but after wearing them in public, I felt too naked.

  71. I see your point and I believe your heart is in the right place. Just don’t get caught up legalism. Not every man is the same. But if it is your conviction, then you must live that conviction. I would say, however, that wearing leggings under a short dress would certainly be appropriate. This is a good compromise I reached with my daughters. They love cute, bouncy dresses but many of them are not appropriate for church, school, etc. Enter leggings. A cute pair of them really adds to the outfit and makes a dress that would be unwearable become adorable.

  72. And thats how the hijab was invented. Ladies this is coming from a redblooded male. Its usually our problem and nothing you where can change that. In victorian times it was scandalous to show your ankles. Some guys got off of that. Don’t wear heels or open toe sandals some guys are into feet. Business suits? Thats a no-no thats fantasyland for some guys. In short don’t go outside and you won’t have some guy lust over you.

  73. It’s odd to me how many people are getting heated over what is common sense to most. Yes you’re skin is covered but yes we can see if your cold or if underwear is Mormon or boy cut or not at all. Yes we guys all look and yes we feel guilty after seeing where are married minds went. And yes we think girls that wear this stuff have a mental issue of needing attention no matter the cost. And yes we miss the days when girls looked elegant.

  74. Thankyou for posting what most already know deep down but fight it like a teen trying to convince her parents of why she should be able to wear a bikini. Silly girls and their tantrums. If you have to make an argument of why it’s OK to be wearing some attire then you can bet most people already know it is not modest it’s justified Nakedness and yes you got the attention You were seeking at whatever the cost…lol duh

  75. You don’t get it at all. Women aren’t responsible for men’s thoughts–men are. It is entirely possible for men to look at women’s bodies–breasts, ass, vagina, and even shoulders and knees(!)–without thinking sexual thoughts.

    And even if we do think sexual thoughts, is there anything wrong with sexual thoughts? Sex is great, even in the opinion of leaders of the Mormon church! Sexual thoughts don’t lead people to have affairs or rape–the people themselves cause this. And these people need help and education on how to behave, not women changing their dress.

    You are essentially saying that women are somehow responsible when someone rapes them if they happened to be wearing leggings. That is totally messed up logic.

    And by the way, just because you put a disclaimer saying you aren’t meaning to tell women what they should and should not wear doesn’t mean that you aren’t actually doing that in your post.

  76. Ahh, the modesty conversation. Mrs. Partridge, I wish you well in your journey discerning how you can best honor God in your dress. It is challenging and meets with much adverse response but, in the long run it will deepin your love for the King and deepin the respect your husband feels you show him. 🙂 I am blessed to read of a lady trying to be a LADY indeed.

  77. And yet, I have not resorted to ad hominem attacks. What I state is simple and is the truth,

    I do not shy away from stating it becasue it makes people uncofortable or because they dont like it. To be frank we as humans do not typicaly like the truth when it does not fit into out own little views. But Truth remains Truth regardless whether you like it or not.

    And the simple truth here is as I have stated in previous posts. You wish to claim that it is not sinful when you wear those clothes, yet If you can truly claim to be innocent in your knowledge and actions when wearing them rather than trying to gain attention for wearing what you wear. Then you would be innocent from the sin, and the person who stumbles into the temptation of lust is the only one to blame.

    However this is not how adults are, We know full well that people see us and judge us based quite predominantly and almost solely on the clothes one wears. Others here have mentioned that one should wear what one looks good in. I say that is in and of itself a statement of knowledge that one knows they will get attention for what they are wearing, and because of this then the action of wearing leggings out in public would be sinful. There is a known aspect that what is more alluring is not nakedness but to have things covered as the imagination is able to fill in the gaps and our imagination is a poignant thing. Leggings and yoga pants are so form fitting that they might as well not be wearing anything at all. yet they are and so there is the double dose there that one can see the concealed form in its entirety yet it is still covered. This plays into becoming a very attention getting combination.

    Just ask someone who sufferers from a sex addiction just how women wearing such clothes affects them. I can tell you as someone who does suffer from such an affliction, It is not pleasant. Especially when one is trying to live a righteous lifestyle in favor of God. But as I have also stated before We were given free will, how you choose to utilize it is up to you. I strive to be right by god and fail more often then i care to admit, Yet I still try.

    So I ask of my fellow humans, if you follow the teachings of Christ why then must you operate in the ways of the world? Is not Gods way better? why must you make life harder not only for you but for your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? If you cannot see the wrong here in something as simple as what you are wearing then I tell you truly, sin is crouching inside your house. It is not at the door but has hidden itself inside your lifestyle.

  78. I totally agree with you. I always ask my husband to let me know if my shirt is long enough if I’m wearing leggins. It simply a desire to honor God and keep some things for my husband’s eyes only.

  79. There are so many things i would like to say , but I’m not.
    I’m going to leave this conversation simply with, the God I love and serve knows my heart. What anyone else thinks or says has no barring on me or my life.

  80. This is just so gross and absurd to me. I wonder how liberated you’d feel if you’d learn that you are not defined by God, the bible, your husband or your children, but by YOURSELF? You should read a Jane O’Reilly book on feminism. It’d do you some good. Maybe you’d lighten up.

  81. And that is how is should be, But one also does need to be aware of the perceptions that one gives. What you do may not inherently be wrong. But one needs to understand the time and place, Just like how Peter ate the meat sacrificed to another god in Corinth was not wrong as there is no other God it was just food. However it would be wrong if by the action of doing something which would otherwise be harmless causes someone who is weaker in faith to stumble. If that happens then the one who stumbled and the one who was the cause for it are just as guilty.

    Remember Eve was the first to eat of the fruit and Adam followed suit yet they were both guilty of the sin. And the serpent who tempted them,

  82. Guys look and so do women . Thats the end of it. Changing what you wear for your ass or boobs isn’t going to matter.

  83. Let’s all wear baggy jeans because heaven forbid some pervet get off on a pair of leggings, yoga pants and jeans which are form fitting as well. My jeans are tighter than my leggings. Leggings can be worn under dresses, t-shirts, baggy sweaters. I love my leggings and look more comfortable in leggings than in pajamas. As for sinning and blamming us for knowing people look, of course people look. But I am pretty sure last time I wore a nice dress I got hit on.

  84. I think you should read better before making any stateme nt.Muslim women wear hijab solely because God has ask them to do so as in their Holy Book, Quran. But the whole idea is to protect women and preserve their modesty. God knows what are the best for His slave.Howeverthere are some muslim majority country that make this as their laws and be very strict with it. There are muslim women who chose not to wear it but most of the muslim women wear it because of their obedience to God. And they feel very safe with it. Theres nothing about the oppression that many claims. I said this because i live with many muslim women who wear hijab around me and they do not seem like they are being oppressed in any way. Even Mary cover her head isnt she?

    But as a whole, i do agree on all your points that women should really dress modestly. it seems that all the disagreement on this point are women. They thought “oh its okay for me to wear anything as long as it is comfortable with me.its okay to show my boobs and my butt cause i am just trying to be myself.” What a very selfish thinking! Its very different on how women brains work and how mens’ brains work. I just hope all women can just have 2 minutes of a man brain and then only they see their world differently

  85. I went to a different country for 3 months this spring/summer and experienced an unusual culture-shock. All the guys in mid-20s had skinny jeans. The professional guys in mid-20s had fitted slacks. At first, I was very conscious of it and felt like I knew what it’s like for guys to see women in leggings, etc. After a while though, it faded into the background. And when it was time for me to come back to the states, I didn’t like the idea of wearing leggings still, but I wanted to “at least” wear skinny jeans. It felt okay. Like how people at the beach wear swimsuits, people at weddings are dressed nicely. Strangely, when I came back, very few men had skinny jeans. I thought their clothes were the opposite of stylish until I realized what I was used to. I do think there are lines drawn, but I think it can also depend on the place and culture. I don’t think it’s simply whether certain clothes are immodest or modest to wear.

  86. Hi Veronica, as a man, a husband and a father, I would feel very appreciative of your kind thought and sensitivity (especially without your husband, Dale having to restrict you from wearing). I like reading your blog and it gives me a hindsight into the minds of women. Reading at some of the adverse comments posted, sure!! Not all will agree with you but I personally have high respect for your thought and decision. Look forward to reading more of your articles. Have a good weekend.

  87. The fact that all you have for people is sarcasm and rude rebuttals says something about you as a person. As for as I was concerned I was just trying to have you broaden your mind set, seeing as your so close minded that you think a guy don’t look at you even though your “smoking hot”, but society has it’s faults and this my argumentative friend is one of them I’m afraid….the temptations of life. And NOTHING will change it.

  88. You understood my point wrong. I did not argue that men don’t look if someone’s dressed decently, I argued it will be easier for them to look/harder for those who don’t want to look if someone’s dressed provocative. Concerning your statements about me as a person – you have no idea.

  89. Thank you so much for this! I can’t thank you enough! I thought maybe I was alone in this matter. So thankful to know I am not. I am also trying to teach my daughter (a teenager) the same things. Though she did have difficulties with not wearing the latest styles, she is starting to “get it” now. I know in the Bible it does say that if we knowingly cause someone to sin, we are guilty of that sin also. So I understand not wanting to cause a man to lust after us. Yes, some are going to do it anyway, but the point is that we are aware of our actions. So if we are doing something that might cause that to happen, when we become aware of it, or convicted of it, we stop. Period. I do not in anyway want to be guilty of causing someone else to sin. That is too much of a burden to carry. I do not want to have to tell Jesus when I finally see Him why I knowingly did that. Life is not just about us and our feelings. So……..
    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! And may God bless you and your family!

  90. I get what this article is saying when it comes to honoring your husband/lover/etc and on quite a few aspects I agree! But the fact that it takes away a women’s power is where I don’t. Women should not have to feel ashamed to wear leggings, I wear them practically everyday because they are convenient and comfy, not for “attention”. And a women should not be sexualized because of that. The idea that women have to be careful about what they wear around a male is completely nonsensical because men have only themselves to blame if their eyes stray, and not to mention it gives the wrong message to the younger female population. If we teach them to cover up for the sake of the male eyes then it’s a complete waste of all the women’s rights movements that have gotten us this far. I’m definitely not saying to just throw it all out there, but like I said earlier, women should never have to feel ashamed about wearing leggings, because that’s like being ashamed of what God has given you.

  91. Well let me share this. The most dreadful places for me to go is the mall. Especially with my girl. For every 1 modest woman there are 10 women who wear provocative clothing. I look up to any female who chooses to unveil themselves to only their husbands eyes. Also I didn’t know Christians could cuss.

  92. Yeah the whole rape thing is off topic. Rape victims later on in life realize that there was nothing they could do to prevent the act. Its an involuntarily forced sexualized act. Much unlike what you put on your body.

  93. First off what is you say is not entirely the truth it is the truth as you perceive it. The bible in my opinion is meant to be interpreted and used in ones personal daily life, accordingly. A guide for self resolution and healing and love. If that at all. I am not religious, i am however very spiritual and can say that commiting a sin has become so vague that people seem to be using it for anything they dont personally agree with. In which case, you are committing a sin, you are putting yourself and your ideas higher than what god wants you to be putting it. I highly doubt god is looking upon us thinking, the women that wear these pants that so resemble the body, the form of beauty that i created to be worshipped as a temple, shall be punishedor their sins and must further no more wear these garments because a garment is cause for mans sin of lust..
    its a garment. world peace and love and holy satisfaction and spirituality, wholeness, do not come from any form or garb whether baggy nor formed, whether torn nor clean, does not defy any act under the name of god nor does it resemble a sin. To cover ones sinful actions god placed but a mere leaf/foliage covering about adam and eve, to punish them, he left revealing a mighty lot, including the entirety of the legs, buttocks, arms, neck, feet, etc. So covering your legs with fabric is even more so thorough than that of which the bible speaks as adequate punishment and modesty from man made in gods image. Or am i just way off here? I refrained from any ad hominem attacks as you so put it.
    The idea of placing ones self worth and another mans ability to control his thoughts and urges onto the responsibility of a woman alone and her choice of garb is utterly horrendous. it teaches young women that we must first think of mens thoughts and then our own. Did god not make us equal and did he not make us to unify eachother rather than give up morality and self empowerment for our fellow man? Selflessness means everyone putting aside their feelings for eachother, not putting aside a females feelings for a mans. And on a side note, i apologize for all females that you have came across if it is true that you met women that openly admitted to choosing their garb just to get men to stare. But we are not all created with the same thoughts, we are equally unique persons and as such should be treated as so.

  94. I completely respect you right now, your self empowerment to openly admit that your opinion may also be potentially swayed by past abuse is admirable. I too was assaulted and although i was wearing more modest clothes than ever have taken steps to do my best to prevent future occurances. But thats just it, my garb, my clothing, my appearance in style, had nothing to do with being assaulted, its about control. And saying that we must change our appearance to give men less a reason to lust is like saying we must play dead when our pets are being assaulted so we dont also become assaulted. It may not be such an extreme, but the point behind it is, instead of hiding and cowering and letting someone elses thoughts and actions control our lives, we must choose to not play ‘dead” and stand up and fight for our “animals”, fight for our individuality and comfort and whatever else we want. And not only will we be fighting for ourselves but we will be fighting for children and fellow man, to grow and flourish in a world where thoughts are the fault of the person thinking them, and actions as well. and a world where people can be themselves, FOR themselves.

    Given i do believe there is a time and a place for certain attire, only because this world unfortunately does have so many judgemental ideas about appearance, and to not do so would sadly mean getting hardly anywhere in this day and age. If you are going to a meeting, a job, or a courtroom, etc, wear something that demands respect. Wearing a bathing suit to a job interview isnt going to be taken seriously. But to control what we wear every second of the day unless we are at home, is just taking away so much freedom. Even then i would like to live in a world where going to a job interview, etc. Without worrying about what we are wearing, because its just clothes. hate to break it to all these people agreeing with this, but men dont like clothes lustfully as much as they like you naked (typically) and therefore at any point and with any attire unless you are naked or literally showing your “goodies” they will still have to do some imagining to picture you naked, and thats them taking you mentally and turning it into something you are not wearing. Which cannot be your fault. You covered up. Even if just with little shorts, you covered your crotch, if a man wants to sit there and lust over your body parts that are covered thats his deal, you did your job of not being a stripper at the store. And anyways, its not a bad thing for a man or a woman to lust over people. Its human nature. And many countries find our sexual deprivation And suppression, in america, a laughable yet concerning mistake. we create situations of making clothes sexual. We created that, by saying that it is so. Just like choosing words, an apple is an apple because it was said to be so. The word fuck is obscene because someone else said it is so. Leggings are sexual because someone said so, see the trend? No one can dictate what is right or wrong, because it is merely a perception of our beliefs and insecurities and deprivations, or love, or compassion or any other feeling that drives your belief of a certain thing. Its not until someone gives a word power does it become meaningful and in return its not until someone takes away the power that it can be interpreted freely. In japan, they dont have a word for love, technically. Because they know that feelings cannot be given the power of a single meaning and a single word, because its an interpretation of ones own desires.

    Alright im done haha, but again thank you for being

  95. You know this because you were raped? sorry for being so blunt and insensitive, but you cant say that all rape victims come to terms with it not being there fault.
    And and also visual indulgences are subject to perspective and differences. So there is no definitive way a woman or man can dress without creating a visual indulgence for anyone. I know a man who was only turned on by heels and boots, yet rven the most modest woman can be wearing heels and boots. To dress ourselves to prevent visual indulgence is impossible as we do not know everyone around us and what they find indulging. As well, we did not privelage anyone to oggle us for any reason unless its clearly being made so. Going to the store in leggings does not mean we are privelaging men with visual lust, it means we are wearing clothes and a man or woman or whatever is attracted to it. Men wear suits, and a man in a suit is probably the sexiest thing ever on a guy and most women agree, yet they arent told to stop wearing them because they are enticing women. Why is it that men being lustful is bad and we must stop it and women being lustful and thinking sexually about a person is not an issue? I dont think either should be an issue, but to me it seems as if the men that agree with this are openly saying that men have less of an ability to control themselves and are more irresponsible with their thoughts and actions and therefore need to catered to, as if they are a child needing women to be child proofed. If you dont see that analogy then maybe think a little harder about what you are agreeing with. Lusftul thoughts are what provokes rape, therefore this has everythibf to do with it as the author is claiming that her choice in pants causes involuntary lust and sexual desire from men who have no control over doing so. sexual abuse is not only classified as rape and molestation. Its about any sexual words, unwarranted enticing or lude behaviour, or someone openly admitting that they are thinking about you sexually everytime you wear certain pants, sexual abuse is simply any unwanted sexual reaction from anyone or anything. Its the person who becomes sexually appealed by things such as pants, responsibility to control their thoughts. Thats like saying that its ok to think someone looks ugly as hell because its the other person that is looking this certain way and they need to change the way they look so you dont think bad things about them. Or like thinking that mentally challenged people are disgusting but its their fault you feel that way because of whatever it is they are doing or looking like. Sounds pretty fucked up doesnt it? When you switch the situations it seems a little gender biased. The most true statement i ever heard was that its not your business what anyone else thinks of you. Now sure this may contradict the afore mentioned hypothetical situations, but in the same sense, it also empowers those that are sensing your scrutiny, it lets them realise that they dont need to worry about what you think, because its your thoughts, thats on you, youre entitled to think what you want, but you are not entitled to expect people to change for it and you are definitely not expected to blurt out or act out on your thoughts alone. You are not god.

  96. Imnot trying to be rude im just genuinly asking your opinion, but a long time ago men wore tights, which were actually leggings as they were the thicker fabric and had no feet to them typically. Yet no one even slightly corrected them or said they were sinning or causing others to lust for them in a bad way. Pants back in the day were often tight for men or women because it provides better ability to move for working or swordsmanship, etc. And also your opinion on jeans as they also typically define a great deal? Or the leggings that fleece inner linings that are used for their warm purposes and being able to be easily put into boots during colder weather? or what about running, because running with loose clothing is so much harder to do and causes much more resistance, and then yoga, you have to wear tight pants at least up the the thighs and buttocks so that when you do the proper positions you, one. Are able to see your form so you know your body placement is right, and two. So that it doesnt interfer and tangle up when getting into certain complex positions. also gymnists are required to wear form fitting clothes typically for the sam e reasons, and often they wear short short and same with ballet and ice skating, and with swimsuits, and with cheerleading. So i guess im just wondering why is it different for you? and acceptable for them in your eyes? (If it is at all) arent all your movements an act of exercise? And shouldnt your body be shown as strong and empowered by wearing clothes that give you an appearance of positive body image? I mean its not as if we are talking about walking around the store in a bikini, or a bra and see through shirt, we are talking about leggings, a form fitted pant. And for the short shorts, do you also not wear swimsuits? Because they are the same in length unless you wear body suits or long board shorts, im just a little curious as to what fuels your decisions on this topic? And at which clothes you have allowed yet not allowed even with the similarities. If you dont mind humouring me.

  97. Oh and also curious, you said thoughtful to your brothers, and it makes me wonder do you believe that men are the only ones that are like this? Because i have yet to see anything regarding men should change different clothes they wear because it causes lust from married women. Men often take their shirts off on a hot day even though if an attractive man does it women will be (typically) enticed by it, but yet they are allowed, yet if a woman took off her top on a hot day or even just wore a bikini top around, people glare at her and consider her promiscuous and try to guilt them into changing into something that makes them warmer just to not entice men. So do you have any opinions on that? You seem very open with people having different ideas of modesty, as i agree with so i thought it would be interesting to see your views on these matters.

  98. Men actually dont really think much differently than us, to be honest. At least not when it comes to finding other people attractive, and sexual desire and lust and the emotions they have in general. Its just that articles like this and people pushing these ideas in the past caused women to be forced to hide their sexuality and suppress it so they dont appear as whores and so they dont get in the way of men making money or talking or anything for that matter and so they maintain modesty, even though modesty and sexual desires are not the same thing. Studies now a days have been shown that women are just as sexual of creatures as men are. We have different stimuli sometimes, but all people men and women alike all have different things that get them going (turn ons). Also men are typically suppressed about their emotions because people thought it would make them weak, they still feel like we do, they sometimes show it differently but the thoughts are still there, its just concealed to fit societal norms and in doing this it causes more emotional issues because they have altered natural processes in their brains, just as we have altered with our self empowerment and sexuality and independence. If you want to come to realization about something id start with realizing the truth about female sexuality and empowering yourself. And that usually starts with not letting your idea of what looks good on you, sway, just because someone might think lustfully of you. You are a beautiful person, we all are, and we need to embrace our feelings and desires rather than convict them. god gave them to us, to be capable of feeling deep passion and intimacy, and self love. We deserve to have people find us visually indulgent. to say its bad is to say that its bad that anyone ever finds you attractive and no one would ever fall in love or meet eachother or get married. Because as much as people want to deny it, physical attraction is important in a relationship. No it should not be the first thing that is sought after, but i does matter. How can you be sexually attracted to someone and have sex without enjoying the body and person you are having it with? Therefor its important to allow people to be attracted to you, unless they are trying to hurt you, then you stop them, not your choices in appearance because chances are if someone is going to attack you sexually or call out degrading remarks, it probably has nothing to do with what you are wearing unless you are dressed like a hooker, literally, and has everything to do with that persons lack of attention and love in their lives. Its important not to run and change anytime someone might find you as sexy or hot or whatever word you want to use unless you are literally walking around naked or showing off private parts. and chances are men dont typically walk around saying or doing inapproriate things to women they find sexy. They normally just glance real quick or stare for awhile depending on how much they find you attractive. so whats the harm in that? Dont you want to be allowed to oggle a super hot man if you see one? Whether married or not finding other people attractive is normal. And its damaging to a relationship to expect eachother not to look at attractive people and its also naive to believe that once you are in a relationship you no longer find anyone else physically attractive.

  99. How can you consider yoga pants and leggings revealing? They cover literally every inch of your butt, crotch, legs and even part of your feet… and short skirts…what is revealing? Your legs? So do you also not even go swimming or do you wear a diving suit….

  100. The questions regarding clothing can be answered very simply. From the Christian POV: Would Mary, the Mother of Jesus wear Leggings or Yoga pants? Would Jesus be pleased if he came down to Earth and saw you in Yoga pants?

  101. I will wear what I decide to wear for convenience and comfortability for myself. A predator will go after a women no matter what she is really wearing and men will stare at whom they want. Woman have been fighting for their rights for centuries and I’m not going to change my dress code because men have wandering eyes. I wear them for myself, not the attention. If that’s the case though, might as well stick with turtle necks and bagging jeans, skirts below the knee, and dresses that are not low cut in the slightest.. All for the men.

  102. And I say YES! If Jesus came to earth and I was wearing yoga pants while I was was whorshiping him….the last thing Jesus would say is ” not happy with you , you could have chosen to wear something else”.
    Not the God I serve.

  103. Decently? What is defined as sexy? When the world sets the standards for this, then we can find what decent really is.

  104. My comment is most certainly not off topic. It is on topic with the opinions I wish to express and very directly relates to the article.

  105. Part of loving your neighbor as yourself is not putting a stumbling block in front of them. Care more for people than you do your own self. It’s a cop out when people say “men are going to look anyway.” It’s like saying I saw that rock in the street but didn’t move it because people are always going to trip over things. Love your neighbor by moving the rock so they don’t stumble over it.

  106. Pheonix, I think your missing part of the point i was making. I never once said that in the case of this discussion the men were not at fault for their minds. I have repeatedly stated that we are responsible for our thoughts.

    What I have stated was a simple fact that responsibility however does not just end with the man, Most of us do not wake up and immediately start having thoughts such as these. There is always a cause which starts it, It is this where the distinction is made. If the cause as again in this case is the wearing of certain garments is truly made through an innocent action then the only person guilty of sin is the one with the though. However in our world an adult is not an innocent, There is a reason why in the Jewish culture that they celebrate Barmitzvahs and Batmitzvahs when the child turns 12. It is because around that age you start becoming self aware.

    This is typically the age when you can go back to in your memories and dissect the reasons for why you had done something. Adults always have a reason for everything done, there is no question for that. It is just a simple fact, whether someone thinks about the reason or not does not change that. Every piece of clothing we wear is designed to bring attention to it. And it has become something so rote for us that we don’t always even continuously do it. Take David for example, He was constantly stated to be a man after God’s own heart. And even he sinned, and it didn’t register with him till after Samuel came and confronted him about it.

    This has been my entire point here all along, To many of us that call ourselves christian still live the ways that the world works when we have been called to be apart from the world. The flesh’s ways should not be our ways, We are called to live in the world but not live of the world. It is a simple directive but until you learn the meaning of it, it is one that is difficult to follow through.

    Yes the bible is meant to be read, but when you get down to it there honestly is not a lot of interpretation that needs to go along with it. It is the most preserved book in the world and parts of it are known to date back to the 3rd or 4th century BC. no other book in our collective histories has that claim, But i digress a bit. in the thousands of years that the books of the bible span they paint a picture of human nature that surprisingly has not changed one lick. sure our responses to things have changed as the things that make us respond have changed with the times. But our base nature has remained the same.

    Even God himself has stated that Ignorance of sin is no excuse. If one is ignorant that they are committing a sin, they are still guilty of the sin. Just like how the laws we abide by in our country state Ignorance of the Law is not a defense. There are however levels of ignorance, and that is what I am trying to bring light upon. If one is new to Christ, as it would seem many here are from many of the comments I have read then there is some leeway given to them while they transition from the old lifestyles. And just to be clear, when i say new I am referring to ones maturity level in their faith. One can be a follower for decades and still be at the maturity level with their faith that is the same level or even below that of when they first believed. But the more one studies the word and lives by that faith the more mature they become and then are also held more accountable. These are the things that I have been trying to state as my points in my previous posts.

  107. A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. You don’t want to be “disrespected” by men, then set some boundaries in your dress standards. Personally, our society, Christian or not, has been bombarded with how to look and feel sexy. I certainly do not want my husband to be tempted more than he already is by everything out there. I’m not saying be frumpy. Modesty is not drawing attention to yourself in general. If you are dressing to bring attention to specific features of your body, you’re dressing immodestly. If you are covering your entire body with sacks, you’re also drawing attention to yourself; therefore dressing immodestly. It all comes down to a matter of your heart. Ladies, we know how to dress to get a man’s attention. But, why should we put all of the blame on men when we are enticing them. Yes, there are a lot of perverts out there, but our society raised them through constantly showing off women’s bodies as something to be lusted after instead of respected. It’s just as much disrespect for a lady to dress in a way that makes a man look at her wrong as it is for a man to look at a woman wrong. Thank you to the author for sharing her heart! Her husband must appreciate and respect her so much more because of her decision.

  108. Self control. Two words really simple concept. We walk around with this thought that men can’t control there actions. Well that’s bull. They are human they have free will and a moral compass just like woman do. We act like they are animals and don’t know better. Just like when a woman gets raped we blame her . Because she was asking for it right? Because a man couldn’t help himself she was to pretty. It’s like saying a theft happens because the thief couldn’t help him self . it’s a choice u eather do or do not .and if u are a living breathing human with a moral compass and a brain in your head u family well know what is wright and wrong .

  109. When I was in high school I moved to India from Portland Oregon. I was always shy and tried my best to avoid bringing unwanted attention to my self. But when I got to India I found that my fair skin and hair brought me all the attention I had been avoiding all my life. Indian men tend to view western women as being easy because of what they see in tv and movies. I would get followed down streets, catcalled, men would chase me down on motorbikes and try and reach into my rickshaw. So I tried to blend, I dyed my hair darker, I only whore indian clothes and kept my shoulders and legs covered, But the attention and harassment continued. So I finally came to the realization that I had to be myself, I lightened my hair, I mixed western clothes with my favorite indian pieces and I bloomed. My newfound confidence was so strong that silenced a lot of the unwanted attention (not all but a lot) because men pray on the weak and try to exploit that weakness. What im trying to say is that trying to change how you look to avoid attention is not going to fix your problem, it will only lead you to feeling shameful about yourself every time attention is directed at you.

  110. Take it from someone who ruined many good events and contributed to the demise of my first marriage when my child was a toddler, don’t fight over him looking at other women. It doesn’t matter. Men are going to notice other women. Be bigger than the moment and let things like this go, insist he not do it overtly in front of you but let it go. As they get older and you get older you’ll be glad you did, I’m older and married again and happy. I don’t even notice if he does now, I focus on having a good day but if he were somehow ogling it would be a quick joke and we’d enjoy our day. Anyway, this blog is what I wish I would’ve had 15 years ago, keep up the honest writing! Best wishes!

  111. This is the dumbest thing I have ever read! Men are going to look and lust no matter what you wear. Why let what they do decide what you wear? SMH….

  112. I understand what you’re saying and I know you are doing this for you and it is just your way of thought, but I feel that women shouldn’t have to limit themselves on what they wear or anything else just because it will be tempting to men. Some men will have lustful thoughts even if you’re not wearing leggings and they don’t try to not have them just because you might be wearing them. If a change is really wanted then it would take both sides to do so and it seems absurd to me that women should not wear something she likes just because it might provoke a man. It is like saying “because she dresses like a slut, she is one,” or that her wearing something tight gives a man the right to look at her in a lustful way. This is my opinion and I simply wanted to share it like you did yours.

  113. I understand what you’re saying and I know you are doing this for you and it is just your way of thought, but I feel that women shouldn’t have to limit themselves on what they wear or anything else just because it will be tempting to men. Some men will have lustful thoughts even if you’re not wearing leggings and they don’t try to not have them just because you might be wearing them. If a change is really wanted then it would take both sides to do so and it seems absurd to me that women should not wear something she likes just because it might provoke a man. It is like saying “because she dresses like a slut, she is one,” or that her wearing something tight gives a man the right to look at her in a lustful way. This is my opinion and I simply wanted to share it like you did yours.

  114. Holy cow there is a lot of anger in these comments that I really don’t understand. Here is a woman that has recognized a single situation that she feels she can affect. She never said she could fix the world or even that she can stop lustful thoughts in other people. After a conversation she came to the conclusion that the wearing of a specific item can make it more difficult for some men who are attempting to be respectful and not look. She decided that she can make a simple change to effect a very specific dynamic that she feels good about and to make life a teeny tiny bit easier for like minded people to go through their day. It is not vanity on her part, and it is not judgment toward anyone else. Why so much anger? She is taking responsibility for her own actions and how those actions might be effecting others. All of the sudden people are going mad and attacking her. It makes no sense unless a person is willing to consider that the cultural philosophy of “I can do anything I want to whenever I want with zero responibility for how it might touch someone else.” has taken total controll. Under those circumstances I would expect irrational nearly violent anger towards a person who has the temerity to say “I will accept some level of responsibility for how my actions might affect someone else.” A person who takes responsibility, (even a very little bit under very specific circumstances) would really rattle the world view of the people around them who hold the “me first” belief system, maybe even make those people question if they are doing the right thing.

  115. Ridiculous argument. Most people I know wouldn’t think twice about a bathing suit at a pool or the beach but we all shake our head a little when we see someone walking through the store in a two piece. Context does matter and there is such a thing as appropriate.

  116. With porn EASILY accessible to every man who knows how to operate his iPhone, Android, and laptop at home…what girls are wearing at the grocery store hardly even nicks the surface of what it takes to turn a guy on or cause him to lust.

    If you’re an a healthy woman with a cute smile and tasteful makeup, a guy *WILL* notice you. Now notice and lust are different; but some men, as other men and women have already pointed out here, will lust with *very little* help.
    There’s always going to be a “weaker brother” out there.

    In my opinion, we’d need all be wearing baggy clothing to truly follow the Corinthian doctrine that Paul writes.
    Personally, I think women should celebrate their health and sexuality by wearing clothing that *tastefully* compliments their form. I think the same thing goes for men. If a guy wears designer jeans that accentuate his ass a little or a t-shirt that brings out those pectorals that he’s worked so hard for at the gym for, then go for it, bro! With this said, both sides need to be able to still respect each other and know not to let their thoughts (or actions especially) wander, unbridled.

    That is all..I’m signing out and not replying to any rebuttals/replies 😉

  117. I deeply respect your views. As a man I take responsibility for what I think and what intention I interact with others no matter how you dress I am responsible for how I act but your desire to seek modesty speaks volumes about your beliefs, values, courage to go against the flow, and your respect for me and your willingness to make the choices I must make a little easier. I hope I can live in such a way that small choices I make can cause your day to be a little easier too.

  118. Sara Sarah, the author drew no such comparison. You are making a “straw man” argument and it is a logical fallacy. I, for one, respect a muslim woman’s choice to wear a hijab, I respect an amish woman’s choice to wear a bonnet as well. While both women choose to cover their hair for the sake of modesty based on religious and cultural convictions any attempt to draw parallels between the world views that drive the cultures of the two groups would be foolish at best. This woman has made a choice forced on her by no one and she is not attempting to force it on anyone else. She has made the choice, in part, to lessen the potential for temptation in the lives of others. Most people get annoyed with the muslim community when/if they attempt to institute shariah law and force others to wear the hijab under penalty of prison, beatings, or death if they do not. It is this world view that usually draws the derision and has resulted in a backlash.

  119. What a stupid, stupid, stupid woman. The douchebag husband must be one of those guys who knows he can’t get anything even half way decent looking without having to tolerate crazy. I see a ton of guys like this douche. It’s not worth it dude. She’s cheating on you anyway. I PROMISE YOU!! I know she is, for a FACT!

    “Why I chose to no longer wear leggings”. Know who else agrees with you, veron? ISIS and most of islamists who would rather see their women wear black burqas. Your choice of clothing and argument isn’t even about Christianity anyway. Stupid, dumb woman. You’re a prudish whore. Nothing more. You father should have shot into a towel.

  120. Jake, I admire a guy who is willing to put as much thought into not causing women to stumble as he is into trying not to stumble himself. That speaks well for you! I have been convicted for years that it is my responsibility not to dress provocatively for anyone but my husband, and that includes leggings worn without a long shirt over them. My husband gets to enjoy what other men can’t see in gratuitous detail. We live in such lust-soaked culture that this is lost on most people – even the ones who say they belong to Jesus, but still dress like the world.

    Now, about your jeans. I think the answer depends on how skinny they are. There’s fitted, and then there’s skin tight. Yeah, they were a good price, and I like bargains too. But how much do they reveal? Women struggle, too, when men dress immodestly. The worst offenders are well-built guys who work out wearing a tank with a lot of skin showing or without a shirt altogether. We want to honor our husbands and future husbands too, without thinking of another man in this capacity.

  121. As a man who has worn leggings I can say, they are even comfy around the junk they aren’t made to house.

  122. Ok, I looked at your Instagram. You are beautiful and have a beautiful family, but I am confused. None of my business, but if you are going to stop wearing leggings…why not stop wearing form fitting t-shirts that show the shape of your breasts, low-cut blouses, tight fitting dress that show every curve including the shape of your belly, too? What about bathing suits? Are you going to stop wearing make up and doing your hair? Cause you might want to consider that any hint of attractiveness might get you attention you may not want. Also, why did you post a picture of your half naked husband on Instagram with a caption that says “Okay, does everybody see this? This is MY husband! (7 years ago) Sexy right?!” – just asking…cause you know…some female might see that picture and have lustful thoughts. You wouldn’t want that would you? Why is it okay with you for him to be naked waist up on the Internet, FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE, but wrong for you to wear leggings in your small community? I respect your decision and admire your devotion to your husband and to God, but there are some things you might want to think about. Leggings are not evil. And by the way skinny jeans aren’t either (which it seems you have no issue wearing).

  123. Jake, I don’t think skinny jeans are immodest at all, unless of course…how do I put this….hmmm. I guess I will say this…They are not immodest at all unless the outline of your “stuff” is noticeable. It sounds like you are a modest guy, so trust your own judgement. Put them on and take a good look in the mirror at all angles. You will know when you put them on and look whether or not they are vulgar. You can be modest and fashionable at the same time 🙂 Hope that helps.

  124. Very interesting column. Today I finished reading a book called The Lost Art of Dress: the Women Who Once Made America Stylish b Linda Przybyszewski. Fascinating book. I have been thinking about it all day. It has taken me a while to read it. Covers women’s clothing from the 1900s to current days. I have hit by 50s, and there is NOTHING to wear that is either made for someone my daughters’ ages or my mother’s. Now I understand why I am so frustrated when I clothes shop. I have read a number of books recently, among the French Women Don’t Get Fat, French Women Don’t Get Facelifts, How to Look Expensive and Toss the Gloss – makeup/fashion for women over 40. Talk about eye opening. There is nothing wrong with dressing modestly and stylishly. The “Dress Doctors” taught women how to stretch each yard of fabric and dress well on a budget. Timeless fashion. They preferred practicality, and empowering women to design and make clothing for the workplace and home. Shoes that were fashionable AND comfortable. it is possible. Easy design principles: Harmony, proportion, balance rhythm, emphasis.
    Holy cow, we need to learn these things again. It is possible to look stylish and chic. You don’t need a huge wardrobe full of clothing. You need appropriate clothing for what you do: work, home, leisure, vacation. I miss the days when people dressed nicely for church and travel. Who didn’t go to the grocery store wearing pajamas and slippers (yes, guilty of the pajama pants thing)
    And it also discusses men’s clothing. Professional attire for women casual, sports, etc. I often hear complaints about what young people wear to job interviews, to special occasions, etc. There are firms on Wall Street that are having to hire consultants to come in and discuss what is appropriate to wear to work. Skirts so short that you cannot bend over in them or sit in them, tops so low cut that if one bends slightly, you can see all the way down.
    But I don’t want to dress like my mom, either. I don’t really want to dress the way she did at my age and I don’t want to dress like my younger SIL does (frumpy, but expensive frumpy). I have already cleared out my closet of a number of things and will continue to wean and add to it.
    And one of the things that I loved most about it was the discussion about clothing appropriate for teen girls. This drives me crazy currently. My daughters prefer and preferred to dress modestly. They are/were uncomfortable with clothing that is too tight, too low cut or too short. I’m proud of them. They still look fashionable. Prom time is coming up and girls are starting to look for dresses. I saw pictures of friends’ daughters and my great nephew’s date for prom. In no way appropriate. Sorry, I just don’t think that a teen girl needs to be wearing a strapless dress cut to her hip. They are seldom flattering unless you have the exact perfect figure, and few of us do. We have designers designing clothing that is more fitting for the figure of a pre-pubescent boy than a woman with a figure.
    I do plan to read it again and get a copy for my personal library. And yes, I tend to steer my younger daughter away from really skinny jeans, leggings (unless under a dress), etc. She doesn’t need to dress like that at 15. the biggest problem is that she is 5’6″, under 100 lbs so ALL pants look skinny on her. Her charter school had a dress code of no skinny pants on the girls. Fortunately, her sister (equally skinny) was there first & they understood.

  125. Not necessarily. This is something that was on HER heart and HER mind and HER decision. I find it amazing just how bitchy women can be when another woman makes a decision for herself that they don’t approve of.

  126. Susan, Ann Taylor Loft and New York New York have great clothing for ladies our age. Loft has great sales too – so you don’t have to drain your wallet for a nice outfit. Hope this helps. I too struggle with what to put on at my age.

  127. You said almost everything I was thinking. Feeling attractive and turning heads is sometimes quite nice. I also don’t think you’re going to the extreme in your rape comment, I think that’s exactly what the whole “modesty” thing is about. It’s about controlling women and blaming rape victims without reaching, and without exaggeration, without slippery slopes.

  128. Rape Culture is the implication that in someway the victim is responsible for being raped. Rape is just as common in countries where women cover up head to toe.

    This blog post says that leggings may make men become lustful. This implies blame back on the woman wearing the leggings. Women don’t deserve to be treated like this.

  129. “I’m smoking hot” – Bah haha. If I saw a picture of you and knew you said that even if you were attractive in the strictly physical sense you’ve lost every ounce of it in that sentence.

    “I don’t need […] to feel sexy” – You don’t need anything to feel sexy, but it’s a great boost to your self-esteem and self-image to find that someone finds you attractive especially if they aren’t your partner.

    “Tired of this ignorance” – Nothing ignorant was said, dude stated facts. It’s not fun to not get what you want, but it’s not your fault and it’s not your problem if someone decides they want you and can’t have you.

    “… will be easier for them to look/harder for those who don’t want to…” – If you don’t want to look, don’t. It’s pretty simple. If a person can’t control their urges it’s their problem. We’re talking about people with agency, you seem to want to make men out to be ogling idiots.

  130. Rape culture… about as stupid as deciding to not lock your doors because you the victim is responsible for such a horrendous thing that has happened to them.
    In other words, the common sense is lacking. Its like making gun laws for criminals.

  131. Just wanted to point out that on your husband’s blog right now, I’m seeing an ad for “Fabletics by Kate Hudson,” which features an extreme close up of a woman’s rear end in yoga pants. Oh, the irony. Anyway, you might want to alert him to limit the sponsored content, if you really feel this way.

  132. It’s the religious version of keeping up with the Joneses. I tend to see a lot of religious people trying to one up each other in so called righteousness. This is a perfect example of it and I agree with your points. They announce to the world, “I will no longer wear leggings! (Look how righteous I am!)” Yet they continue to do 10 other things that are essentially equivalent or worse than wearing leggings. Religion is just as much about keeping up appearances as it is Jesus. Leggings? Really?

  133. Thanks for this article. I’ve decided to stop going to church so that I can wear what I want, relax, and not have to encounter men with carnal thoughts gone wild and critical women who think they’re more spiritual than me because of how they’re dressed. What a horrible stressful place. I mean I don’t even look good in yoga pants. Imagine what happens when I wear something that looks nice. Phew. What a relief to be free from all of that. I mean after a summer of seeing girls butt cheeks hanging out of their shorts, cleavage and mid driffs exposed, I’ve found leggings to be a welcome sight. Your conviction is your conviction. But making it public in this type of forum makes it something else. How marvelous how blogs can now guilt us on food additives, vaccines, dating, books, and even yoga pants. I’m probably just tired and grumpy from my stomach issues often worsened by pant waistlines so I’m wearing yoga pants now. I’ll be sure to have a sign made- I’m wearing these due to chronic constipation, bloating, cramps and nausea, not to look sexy. Just to avoid the judgemental stares. That should turn off the immoral thoughts too. I agree if you feel uncomfortable with them then you shouldn’t. But if you are critical and mean in your mind to another woman wearing them, now you’re sinning. As women, we really stink at just embracing one another in love.

  134. The day I stop wearing the clothes I want because men can’t keep their dicks in their pants is the day I officially give up as a human being

  135. Rape culture is blaming the victim when they did nothing wrong. It’s like locking the door and still getting robbed and being told it was your fault because you bought a house with breakable windows. And because your windows were breakable you put the thought into the robbers mind that he should rob you.

  136. You’ve reached a milestone in your spiritual sensitivity, and that’s a very personal experience. Others who have not arrived at that kind of sensitivity are not going to understand. They’re going to call you self-righteous or fanatical or say you’re following incorrect thinking. It’s to be expected.

  137. Oh religion always playing the persecution card. “Oh this crazy shit we believe in must be true why else would all these people be persecuting us saying we believe in crazy shit?”

  138. Rape Culture is an idea… victim blaming is considered part of the behavior of that idea. Your example is poor because in your example, the victim took action to defend themselves and were still robbed. In my example, the victim took no action because they believe that the world is a beautiful utopian place and that how they dress is inconsequential to the people who walk with them and then were upset when they found themselves robbed and didn’t know why.

    Victim blaming as a concept makes sense when in fact the victim didn’t put themselves in harms way. However, if someone can say they were robbed/raped/etc, and it doesn’t pass the common sense test… well you are likely to get less sympathy.

    In this case, the blog writer isn’t victim blaming. She is coming to a realization.

  139. Ha, what a joke, if you don’t want to wear something don’t wear it, but don’t pretend you’re saving throngs of lustful men. From what I know, pride is a sin as well, and I’m thinking you might be a tad conceited thinking that removing your scantily clad ass has any impact on the world whatsoever. Actually, it’s been a long time since I met anyone who thought her ass was a focal point of every guy she passed by. As far as publicizing your story, is it in hopes that other women will also give an attempt to saving the throngs of lustful men plodding about their day to day life? Or is it to be exalted on a pedestal for your good deeds? Everything about this screams that it was done for the wrong reasons, but hey, you took a stand on something. I’m sure God is putting your name on the list as we speak, pity you took so long to give up yoga pants, you could have been saved a lot sooner.

  140. Dear Someguy,

    1. “and knew you said that even if you were attractive in the strictly physical sense you’ve lost every ounce of it in that sentence.”
    Since when some words said by a woman have the power to annihilate
    her physical attraction? Reconsider that. Constructing on your logic
    every woman who speaks wisely becomes physically attractive. And here’s
    how we solved the clothing dilemma: speak wisely and you become more
    attractive. Speak with stupidity and no one will want you.

    2. I’m glad you agree with me: I don’t need anything to be sexy nor to feel sexier.

    3. “Dude stated facts”. My friend, These are facts: “The effects of Clothing andDyad Sex Composition on Perceptions of Sexual Intent” from Journal of Applied Social Psychology http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1559-1816.1987.tb00304.x/abstract;jsessionid=EC746091333AF5D09D5A871E3B6EB378.f02t01
    (And you can find more of these)

    4. It’s because I perceive men as “people with agency” I argue these points.

    Thank you for your thoughts, this was my last intervention.

  141. This is the biggest piece of rubbish I have read in a long time. I come from a country where women have over 20 sexual partners each on average. Women where I come from lust after men like a dog with a bone. I heard it all from men been used as nothing more then a one night stand to women been bored so they will go have sex with anyone. And some of the men are like this too. I just want to say, that oust isn’t gender specific and that no matter what the men/women are wearing or saying it’s not there fault there are been sexually harassed. People are responsible for their own thoughts and actions, no matter what they see in front of them. If you can look at your own mother or father, sister or brother without sexual desires/thoughts then you can easily do that for every other person on earth- as the bible calls us to do, it is just a matter of self control. 1 Timothy 5:2. ‘Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.’ I find this post ridiculous because this women isn’t stoping anyone’s lust and nor is it her. Responsibility to. As for her husband if he is looking or even wanting to look at other women then he obviously still has lust issues.

  142. People are responsible for their own thoughts and actions, no matter what they see in front of them. If you can look at your own mother or father, sister or brother without sexual desires/thoughts then you can easily do that for every other person on earth- as the bible calls us to do, it is just a matter of self control. 1 Timothy 5:2. ‘Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.’ I find this post ridiculous because this women isn’t stoping anyone’s lust and nor is it her. Responsibility to. As for her husband if he is looking or even wanting to look at other women then he obviously still has lust issues.

  143. Yes but again, you are claiming that you can fortell all these peoples thoughts, you say that we all have a reason for what we do whih is of course correct, however, that reason is only known to us, therefore if there is no way of knowing our reason then it becomes the sole responsibility of the male or female that is being lustful over something they find attractive. The only place i can say anyone can directly apply your logic to would be a strip club. Because as you even admitted, that if the person who is wearing the garment has no intent to attract and is merely, say, i dont know, getting done working out and doesnt have time to go home and change before stopping by the store, then anyone who sits there and lusts after them or whatever it is that you are so disgusted by that you claim to be sinful, then thats on them for thinking it. And to be quite honest, we have no control over what a man or a woman lusts after. Men have lustful thoughts over women who wear hijab and burka, and men have lustful thoughts over women dressed conceiled as a amish, and women have lustful thoughts over men wearing full suits, and women have lustful thoughts over men wearing loose fitted jeans and his work clothes, then there are the ones that lust over things like the type of shoe ones wearing, or the way thair hair looks, why? Because its natural and god made us this way. He designed us to be attracted to others so that we might find the partner in life that we choose to fit our admirations. So to say that women need to read the minds of every man that enters the room and have a constant wordrobe with her to change and accomodate each mans lustful desires, well thats just ridiculous, but that is the only way to actually have your logic work. And just because you think this world is full of people that are constantly thinking about sex doesnt mean its true. In fact from information i have gathered over my years it would appear the opposite. Yes many people glance and think oh that persons nice looking, but on average, thats the extent of it. Christians and religious folk alike however have been more likely to think further sexual thoughts about strangers simply for the fact that they are being so strictly required to repress their sexuality. Most people dont need to sit there and go all crazy lustful over people at the store but if they are being denied even the ability to look at other people as attractive at all, chances are they are going to be more inclined to have such thoughts. Now obviously thus doesnt apply to all religious people because even they all dont have the same minds and interests. But you are saying that christians should not allow themselves to be attracted to anyone? Because thats all this whole discussion is about, the lady posting this didnt say that men were trying to hump her in the store or that her husband looked at women and then came home and jerked off to it or cheated on her with these women he had mere attractiveness to. So whats the big deal with christians and non religious folk finding someones clothing or body or personality or face, etc attractive? why is it so bad to look at another person and like what you see? Thats why god made us all different is to be looked at and admired as individuals. We would never find a partner, husband or wife, etc. If we didnt admire or think lustful things such as being attracted to someones body how could we ever find the person we want to spend our lives with? As much as people wany to deny it, its important to be physically attracted to your partner, you cant rely soley on personality, especially because you wouldnt ever meet new people if that were the case. You wouldnt know who you wanted to meet. Its just how god made us and our thought processes, etc. So where i get that you think women need to adhere to other peoples thoughts and likings, i also get that its ridiculous. And i also think its horrible that you think god would want us to deny the very process in which he created merely because someone interpreted the bible as such. And yes the bible we read is interpreted, for starters it was directly interpretes from a different language, secondly, it is all heresay, there is no proof of any if it, and it is all based on what someone said, and peoples words after all come from their own personal interpretations. People think differently about things, people can think they got advice from god when it could have been the devil, there is no way of knowing for sure therefore i think its pretty naive to assume everything in the bible is word for word 100% correct and should be taken exactly as its read. being stuck in your ways and not being able to be open minded doesnt sound like something a god who created vast knowledge and vast surroundings would want you to do. Just something to think about.

  144. Exactly, Yeah thats like saying that in africa where women dont wear tops and sometimes even less, that women need to try and come up with something to wear if the men lust after them,, even though because they are taught that that is normal and that her exposed body is natural and so therefore i dont think those men even really think twice about it, its how they were raiaed. i think the reason americans and religous folk are so against these things and so bothered by and so lustful over everything is that this country represses natural attraction and sexuality. Because of things just like this article. GIVIng people the idea that your body in a pair of pants is causing lustful thoughts and that that is “bad”. Well its not bad, its normal, whats bad is men who dont know how to control their own actions regardless of what someone is wearing.

  145. I thought this piece was for the Onion but the. I realized that it was serious. When are people going to start taking responsibility for themselves instead of acting like they only do something to appease a deity. It’s childish, anti-intellectual and is a sign that you’re incapable of thinking for yourself.

  146. I’m down with your blog post, which is totally your choice, and which I in fact agree with in general – unless I’ve just done an exercise class, I wouldn’t wear them in public either. But this comment is making me angry. Take this argument just one teeny step further and you’re saying that women are responsible for men raping them. I’m not cool with that. Yes we should all be careful to not make each other stumble, but the responsibility for each one’s actions is his or her own. I have trouble with lots of different sinful thoughts sometimes, lust among them, and that is my own issue. It is not caused by what somebody else is wearing. Or say I see an item on a shop front that looks like it would be really easy to steal (I admit this happens to me at times). Is that the shop owner’s fault for making their goods too enticing? No, it’s my heart. It’s about our hearts. (Which is why if it’s on your conscience you ought not do it, and bravo to you).
    If anything, our society-wide problem with lust is a product of our media’s sex obsession but that’s a different story. Suffice to say that if I’m going to blame anyone other than the individual for having lust, it wouldn’t be the lady wearing her yoga pants down the supermarket, it would be the general oversexualisation and objectification of people in general in our society.

  147. yep I’m pretty sure if some guy came up and asked me why I was wearing yoga pants whilst I was doing my shopping or something I would definitely feel embarrassed because I would assume that guy was hitting on me or something. More politeness wouldn’t make any difference.

  148. But, I haven’t not will I say that the woman is responsible for something like that. Lust is one of those extremely slippery slopes, it’s the only sin in the bible that is directly associated with ones own thoughts being linked to the sin.

    And from my perspective, I completly understand why. It’s one of those things that can slip in undetected by the person, what might seem benign and “cute” as scociety now puts it can open the door for it. Note I say can and not does.

    An individual is the only one who is accountable for his actions. And for the overwhelming majority of the time their own thoughts. But the “young” in Christ have not yet been able to build up a defense to what the world throws at them. There are so many things that need to be taken into consideration here that I cant even list them all out without making this post a wall of text.

    Suffice it to say, I am not trying to remove/reallocate/replace the blame on anyone here. All I’m simply trying to do is get the people to start questioning themselves. Things like “why you wear this or that” or “why was something designed this way”

    I remember someone staying that they wear yoga pants because it’s the only thing that doesn’t chaff them. But I question if that were a main purpose for their creation aside from comforttability, why then do not men have the same things? I can garuntee that if you go to any major outdoor and athletic store they won’t carry skin tight everyday workout clothes for men, at least not for the lower section of the body.

    I simply think to many in this era have just accepted what was I front of them for the most part because of the “it’s always been like that” mindset. Or similar attitudes, we as a people and especially we in the US have become fate more apathetic to things than we should be. And it’s this attitude of Apathy which is extremely dangerous to a scociety.

  149. Wow, that’s a wall of text there. I’m not even going to deny I didn’t read all of that. It was just too long and hard to follow because of that and no line breaks for relief of the eyes.

    I’m sure there are things in there that you were trying to point out and discuss but I’m sorry, I just can’t read that and not for lack of trying. I just don’t have the attention span to not get overly bored when attempting to read it.

    So I appologise I will not be able to give you any semblance of a decent response to that so I will not attempt to do so.

  150. Dear – if you are worried about not causing lust in the hearts of men other than your husband (huh?? Lust is always wrong EVEN in the heart of your husband for you), you need to stay indoors because you are a serious hottie, and I guarantee you simply being in public is causing lust in the hearts of men other than your husband. Seriously, dear – get a grip…

  151. Lmao your comments are just about as long,
    you just hit enter after a paragraph, that’s the only difference.

    But good Try with the excuse.

    it’s all good I was emotionally done trying to discuss something with someone who bases their life choices and points off of a book.

    But thanks for calling me boring in a fancy play on words type of way.

    You should be considerate considering your comments were at least 5 paragraphs long and said nothing but personally interpreted things from the bible (talk about boring) Have a nice day,
    I’m gonna go rest in my yoga pants.

    Hope that was enough of a break for your eyes.

    I put two lines in after each sentence just for you.

    Hey now it kind of looks like a poem.

    Now im the fancy one.

  152. Oh look another long comment…
    Oh but you put in spaces ahhhh see.. you just have the rules for everything and no one else does, do they?

    You expect people to agree with you and read your point of view but because i didnt hit enter after every paragraph you openly admit that it was boring and you werent going to finish reading it,
    Nor were you going to reply to any of my points.

    So christ like, of you. To ignore someone because of how their sentence structure is.
    Yeah you surely are a nice, holy, person.

  153. This is sanctimonious crap! Ridiculous! Women should be able to wear what they want. Her husband needs to control himself! This thinking teaches women and girls that we are responsible for keeping men’s sexual thoughts under control. Oh please! They need to learn to keep it in their pants! Take some responsibility for that tent your pitching. If you can’t keep it under control around yoga pants i’d hate to see what happens to this loser at the beach! Stop blaming women for your total lack of self-control! I think I’ll go find my best yoga pants, a push up bra and a low cut fitted tshirt and put it on just to spite this idiot husband and his ridiculous mommy blogger wife!!

  154. Jake, that is immodest. I will be able to see your bulge. Return those sinful, lustful clothes.

  155. God wants you to cover your head. I don’t know why you think just ditching the slutty clingy clothing is enough.

  156. 1. Get over yourself.

    2. All you are doing is perpetuating victim blaming when it comes to sexual harassment/assault. It’s beyond ignorant to put the burden of “what men might think” on women. Should we all just wear burqa’s in order to prevent men from having impure thoughts? There’s a little group called ISIS that would totally agree with your stance on demonizing evil legging – wearing women causing men to lust all over the place.

    3. Seriously, get over yourself.

  157. First of all, I never once said I was ignoring you. I simply stated that the last post of yours that I responded too was the proverbial wall of text. Walls of text and my ADD don’t mix too well and after the fifth attempt at trying to read it and resorting again to just skiming it I gave up.

    Also I see what your trying to do here and I will not play into that. I hope you have a wonderful day.

  158. You obviously don’t get what’s going on Rusty. Personal conviction is a personal right. Do you not value this right? Please don’t be an adult bully, just because we’re out of high school doesn’t mean your comments don’t hurt.

  159. Far as I can tell, only one of your comments was deleted… and see as I don’t own this blog nor have admin priviledges, not really sure why you think I have any power to delete your comments in the first place. I can only assume it was downvoted into oblivion.

  160. You know what else is hurtful? Trying to shame women and demonize them for their clothing choices. My husband spent two years in Iraq with the 3rd ACR. From what he’s told me about Muslim culture and Sharia law, I think you guys would be much more comfortable over there where all the women are in burqas. Here in America, we have the freedom to wear what we want. If you’re looking with “lust”, that’s on you. My husband didn’t only fight for your right to have misguided views, he also fought for women to have the right to wear clothing that isn’t based on YOUR view of modesty. Freedom is a tricky thing – it even applies to people who disagree with you. Shaming and perpetuating the culture of victim blaming shouldn’t have a place in our society, but that’s the price we pay for free speech and religious freedom. I just wish that so-called “Christians” would realize that these freedoms apply to everyone, even evil women who wear leggings. To me, being free means that I, and all women really, do not have to bear the burden of being responsible for men’s thoughts.

  161. Amen!! Thank you for bringing some rational thought to this sanctimonious BS. And you’re absolutely right, her little “disclaimer” at the beginning as the same as someone saying, “No offense, but…” right before they say something offensive.

  162. I am so sorry to hear that you were assaulted, but I am humbled as I read about how you have have taken a horrific experience and used it to help others. Your comments get right to the heart of the truth!! Trey is obviously an ignorant pig who doesn’t feel like he should be responsible for his own sexual thoughts. I, too, was sexually assaulted at a young age and I spent Years believing that I somehow brought it upon myself. Must’ve been those slutty jeans I was wearing, or the sexy Mickey Mouse sweatshirt. Because after all, my rapist couldn’t help himself with all the impure thoughts I was forcing him to think. Sound crazy? According to Veronica: men aren’t responsible for their sexual thoughts. Women are. These sexual thoughts for some men become impulses, and then horrific actions such as harassment, molestation, and rape. The rape culture that Veronica is perpetuating puts a terrible burden on women. In my anger and sadness, I was so glad to read a comment from a fellow woman who REFUSES to carry that burden!!! People take freedom and bodily autonomy for granted until it is ripped away from them. It tears me up when people like Veronica come along and perpetuate a vicious lie that women somehow bring it on themselves via their clothing – CLOTHING of all things. How sad. Thank you for sharing your story and your powerful words. I am truly inspired.

  163. I don’t agree with your view, but I do think it is ultimately your choice and you should be able to do as you like. God bless 🙂

  164. Sorry but you seem to truly believe everyone has alterior motives, i wasnt trying to do anything, nor was i expectig any playing into anything, i simply stated the facts, i mean thats what you keep saying about your stuff, why is my stuff just games to be played and boring long comments.

    I didnt say anything hinting that i was getting at something other than exactly what i said.
    For one, you never said anything about add inititally, you just keep marking about how its a wall of words and that you couldnt keep reading it without being bored.
    Hate to break it to you but thats downright rude to say that.
    i read everyone of your responses no matter how long or how hard it was for me to read because thats what you do when you are having a conversation,
    asking someone to break up their paragraphs To accomodate your add is a much more respectful and christian like way of putting it, and more truthful, if that is indeed the reason.
    But instead you had to make it sound like you had 100% No interest in reading because you didnt like the way it was done and it was boring.

    No one can read minds therefore if you choose to respond to people in conversation and have expectations or requirements of how their sentence structure is for any reason, maybe tell someone that so they dont spend several minutes trying to type out something they give a shit about just for you to not read it.
    Again, its called respect. I respect people even if i dont agree with them and even if i dont know them or have any other reason to other than them being human.

    But as like you i am done. So you have a great day wearing whatever you want because i unlike you, will not be judging or holding you responsible for whatever you choose those clothes to be.

    I am again wearing leggings. As i have every right to and love them and also because i have sensory issues and neuropathy and regular pants cause me horrible pain, but id rather not be in pain than worry about mens thoughts if they even have any.

    Goodbye

  165. I think that yes your statement is correct for a different subjecr, the subject here is not something like yelling at your child in public, its leggings and yoga pants. I think the reason it angers so many people, not that i am angered at all, is because she is saying it is for god, for one, and two, because its hypocritical, she is wearing very tight fitting skinny jeans in one of these pictures, and has nice hair that is attractive, etc. People want to see consistency. Its hard to take someone seriously when they do this.if leggings are as bad they are made out to be in this artile then Its like someone saying i dont do meth because its bad for you so i just do cocaine instead… if you are going to try and assist those who have a hard time refraining from looking at beautiful women lustfully, then go the whole way! Especially if you are going to use the fact that you are doing it for god and christianity.

    Also it angers people because This is saying that men typically are looking at her in said pants, well for starters i am gay, so i can actually speak from the same view as a man on this, we dont look at just anyones butt in leggings or yoga pants. If we dont lile what we see at your face or overall appearance we dont typically look any further. Thats like saying that all these men would check out a preteen if she were in leggings or a 500 pound woman in yoga pants, im not into either of those so i wont look at all. So to be so conceited to think that you are so attractive that men will want to look after looking at your overall appearance, is also vanity. Which is a sin itself. So the whole thing is a little contradicting and makes it hard to take seriously.

    Just my opinion.
    I think his would be something that should be more of a personal journal, if you are going to post your beliefs on the internet you cant expect people to respond in the way you want them to. Even anger, or any other emotion. We are all just human and have feelings.

    Its ok to have feelings, no one (that i have read so far) has threatened her, or lashed out violently. Most of what i see does have anger behind it but still not in a bullying threatening way, just a personally anger filled response.

    And thats ok. The best saying i know of For this situation is that its not your business what other people think of you.
    So everyone just needs to keep doing whatever they want so long as they are not actually physically or pschologically hurting anyone.

    Also i think most of the angry comments are in response, not to her, but to the other people, claiming to be self righteous christians that are in fact saying that other people need to change what they wear because ALL men are lustful after this.

  166. Thank you so much for your kind words in regards ro my comment. I am also deeply sorry that that has happened to you. And agree whole heartedly with what you just said.
    As an example of men who are thought to believe rape is brought on by clothing choices of ourselves,

    One time i was downtown with my best friend, drinking (very little) i lived downtown so i was pretty much right outside my house, and i stumble across my brother and his friend, i was dressed very barely provocative, just nice clothes for going out in, and he says “you need to go home, and change and stay in, what are you trying to get raped?” Then i proceed to tell him that i have been raped before and he knew that, and that his comment was really messed up considering. And he then told me that it was probably my fault because i probably got drunk and dressed like a whore.

    My own brother, all because of stupid crap like this. He was taught this belief from his mormon church.

    So yeah i dont agree with this ladies post nor will i, and nor will i just keep my mouth shut. Because its not just affecting her and her husband, people read these, and they start to think about it, and they have the potential to agree and start thinking the same way and then its a snowball effect of women wearing grey full body onesies and covering their heads and feet constantly otherwise they get raped or molested or lusted over and made to feel violated , etc.

    Its a sad, sad world we live in. In india and egypt women wear outfits revealing their bellies for belly dancing, and thats supposed to be a beautiful thing not a bad thing. Although people do lust after it but they dont make a big deal about that part because making a big deal about when and how people lust over things only gives it power. And with power comes conflict and issues.

  167. Wow, hate to tell you that, but… your husband is real creep. Hard not to watch a woman in leggings? Are you kidding me? What a perv…

  168. I wear leggings to and from the gym as well but like you admitted I don’t think leggings are appropriate in public. I know exactly what you mean about feeling naked while passing people on the street. I can’t picture wearing these to the grocery store but at the gym or around the house they’re fine.

  169. I never said you had to change. The choice is yours. Just don’t act naive with a judgemental tone. And if you really didn’t know, now you do! All guys who still hold their man card minds work this way even when we work really hard not to…..gutter dress begets gutter minds.

  170. I just want to express total support for your outlook here, and admiration for your moral perspective on an issue where everyone else seems to lack one. Please, don’t let these responses change your thinking, which is far superior to that of your critics. People fail to recognize any limits on their behavior, no matter what the consequences for others, at least when it comes to their sexuality. It’s depressing. I suspect the vitriolic response has to do with willful ignorance, a determined refusal to think about what you’re really doing. And it has to do with a total failure of empathy for others.

    The argument that many commenters make, that the reasoning behind your decision justifies rape, is not only absurd, but vile and morally reprehensible. People should be ashamed for saying that. For a long time I didn’t really understand the discourse around these issues, but after some time I’ve realized that most women simply don’t understand the experience of men. And, sadly, it seems that they have no interest in understanding it.

    The reality is that male desire is different from female desire; women can’t understand it just by looking within themselves. Moreover, men are complicit – they are extremely unlikely to be able to honestly convey their experience to you. And even if they do it will be hard to understand. Male desire for sex is experienced as a biological necessity, like hunger. It is extremely powerful and reflexive. Of course we owe civilization to the fact that men control and channel this desire. They suppress it.

    As psychologists have learned, willpower is like a muscle – the more you have to use it, the more tired it gets. Yes, men are capable of resisting temptation. But that doesn’t mean you should inflame it at every turn. Resisting temptation imposes a real psychological cost. You can ignore that cost, and act like it’s not your problem. But that’s not a civilized attitude. That’s not the foundation of a well-functioning society. The reality is that you are imposing a cost on others around you for the sake of nothing but your own vanity (and maybe comfort). Honestly I think that’s why we’re seeing a decline in the performance of boys and men across a number of different areas – this steady drain of focus and self-control caused by the constant presence of women dressed to distract.

    Leggings are skin-tight; they reveal everything. Yes, they cover the skin, but that has next to nothing to do with what men are turned on by. They are turned on by form. To be more graphic – though I’m only describing what I see every single day – they also reveal the physics of your body, similar to if you’re naked. So when you are walking around in just leggings you are walking around naked. Nobody cares if your skin is covered. If you saw a woman walking around on the street in a latex catsuit would you be impressed by her modesty? Moreover, the adorned form is sometimes even more arousing than the unadorned form. It’s novel. So the environment for men now is that large numbers of women are walking around on the streets naked from the waist down. This is unprecedented in a civilized society.

    When you wear them men are thinking of doing vile things to your body. I guarantee it. And all you will experience is the vain excitement of feeling, “hey, men are looking at me!” I find it frustrating and demeaning.

    What some of the comments show is that some women do not understand the difference between attracting attention because you look pretty, and attracting attention because your ass is hanging out. Maybe from the woman’s perspective it feels the same. But I can assure you the effect on the men around you is completely different, in a way you should understand. Maybe the two things are not completely clear in your own mind. There’s something base, inelegant, and uncivilized about getting attention just for revealing your body. You don’t have to do that to be recognized as an attractive woman. Yes, men will sometimes still be turned on just because you have nice hair. But it’s more likely that they are attracted to you as a whole person – not as a body part.

    That’s why it’s stupid to say “I find men in suits attractive, should men stop wearing suits?” That reveals you don’t understand the difference I just described. A man in a suit is practically an emblem of civilization. What you’re talking about is more like if all men walked around in cycling shorts that shrink-wrapped around their junk.

    If you want to show contempt for all the men around you, who are trying to live civilized lives and focus on the higher things, by all means go ahead. Yes, if you ask them they will play it off because they’ve learned that’s what they’re supposed to do. I guarantee that they are staring at your ass every time you turn around (if you’re remotely attractive, that is, otherwise they are merely disgusted). I assure you that I am not unusual; if anything in real life people probably think I’m unusually proper. Men are all the same in their instincts; they only vary in the skill with which they control those instincts.

    So, women, you can continue being willfully ignorant, pretend that male desire is the same as your own, and yell, “it’s not my problem!” But know what you’re really doing – imposing psychological costs on the men around you, contributing to an environment of hyper-sexualization and the objectification of women, and making it harder to maintain a civilized society, for no purpose greater than your own vanity.

  171. interesting discussion. I’m glad it was been initiated and gained so much attention. As a believer myself, in the past, I have had many conversations with friends, male and female, myself on this topic. The interesting thing I’ve found, is many of my non believing friends, who are on the other extreme on the analogous choir boy spectrum, have expressed the view that the sort of clothes that many women wear today, only really serves to trigger one base response, in both male and females and that’s a sexual one whether we like it or not. We at least in the UK and the US, as far as I can see, are hyper sexualised and there is a large degree of spill over into youth culture also, to the point where our children are conditioned to see normalcy in self objectification. Many women, (who have the freedom and right to choose to do so) today, (admittedly much of the time unknowingly) dress to present the most sexually alluring side of themselves, then have a problem with being objectified. Whilst being objectified is always going to be present within society, wearing today’s ubiquitously fashionable leggings, complemented by equally accentuating attire isn’t going to hinder that fact, only help along. I can remember when wearing porn platforms, as my mates and I called them, with leggings just exploded and was everywhere. At the time I can remember the discussions and how we actually laughed and joked about it. There where a lot of attractive women walking about all of a sudden, who essentially you wouldn’t have to sleep with to have an extremely good idea of exactly what they had on offer front and back! The expression camel toe springs to mind amongst other things which aren’t in my opinion healthy or productive to dwell on. The fact that as an unsaved person who with his unsaved friends along with millions of other men (and women for that matter) I took full advantage of a new, more extreme version of window shopping, should do something to wake women up to how they no we are being played on a daily basis (different rant). I mean, to a degree when we discussed this sort of thing amoungst ourselves, there was absolutely no respect and in hindsight, we blatantly ridiculed women who either where unaware of what they were wearing (or in this case not wearing) and or the fact they were doing it for attention, or just following the herd like mindless lemmings. This isn’t just the opinion of men either. This is also the opinion of several women I know, and attractive ones at that, who have the ‘statistics’ to take full advantage of a legging or two.
    Just the other day, I was in my car about to pull off and a very attractive young woman, in full seduction fashion mode walked by. I looked away and ignored her and stared to pull out. I looked back in her general direction as that was the direction I was heading in, and caught he looking back at me with a slightly quizzical look on her face like – what is it? Don’t I do it for you or something? It was obviously some crazy need for validation!
    Look women, as a man of the modern age I accept your choice of dress and have no right to dictate what you wear, (the media and fashion industries already do that) but as a man I by no means have to respect your choice. Oh and by the way more men and women than you may be aware of don’t, respect it, they just accept it. Rant over!

  172. You are furthering rape culture with this nonsensical argument. It is not YOUR responsibility to make sure men uphold to (your) moral standard. That is theirs. This is the same as saying a woman deserves to be raped because men couldn’t control themselves. Shame on you for being such a poor example to your daughter.

  173. There’s a difference between looking tastefully attractive and dressing in a way that blatantly will elicit a sexual response in men. When a woman wears leggings and its all on show, they may as well not wearing anything from the waist down, in fact, it’s probably more sexually enticing than not wearing anything from the waist down in many cases.

  174. Er, no its not. How in the world have you made that jump? That’s an insane statement. How is it wrong for someone to dress modestly. I know what will make it better, lets all dress like prostitutes on crack and teach our children to do so this will somehow undermine rape culture. The statement I’ve just made is almost as absurd as the one you’ve posted.The article is absolutely nothing to do with rape culture. You’ve totally missed the point and shown yourself up in the process. That is unless you were responding to fracking saves’ comment of course, which you’d have to be silly to bother with.

  175. All I have to say is as a man, any other man that can’t control his thoughts because a woman is wearing leggings (versus something as form fitting as modern jeans) is a freaking dog. If that’s the case, better shut off the TV and make sure that music from the past 50 years isn’t playing either or else he might get excited.

  176. Last Rant. People either just don’t get it or enjoy lying to themselves. Probably the latter is more common. The happily married woman Veronica in her profile pic yes looks attractive. I might even go as far as to say I would like to marry a woman as attractive as her one day, but there is absolutely no sexual thought brought to the fore by how she is presenting herself. There is a modesty in her presentation at the same time as her natural beauty. If it was a picture of her, with leggings on, her midriff showing, with some cleavage to boot, I couldn’t say that. Yes there are those given over to a reprobate mind, who will be aroused at virtually anything, but there is also the natural neurological response a man has, when confronted with someones cleavage, full leg form, crotch, belly and posterior on show. I’m sorry you don’t have to entertain any unseemly thoughts, but its just a reality that in the vast majority of men (and some women) having it rammed in your face, will definitely form some sort of sexual attraction on some some levels. To dress in such a way is just self serving. Sexual responses are not the same as finding someone attractive, or pleasing to the eye, this is the base id response attempted to being triggered. A primal sexual response. Yes we must take our thoughts captive, but why would a person want to seduce another man with her choice of dress when she is already married by wearing something akin to what was described above. Oh and please no-one say its for comfort. You’re lying. Attention, self worth, control, manipulation or lack of cognizance.

  177. I love what you said here, ” I also want to set the best example of how to dress for my daughter.”

    I fully agree with you. I am always cognizant of the fact that my daughter looks to me for fashion advice. I remember always thinking how beautiful my own mother was growing up as a child and wanting to emulate her and be like her. I can only hope that my daughter (currently a precocious toddler!) will look up to me in that same way. And I do agree that it is important to dress in the same way you would want a child to dress. We like to be in fashion and my children are usually dressed from head to toe but always modest. Always. A friend of mine had a good laugh because I was given clothes for my daughter and there were loads of shorts in there for her (size 2) and I chose to pass those along to someone else because I just felt that they were too short for MY daughter. Another mother probably wouldn’t have minded but we always tend to wear capri’s instead of shorts. I just think that at my age and also at my daughter’s young age, that they are the better choice. I applaud you for baring your soul and convictions and it is too bad that people can’t appreciate different points of view.

  178. Yes I do get it. I’ve been there. I’ve seen family members, friends, and even myself do exactly similar things to what your wife is putting out there. You think its a personal conviction but its not, not when you post it to the whole world to see. People read these type of articles and start to feel guilty over trivial things in their lives. I’ve seen friends and even more closely my brother who became clinically depressed over trivial religious don’t dos. Things that any non-God believing person would be baffled by that someone could be depressed over.
    If it’s something that’s truly bothering your wife then good for her, I just spent to much of my life in church watching women compete in trivial righteousness. My personal opinion is that it did more harm than good. I’m not asking you to agree, I’m just trying to show the other side of these types of things.

  179. Veronica, 😉 Just Keep Swimming… pay no attention to the “haters” 😉 x good luck and praise God for your testimony! 🙂 x

  180. This sounds like the lifestyle of women who wear Islamic covering in public who only dress sexily for their husband. Is that what you really want?

  181. I was wearing a very long loose fitting sweater the other day and a pair of thick leggins. My sweater came down well below my rear end just above my knees. While I was looking at something on the shelf at the store, I felt someone tugging upwards on the bottom of my sweater. I turned around and there was a creepy man that “apparently just couldn’t control himself.” Was it my fault for the way I dressed. NO!! I could tell many stories of inappropriate behavior by men in my 50 years of life. These men need to be called out for their behavior. Men will always look no matter what and many men will over step boundaries and act inappropriate with their words and actions. It happens to women who where burqas. It’s time that we stop staying silent about the inappropriate behavior of men and keep the blame where it lies. Stop making excuses for these men by making statements that insinuate that they somehow just can’t “control” themselves or their actions. Call them out when they are wrong. Teach them. By the way, there are women that act inappropriate towards men as well. Women look too! Do we have conversations about how men should/could dress to avoid this?

  182. As a Christian woman, I’m actually embarrassed by what you are saying. It is not our responsibility to moderate other’s lustful thoughts. All this article is doing is making you sound ignorant, and extremist. I’m a Christian, I love Christ, and if I had the body for it, I would wear leggings (in fact I did in the 80’s and 90’s, and at a *gasp* CHRISTIAN school!!!), and not feel a bit of guilt. God made our bodies this way. God himself!! Nowhere in the Bible does it say how we should dress. You are responsible for your own actions, so if you dress yourself trying to be provocative, then you should be concerned. Also, you are a *hair* away from saying if a woman dresses showing off her body, then it’s OK for men to rape them. Also, it’s going towards the radical Islamic beliefs that you should cover your body, because it’s YOUR fault if a man sees you sexually. Which is ignorant.

  183. I agree with her! The purpose of a legging was created to keep a person warm and to wear as part of their undergarments. Modesty has such a negative tone to most people, when it shouldn’t. There are some people, the Duggar family for example, that take modesty to an extreme in some opinions. Being modest doesn’t mean that you must be covered from head to toe and show zero skin or wear frumpy clothing. I am a young, married Christian woman and my husband is not a Christian. I still dress modestly, as he should be the only one seeing my body in a certain way. Yes, if I am running or working out, I tend to wear leggings or yoga pants, but that is the only time. If I choose to wear leggings out, I also choose a long enough shirt to cover my behind. If some women choose to wear tight yoga pants or leggings as actual pants, that’s their right. However, some women, like myself and Veronica, choose to live more modestly to please our husbands and our God. Why is it such an issue? We aren’t judging those wearers of leggings, so why judge her/us for choosing not to? Because she voiced her reasoning?

  184. well Veronica, you and your ideals are the reason I quit going to church twenty years ago. Men who can’t control themselves, and blame women. And even worse, women who find this acceptable. I always believed that the Christian school I attended would have been far happier if the girls wore burkas. Of course the boys could always wear anything they chose. Sorry you are so brainwashed.

  185. Who said our goal is to look attractive at all? And regardless what about the gym. Thats the main place you see yoga pants and leggings because they were designed for exercising. So all those people have to start getting chaffing and tangled up in baggy pants while doing yoga or running? Or running slower and with more resitance because their clothes arent snug against them? All because you cannot control where your eyes go? Or what you think about people? I have said this before to someone as ignorant and naive as you, but its exactly the same as you seeing someone who is ugly and thinking certain things about how ugly you think they are, and blaming them that you thought those things and expecting them to change the way they look so you dont have to think those negative things.
    Also as i said im gay so if i can refrain from staring at a womens ass in leggings then so can you and all these other men. And if you cant then you have a problem with your sexuality and disrespect. but even then, its not bad to look at someones body, and be attracted to it in any way. If you act on that thats different. The only way thinking lustfully about someone would be bad is if your thoughts were of raping her, in which case thats your mental issue. No one elses fault but your own.
    And again, you cant say tastefully attractive because everyones opinion of what is tastefully attractive is different.

    Men can be turned on even more by a pair of tall boots, or heels, or a dress, or makeup and hair done a certain way, some guys are even turned on simply by the hair color of a person.

    Which is why since we cannot carry around a wardrobe and read minds of everyone we pass and have a little changing room or the ability to be a chameleon and change to fit our scenery, it then becomes the responsibility of the man to mind his own self or accept that people get attracted to other people physically.
    Not even marriage prevents this, because god made us to be attracted to the opposite sex. And thats the bottom line. Women need to stop getting freaked out about their husbands or boyfriends finding other women attractive, because thats absurd. Thats like saying all the other women he found attractive before he started dating you somehow just became ugly to him.

    Its ok to look, its ok to admire a persons beauty. If you think anything beyond that then you have a perverted mind.

    As i also said that if a pair of pants can determine whether or not you think sexually about that person, then you must be a pedophile because their are a ton of little girls even toddlers ans preteens and teenagers that wear leggings and ypga pants. I know my little girls do, because they are comfortable for them because they are toddlers and have to be strapped in a sitting position most of the time and wearing jeans can be pretty uncomfortable especially for little baby skin.

    So how is it that you can refrain from thinking sexually about your daughter or sister or mother or aunt, etc while they wear skinny jeans or leggings or yoga pants but you cant seem to refrain yourself from doing it to random other people? Thats because its a choice, you are making the choice yourself, there are plenty of men that dont stare at women in yoga pants or leggings, men that are in control of themselves and dont have raging sexual frustration and respect issues.

    God im done on this subject, some people are just such idiots and naive sexually repressed fools. You and your comment are the reason people are getting angry.

    This lady is not saying what you are saying, she is not saying other people need to do this, she is not saying that anyone else that does his is wrong or commiting sins or forcing men to stare at everyone who wears a certain type of pants, but you are.

    And that is wrong. Stop blaming women and their clothing for your lack of self control.

    The end.

  186. I seriously don’t understand. Every pair of pants I own are form fitting around my backside, every single pair. I have leggings and yoga pants and suit pants and jeans and everything in between, the major difference from type to type is the fabric and the bagginess around the lower part of my legs. Why would pants that are tight to my ankles cause more harm than pants that are loose? Are ankles a thing, again? Does the vision of a woman in slacks inspire as much lust as yoga pants, which are roughly the same shape? Are we advocating for women not to wear pants at all?

    The fact of the matter is that what we look like is NOT what inspires lust in men. Men lust over women who are perceived to be sexy, who are confident in what they wear regardless of what they are wearing. A woman can be sexy in a burka if she is showing confidence. So if the argument is that women should not be confident, then I’d say you’re a victim of abuse. That guilt you’re feeling? It’s not coming from the holy spirit. That jeering that men do towards a woman? That’s NOT because of what you’re wearing, it’s because men have been taught that they have a right to the female body, all of them, regardless of your wishes. Changing your clothing won’t change men looking. Don’t change your clothing or censor yourself, fight against the culture that is telling men they’re allowed to be rapists if you look a certain way.

  187. When will men take responsibility for their objectification of women! If he lusts after a woman because of what she is wearing, then that’s his problem not hers. Keep eyes in head, hands to yourself and pants zipped. Get a grip and hold those who are or may be miscreants accountable. Veronica, you and every woman should feel free to wear Yoga pants. And if it ain’t easy for your husband not to leer, notice I did not say look b/c there is a difference, then he needs some self-discipline and control. He isn’t 16 and shouldn’t act as if he is. If he just looks….not a problem…looking at a woman, not leering is OK. Look but do NOT touch.

  188. “I will say this from my perspective as a young and single man.”

    That’s where to you got it wrong. You see, you got it wrong by commenting. Your opinion as a “young and single man” on whether or not women should wear leggings is so grossly misogynistic because you are not a woman.

    You talk about a cop out of women with what they wear? What a bout a cop out by men, who can’t respect women, regardless of what they wear. Men who belittle women about showing their skin, when men are allowed to have their nipples exposed in public, god forbid a woman’s bra strap be shown. Yes, women have boobies and legs. Its no secret.

    Have you even ever thought, as the young and single man that you are, to show modesty for what you wear? Before you go out to, I don’t know, bible study, do you look at your t shirts and say to yourself, “gee I think the fabric is too clingy, I wouldn’t want to tempt my sisters and brothers in Christ.”

    I doubt it, but even if you are, let women of the church handle this.

    Even that reeks of misogyny in all honesty.

  189. Disclaimer: let me just say I am in no way saying people cannot believe or do what they want, I am simply saying this: if you like leggings, feel great in them and you are doing it for yourself, not men, then who the fuck cares if other men look. also if you are guy and you look, it’s ok, you appreciate the female form. It’s not okay when you sexually objectify every girl though. But whatever you religious people miss out on it if you think it’s what gets you into heaven, you’re just being ridiculous.

  190. Wow. Not sure why there is so much controversy. Kudos to you ma’am. She simply is trying not to put a stumbling block in front of others. More importantly. … I think it’s awesome that she only wants jet husband to see her form. We live in a society where we put everything on public display (even her decision being one of them). It’s nice to see sometime reserving more for that one. Kudos.

  191. You didn’t even address anything she said. What about these double standards? Why can men wear fitted tees but women can’t wear tight skirts? Why do women get judged for wearing bikinis at the pool but men are completely shirtless? Church events require one pieces for girls, but guys can have their chest completely bare, why is that? Shouldn’t EVERYONE be responsible for everyone’s temptations? Or are you going to just make assumptions about me too, and ignore these very valid questions?

  192. Oh so you are a towel head! Just admit that you’re a terrorist, Abu F. Derka, admit you’re a terrorist like you’d admit being a pickle smooching felcher to your terror cell master before you start licking his hairy ass up in the the sandy hills of Fagstasticstan.

    GITMO Rocks! I’d put you in an Isolation chamber & blast Deicide all day long. You’d cry like a little girl & hand over the location of your terror cell. While butch women piss on your face you scream your mother is a whore.

  193. I’d be embarrassed because I chose comfort over style. So yeah, it’s because they’re comfortable.

  194. Hilarious! Men are “hard-wired” to notice attractive women. We can no more “stop noticing” than women can “stop menstruating”. It’s a completely normal fact of our biological nature. If you don’t believe in science – then God made men to be visual. Either way it’s perfectly natural and normal. Get over it.

  195. They deleted a couple of my comments, too. Gotta love that “Christian” tolerance. They don’t want debate or discussion, just an echo chamber.

  196. Perhaps this is getting so much publicity because it puts the pressure on the woman to dress in a way not to tempt men. The responsibility is on her and not on men. Of course, responsibility falls on men to be respectful. A woman who chooses to dress for comfort, be it leggings or shorts and tank tops, shouldn’t have to carry the burden of being responsible should a man lust over them. That’s victim blaming and can lead to some cases where people find it legitimate to say, “She was asking for it. Did you see what she was wearing?” That argument has gotten many men off the hook on sexual assault charges. I’ve heard so many stories of women being afraid to come forward or finding that coming forward to report rape is worse than the rape itself because they are interrogated over how they acted and what they were wearing. They end up humiliated, traumatized and often the one in trouble for the mans “lustful thoughts.” It’s time we put the responsibility off of things like clothing and “women’s choices” and onto the men making the choices. If you get in trouble for driving recklessly you are less likely to drive recklessly…ergo if you get in trouble for raping someone (man to woman, woman to man, man to man or woman to woman and any other combination) you will be less likely to rape someone. Instead we call men emasculating names for being raped and blame woman for being who they are. Also, this I think, is linked to this topic: enforcing a dress code which puts an extra burden on how a woman looks over how a man looks takes away from who they are and more on their pleasantness. This has shown a prevalence to give an educational advantage to men in the long run. We don’t see many female engineers, not because they aren’t intelligent, but because they are trained to take a backseat to her male counterpart from a young age. I’ll leave it at that because to go much further into my opinions may be too much for people to handle…baby steps. I will note, I actually have a sensory disorder which makes less-restrictive clothing like leggings a godsend. Jeans can be painful but a thick pair of leggings with leg warmers for the winter save me from a whole day of being unable to concentrate on anything other than when I can get home and change. If it’s unbecoming for me to be comfortable because you “might” have the wrong kind of thoughts then perhaps we need to desensitize people with the human form. This isn’t the era where pantaloons are risque any more.

  197. Any man who thinks he’s in the minds of women when they put on glorified sweatpants is ridiculously self absorbed.

  198. I only want to respond to the first and third point, as you said this is your last intervention I will try to respect that and make this the least likely to elicit response. I didn’t mean to imply that saying something stupid will make nobody want you, rather I think that there are all kinds of people who find all kinds of things attractive. Generally speaking, if someone says something arrogant and stupid I lose attraction to them personally. I’m allowed to be attracted to personality traits and not attracted to other personality traits. I just don’t think it’s very hot to write or say “I’m smoking hot”, but I’d be way interested in a girl who said “I know some people find me attractive, others don’t, and the ones whose opinions matter to me usually do.”
    Now, why should my opinion matter? Well, you just said “I’m smoking hot” implying that every man in the world would think so. I don’t think that’s necessarily true, nor do I believe that it’s helpful believing that.
    The men were still looking and attributing women more sexy even in the research. This proved the other guys point. Also, arousing a man doesn’t mean you’re obligated to comply with his sexual advances. This is still defining sex and women’s bodies on mens terms. That’s not fair to women.

  199. So am I to believe, Nic, that your thoughts are so out of your control that women are responsible for keeping your thoughts “clean”? Whatever clean means?

  200. I like how you’ve recognized the problem with seeing men as weak, helpless, and incapable and rectified it with the idea that wearing leggings is your choice and mens lustful thoughts are their own. I just wonder, then, what the problem with parading around naked if it isn’t for the protection of men’s thought? Yes, in our current social setting it is unfortunately unsafe for a woman to be naked in many situations. However, nakedness in itself doesn’t seem to be wrong in any way so why should leggings be?

  201. Yeah…I noticed it too. Countless posts went POOF last night. Veronica has the right to put her opinion about leggings out into the public sphere, but DARE we disagree with her opinion. I watched post after post being deleted last night (even the ones that weren’t offensive or bullyish – yes there were a few that needed to be deleted for sure). But after seeing that mostly only the glowing ones left….well…that kinda made me have a whole different opinion about what is going on here. If differing opinions are being deleted and only glowing ones filled with praise are being left…what does that say about her character? If you are going to put your opinion out there on a public blog, an opinion that might be controversial…than at least have the balls to stand up for your opinion! In fact, not only did she not stand up for her opinion – her husband was the one who seemed to be deleting the comments, moderating and engaging people in the comment section which seems – ODD – like she got upset, crawled into a hole and begged him to come to her rescue. Wait? Did he write that blog entry? Why is HE moderating? Deleting comments (the vulgar ones needed to be deleted – I get that) but deleting the ones that were just in strong disagreement…. seems…I don’t know….disingenuous, hypocritical and just plain wrong. Where is your backbone? Stand up for your convictions! They are yours. OWN them if you believe in them! Still, I am still not sure why she felt the need for this blog post. I feel most people would just say to themselves….” Ok…I no longer feel comfortable in the eyes of God wearing these leggings, so I am going to honor him and not wear them anymore” and be done with it. Even though she says she is not trying to impose her thoughts and opinions about wearing leggings onto us, I get the feeling she IS. It is as if she is saying, in a passive aggressive sort of way, “I AM BETTER AND MORE CHRISTIAN THAN YOU ARE BECAUSE….”, and that she is judging everything single woman who continues to wear leggings out in public, and God forbid, around her dear husband. I don’t know…just got that feeling even more so after I thought about it. I’m sure Veronica is a lovely person. I TRULY do get that impression from her blog and from her Instagram photos, but I also think she is still young, and has some growing up to do (don’t we all?). I have to admit that I rolled my eyes a bit when I read the article, but I also admit that there is a part of me that feels a bit sad for her because after reading all her entrees I get the feeling that there is something deep inside that hurts her emotionally. I also sense that there has been a little bit of brainwashing going on regarding the whole clothing issue. I saw the pictures of her in leggings….and as far as I could see – never did she look immodest in anything she is pictured in. Everything was in perfect taste – even the way she wore her leggings. She has impeccable taste and is a cross between classy and bohemian – not immodest at all. Beautiful girl, and it’s not going to matter what she has on her body, men are going to do a double take at her beauty whether she’s in leggings or a church dress. I don’t know Veronica from Adam, but I truly hope that she figures it all out and that she can one day just be genuine and happy…and that she can be who she wants to be in the eyes in of her husband, her adorable baby girl, and in the eyes of the God she believes in.

  202. Leggings don’t elicit a “sexual” response for everyone. Apparently they do for you, but not everyone feels as you do. For example, my husband prefers me in a pair of tight wranglers over leggings any day.

    Does this mean we need to ban wranglers? I better call the PRCA and make sure no one is wearing them at the next rodeo so my husband doesn’t “stumble” and leave me for another cowgirl. When we go to rodeos and other livestock related events, almost everyone is wearing tight wranglers. Even the men!! Never mind that these jeans serve a functional purpose (much like yoga pants and leggings for exercise and comfort). They are evil and lust-inducing! Get ready for burqa barrel racing and bull riding in giant baggy overalls. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? Well, that’s what happens when you go down this road of shaming and censorship.

    We live in a free country where religious views should have no bearing on what we can or cannot wear. Sexuality and attraction are relative to the individual which is why I have such an issue with Veronica’s blog post. Not to mention her ridiculous notion that women are responsible for men’s thoughts. Instead of being insecure and worrying about what every other woman is wearing, I have enough confidence in myself and my relationship that I TRUST my husband to be able to withstand the visual assault of legging-clad women and still come home to me. And he loves and respects me enough to let me wear what I choose. If my wranglers are viewed as sexual by someone that is THEIR problem. I refuse to censor myself and walk around in a gunny sack because of someone else’s warped view of modesty. Women don’t deserve that burden and unnecessary guilt, no matter what they’re wearing. If you can’t control your eyes, that’s no one else’s problem but your own.

  203. I didn’t adress anything she said because she stated nothing worthy of responding to with anything other than what I responded with.

    But if you want to play that game of double standards and picking apart something said till the meaning isn’t anywhere close to intended fine. I’ll bite

    What about the double standards that when a woman cries rape it’s imediately assumed the guy was or is guilty? Why is it even in situations as such should the man be proven innocent he his still treated as if he were guilty?

    Why does a police officer doing his job having to discharge his weapon in the line of duty and having been proven innocent still get called a murderer despite all the evidence stating it was self defense?

    For your questions regarding swimwear, I personaly for health reasons think it stupid for that much skin to be exposed. And the typical resulting sunburn from the exposure makes things rather unpleasant.

    But women have a choice in different swimwear, what about men? Why do we only get to choose between shorts or a speedo?

    You claim that I am going to make assumptions about you. But you didn’t preface your entire post with an attack to me because I’m a man. That is why she did not deserve a response other than what I gave.

  204. I am in total agreement with you, Rusty. Yes, vulgar/inappropriate comments should be deleted of course. However, sending in your husband to finish a debate that you started in kind of sad. She put it out there for and obviously couldn’t handle people disagreeing with her view. And her husband was using the word “bully” pretty loosely. A dissenting comment on a blog isn’t bullying. We have children and teens committing suicide after being teased and taunted without mercy for race, sexual orientation, etc.; THAT is bullying! I digress.

    I also agree with the whole passive aggressive angle. “I’m not saying what people should wear, but…look at me! I’m a better Christian than you!” At first I was extremely annoyed and my eyes were rolling to the back of my head at the arrogance of this woman. But I’m beginning to think that her post came out of a deep sense of insecurity, which is unfortunate. She is so worried about what her husband might see or think when he sees an attractive woman. It really made me appreciate the secure and trusting relationship I have with my husband. Hopefully with age and maturity (I’m saying this as a 32 year old woman who has grown a lot since 24) she will learn to trust. At my age, I am very aware that there are always younger, prettier and thinner women out there. But I TRUST my husband and I know that he loves me even though my body isn’t perfect. I hope she comes to that place in her relationship.

    My issue lies in the fact that impressionable young women will read this and feel guilty about their bodies

  205. Nope your job is to be virtuous as much as you want the other person to be virtuous. Or you can choose to
    “act” naive and hope the other person “acts” naive as well…. man the teens in here are abundant……. “Mom why can’t I wear a bikini? It’s just not fair!!! Not all guys think like that!!! I’m not doing it for attention, I’m doing it for me!!! Can’t you see it makes me feel good about myself!!! But mom!!!” ……. what a bunch of teens!

  206. Go do a pool of 100 men and have a girl walk past them wearing these clothes and watch where their eyes go. Then ask them to be honest and say what came to their minds as she walked by….. yes people sex sales, and the makers of these clothes knew exactly what they were doing! And so do most people in sales. And so do most acting naive girls. It’s to get the attention of others at what ever the cost.

  207. Please stop with this nonsense that leggings were only designed to draw attention so men could look at women. You do not know what you are talking about. I don’t care how many times you repeat it, you are simply inaccurate. I am a fashion designer and that is not at all why leggings were first designed. Leggings have been worn since men and women first began designing and wearing clothing. They were mostly used for warmth in the beginning, but then they became fashionable and useful for other reasons – even modesty. Yes…look it up if you don’t believe me. Leggings and yoga pants of our time are designed primarily to be used for exercising and sports. It is much easier to exercise, use gym equipment in something more form fitting than it is in something loose that can get caught on something or provide wind resistance. Why do you think football players wear such tight fitting, legging like pants. Are they trying to be sexy? Are they trying to show off their butts? Well…maybe some of them…but I digress. Yes, leggings have crossed over into every day wear for some woman for all sorts of reason. Some women do want to show off their assets, others simply want to be comfortable. Some wear long tunics with them, some don’t. Some ladies just want to keep up with the current fashion. Babies to elderly ladies wear them, and I highly doubt that the older ladies are wearing them to be sexy and attract a man’s attention. I have a feeling that those ladies are choosing them for comfort!

  208. If that were true then answer this. Why isn’t the same made for men? As I have stated before, in every major outdoors and sports retailer you would be hard pressed to find the same things sold for men.

    No the true underlining reason is for the direction of attention. If you are a fashion designer then you would know the theory that what attracts the most attention for clothing is the allure of nakedness. The body is far more attention getting when clothed than when not.

    As far as football players, are you referring to american football? Or what the rest of the world calls football? If american then that is simple. There are pads located in the pants for the protection of those areas which are most prime for contact.

    The science behind that is that like bullet reseating vests the more snug they are to the body the more shock they will absorb and leave the individual taking less direct kenetic energy from the force. That’s just simple science of safety.

  209. Men are responsible for their own thoughts and actions. NO ONE “makes” them do or think anything. If parents would raise their sons to be respectful that would be a good start in the right direction. If parents would have open and honest conversations with their male and female children from the time they are young about issues of respect and sexuality then that would be a good step in the right direction.

    Not wearing leggings? omg just stop It is this kind of ‘blame the victim’ stuff I can’t stand when women say things like this.

    What you wear has NOTHING to do with anything. If a man can’t “control” himself that is on him 100% and not because of anything any woman did.

    This is 2015 and I can’t believe stuff like this is still being talked about. Please. Stop.

  210. Look, if this is how you want to dress fine….I take issue though with the idea that is is a woman’s responsibility to dress according to a man’s lustfull desires. Men must control themselves, and until we as a society start to drive that message home victim blaming and slut shaming will continue.

  211. Woah, woah, wait a second. We are talking about gender dynamics in clothing, NOT the police. What does that have to do with this? Seriously, that’s how far out you’ve got to go to fill your apparent word count? The rape situation has nothing to do with this either, but I’ll tell you that you have obviously never been a woman reporting a rape. no worries, pal, women don’t get off that easy. In fact, the pressure to retract is so great, that many cases go unreported. So you can celebrate on that one. Anyway, if your biggest argument is that we get more choices in swimwear than you, then feel free to design a new one for men. I guarantee you won’t be called a slut and accused of making women sin. But that’s not what we’re talking about, is it? We aren’t talking about wardrobe options, we’re talking about the judgment we get from the choices we making in clothing, as well as the blame we get for other people’s minds. But I see you have nothing to say on the actual topic at hand, since you still haven’t addressed the actual questions. Do you have a response, or do you want to bring up cops and rape in a thread that has nothing to do with either of those again?

  212. It doesn’t sound like that at all. Islamic women aren’t given a choice first of all, further, they aren’t counted as equals to men.

    This women is making her own choice out of humility to God and yes, God does say that women shouldn’t act as temptresses.

  213. I completely agree with you. But also it’s not just leggings and yoga pants. How are tight/skinny jeans any better? Not to say that you need to look like a bag lady, but I suggest medium to long skirts. They’re not form-fitting or “sensual”, yet they’re still flattering, elegant, and pretty.

  214. so sad (and not a little bit angry) reading all of these comments by women who see it as their right to dress however they choose, whatever the consequences to others. i have three boys who genuinely desire to not only keep their thoughts and minds pure, but to view and treat women with respects as equals, or at least that’s how i am raising them. despite their best intentions, the world is a mine field of unnecessary temptations. is it their responsibility to control their minds? absolutely! but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t support their efforts.

    think of someone trying to be a healthy eater. is it their responsibility to make good choices? yep, but that doesn’t mean we should throw candy bars at them night and night. why can’t we choose not exercise some of our freedom in support of others?

  215. She can do whatever her heart feels is right. I do admit that no matter how a woman dresses, any lustful thoughts I have are my problem and not hers. I am responsible to God for any sin in my heart. But I appreciate her recognizing that there are men who struggle with lust and at the same time do not want that to be in their heart. God bless her.

  216. She should ONLY dress sexy for her husband. To dress sexy for anyone else, is wrong. To wear something revealing that she knows attracts other men to look at her body, is a sin…period

  217. If you dress in something considered revealing, with the purpose in mind to attract men to look at your body, then when it comes to God, the problem is YOURS as well. God demands modesty Carol.

  218. Nope. There’s men who like booties and men who like legs, and both are turned on by them. Show me a swimsuit that doesn’t show or highlight either.

  219. A lot of men feel that any woman with unusual or extreme piercings, such as the nose, is showing that she does not respect her own body and is more likely to be “loose” or promiscuous. Are you not comfortable with your body the way God made it?

  220. I always wonder if women like you genuinely feel led to post this kind of tripe or if it’s nothing more than a desperate ploy to get more blog traffic.

  221. No matter what anyone says in these comments. If you have been convicted in your heart about this legging thing, then it is a sin not to act on your conviction.

    Rom 14:12 So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.

    Rom 14:14 I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean.

    Rom 14:22 The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.

  222. Interesting, I wonder if you could convince any Christians of that? I don’t mean to indict all Christians, but most I have talked with are absolutists, what they view as wrong is wrong, period. And if someone disagrees that person is deceived, despite Rom 14:14.

  223. Um, when did I say I was wearing something revealing? I’m current in a shirt (Not tight fitting) and trackpants.

    When I’m going to exercise, I wear Yoga pants. I honestly do not, nor have I ever gotten up and said “self, what can I wear today that will attract unwanted attention.”

    Maybe that’s how YOU think.

  224. I really appreciate what you wrote. Thank you for loving your brother’s in Christ this way. Whether people look at you and lust is not up to you. Whether you invite it or not by what you wear (or in any other way) is between you and God and clearly you are following what the Spirit is telling you. As a man who has struggled with sexual addiction I am grateful that you are being faithful to follow what God is laying on your heart.

  225. Or might it be both? Respect for yourself AND respect for those around you?

    Think of St Paul who said: “Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.” – 1 Corinthians 8:13

    I agree with you that “the blame is on me”, but what about that verse that says “woe to those who lead others to stumble”?

    I think it’s possible to look at an attractive person and think “wow, they are attractive” and looking at that same person, dressed in a revealing manner, and so your thoughts turn to something a bit more sexual. The author of the post IS attractive. I think she would invite “unwanted attraction” by walking around in “skin tight clothing”.

    With leggings, you’re basically walking around in nylons, which are meant to be (nylons) an “under garment” of sorts. While nylons are meant to make your legs look nice, you wouldn’t walk around in nylons with your butt uncovered, would you?

  226. I love what you are saying. I agree 100%. As I get older and older, the convictions keep coming and this is one of them. I don’t doubt for one moment that the Lord is the one planting those convictions. I dress more and more modest. I don’t even have a figure that other men even gawk at, but it’s not about that for me. It’s about my self respect…for me. I like myself more these days. My husband appreciates it as well.

  227. I am a male who owns a athletic store. Yoga pants and leggings might as well be candy. I will be the first to admit thats it’s a trend just as much as a “necessity” for working out in comfort. I don’t care what you look like in them, I only care whether you buy them. Men buy them for their wives hoping that this will inspire them work out. Heavy set women buy them hoping it will inspire themselves to work out or to jump on the trend wagon with everyone else. Again, I don’t care as long as they are selling. One man will look to the right and see the athletic woman wearing them and likes what he sees. He will then look to the left and and see an overweight, non athletic woman wearing the same pants and will not like what he sees so then he looks back to the right. Women are vain. So are men. Men have lustful minds. So do women. I wear skinny jeans. They are the trend now and my tush looks great in them. Trust me the girls notice. So do the men. I’m vain so I wear clothes that show off the body I work hard to keep in shape. Why wear baggy clothes and hide what i have? Plus I love the attention. I love how i look in my clothes and I like how people look at me. I’m vain. It’s all vanity. So tear my comment to pieces. The fact: I make so much money off womens fitness clothes.

  228. Veronica you are a pretty girl but also very naïve in my opinion. You preach that you don’t want other guys to look at you in a lustful way and the best way to make them stop is to not wear leggings? Why stop there. You should also never wear a swim suit in public, a shirt that will show the shape of your bust, or even shorts that show your legs. Make sure you cover your face because us guys like girls with cute faces. It’s just not realistic. It is the same logic people use to with gun control. The guns are not the problem the people are. So although I believe you are trying to solve a problem here you really aren’t for many reasons. I do think you mean well but to me it is a little ridiculous. Also, as small nit on this whole subject. God views everyone’s body as his temple. You on one hand are trying to prevent lust because lust is wrong but on the other hand you have a nose ring which to me is like defacing the temple of God. Tattoos, piercings, etc. are all sins in the eyes of God. The Old Testament law commanded the Israelites, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:28). So to say you want to help lustful men by not wearing legging while you yourself are changing the way your body looks with a piercing is kind of hypocritical. If you are going to make these types of posts you should at least practice what you preach. Often times the biggest offenders to God are those that are “seemingly” closest. I don’t mean this in a mean way but it is just my two cents and advice.

    With that said, I just wonder if you have a Tattoo also. I bet you do.

  229. It’s amazing at how many so-called “tolerant” people have literally ignored the disclaimer, in bold nonetheless, and let their cat claws out. Wow.

    I see so many “forward thinking progressives” go way out of their way to defend Muslim woman who follow Sharia Law- covering their faces- many who want to force ALL woman to conform, and those same liberal woman will snipe at this strong, independent mother and wife? Sad…and hypocritical.

    For those woman who say “celebrating their sexuality” is part of God’s plan, they need to get their Bible out and read it again. Sexuality is a gift from God for a husband and wife to experience.

    Moral relativism has leaked into the church and built up a wall between us and God- I have struggled with this my whole life. But when we live out our lives, seeking to be holy and pleasing to Him- God will bless us in ways we can’t imagine. Again, I have failed miserably. But when I give God an inch, He gives me a mile…

    God bless!

  230. It goes to show how deep some believe in God.
    Sounds like some believe in a different god one who fits there life style truly one can derive what ever one wants from the bible.
    When we read the words of God we should pay attention to detail and study.
    In my aproch I must remember who I’m praying to and learning about a king , God of all creation.
    We are to be set apart from the world ,meaning not seen as others, we will be judged by others and be full of joy whenever this happends.
    Let’s not be a stumbling block for others.
    Do we love our selfs more or God.
    If any one wants to chat about what God teaches I’m always here.
    I’m open for All debates.
    It’s written he did not come to save the world but his lost sheep who heare his voice. also he did not come to bring peace to the world but a sword (word) , he only promised peace within between him and those who heare him. Any one who blames or points a finger is of the devil only he accuses.
    My God died for me and says sin (meaning, without teachings; the word of God) no More , meaning read n study.

    Me I’m at dmwebste67@live .com God bless

  231. Thank you, Veronica, for finally standing up and saying it. As a woman, I am so sick of seeing these yoga pants and leggings worn by women running all over the grocery store — it’s like they left the house and forgot to put the rest of their clothes on. Though I truly can’t see the whole “lustful” part, because I really wonder what is sexy about a woman displaying every ripple, sag, and bit of cellulite on her backside. Ugh. Leggings were not meant to be worn that way. They were simply created as a “thicker” type of stockings, and yoga pants were created for workouts. Period. Not to be worn running around town. And if you study fashions from generations past, women looked far sexier in clothing that wasn’t so form fitting and revealing — such as a cute skirt or even trouser pants — and merely showed an hour-glass figure rather than a practically naked body.

  232. Ah, so here the truth is revealed: you’re a sex addict. So virtually anything a woman does is going to turn you on and tempt you to give in to that addiction. Yoga pants at the supermarket are the least of your problems, buddy.

    I also urge you to STOP approaching women in public to ask them why they’re wearing tight pants. Their facial expressions are not that of shame, but are most likely a mix of fear and embarrassment. You are freaking them out, not inspiring them to seek God’s will for their wardrobes. You are going to get kicked in the blessed man-berries one day if you don’t knock it off.

    One more thing: the vast majority of women wearing yoga pants or leggings in public are tired moms who have absolutely no interest in garnering a man’s attention. And most of them no longer even have a figure to flaunt and would be horrified that a creepy security guard was ogling their Target-clad mombutts.

  233. Men are going to look no matter what, however I do agree because its also how you present yourself and come across. I recently had the same thoughts about form fitting yoga pants. To each their own. Everyone always has something negative to say.

  234. God bless you and your husband for stepping forward and doing what you feel is right for you to do to honor God and to follow heart convictions. For those haters, nobody said you had to follow suit, so maybe you could be supportive instead of destructive.

  235. Thank you for taking this stand. I never understood why women would wear things like this and then complain that they are objectified. (Not saying that you ever said that personally).

  236. I wouldn’t worry about it love. That men may see you sexually is not your fault or to do with what you wear. If a woman walks around naked she doesn’t deserve unwarranted advances. Our intellects should be robust enough to be able to stand a woman in a pair of leggings without drooling like a moron.

    I’ve been on beaches and been able to hold conversations with ladies in bikinis or even naked. Because girls are there does not mean they are automatically lust objects or you have to cover up – that’s a Victorian mentality and really unhealthy.

    Ladies, wear what you like that makes you comfortable – if men have issues they are their issues, not yours. There is altogether too much victim blaming where women are concerned in our society, largely because it’s patriarchal.

  237. As a yoga instructor, yoga pants are my uniform. They are comfortable to practice yoga because they are form fitting and you don’t get hung up in them as you would a pair of sweats. Frankly, if men can’t stop looking, then it really is their own problem, not mine. As I have been with my husband for 23 years, it has not been damaging to our relationship for me to wear leggings and yoga pants. I am fit, healthy, and strong and am not ashamed of my body. I certainly don’t want my daughter growing up to be ashmed of her body either. There is nothing shameful about the human form. It is shame that prompts perversion of natural inclination. It is self-control that keeps a man in check. Sounds like many may need to learn some of that.

  238. Two points to ponder:
    1) When Marilyn Monroe pulled the white dress/air vent stunt, even New Yorkers (as jaded as they are) were disgusted by her vulgarity. That was only 50 years ago.
    2) The movie “Pretty Woman” featured Julia Roberts as a heroine who was a professional prostitute. Her standard of dress throughout most of that movie was MORE CONSERVATIVE than the majority of women who walk the streets today. Think about that for a second; modern women (many Christians included), dress in a more revealing manner than a woman who is advertising sex for sale. What is somebody really advertising when they wear “plunging” necklines and skin-tight clothing? Obviously modesty.
    I know, I know, I’m just being a prude. Yoga pants are just like when somebody wears a name like “pink” across the butt of their sweatpants, nobody is supposed to notice the letters because they are decoration… If the perverts hadn’t been looking at the person’s butt in the first place, they wouldn’t have noticed the word “pink” in giant letters across the rear end.
    It’s like billboard advertising, it’s the perverted motorist’s fault that they saw the billboard picture while minding their own business driving. It couldn’t have been the advertiser trying to get their attention with some flash (or in this case, flesh).
    Prudish Puritan.

  239. Why isn’t the it the same for men? I have no idea…you will have to take a poll. Maybe men don’t find them comfortable, attractive, fashionable? Maybe they don’t like things close fitting garments. Maybe it’s a point of modesty? Same thing could be asked about dresses. Why don’t men wear dresses? Why don’t men with large breasts wear bras? And so on. Women like leggings for various reasons and they happen to be in fashion at the moment, just like they have been in fashion in prior years. There is simply nothing wrong with wearing leggings if you choose to do so. NOTHING. And shaming someone who wears them is wrong no matter how you slice it. It is wrong and a sin to judge. I wear them to the gym, I wear them during the winter – always with a long tunic, sweater or dress covering my bum, and tucked into boots for warmth because that’s how I prefer to wear them, but if I see a woman who wears them differently, say with a shorter top, or with heels – who am I to judge. I’ve seen more risque things worn to church than a pair of leggings, and I’ve never found it my place to judge ANYONE on their fashion choices.

  240. My only problem is that this places blame on women, instead of placing responsibility on men. That said, I see no reason to go out of the way to wear tight clothes in public. Men are gonna look regardless of what we are wearing..

  241. Um, you all do know that she’s not saying YOU ALL should do this, just that she chooses not to do it. Why do women think that if someone says I don’t want to do that anymore, they think that means everyone??? Grow up already!! Stop acting like children. REalize this ISN’T FOR YOU!!! It’s for her.

  242. Congratulations, Veronica – and I don’t think you need that disclaimer. Thanks for sharing your convictions here. I like the way Oswald Chambers describes it in My Utmost – in the January 11th post – “If we obey God, it is going to cost other people more than it costs us, and that is where the pain begins.” He goes on to say – “If we obey God, it will mean that other people’s plans are upset. They
    will ridicule us as if to say, “You call this Christianity?” We could
    prevent the suffering, but not if we are obedient to God. We must let
    the cost be paid.”

    All you’ve done here is “upset other people’s plans” because they don’t want to deal with the truth about what they may be causing.

    Stay with your convictions and walk it out, girl!

  243. lololololol “yeah, when I walk into a place and there are women wearing yoga pants everywhere, it’s hard to not look. I don’t, but it’s not easy.” my favorite part.

  244. You’re placing responsibility for male thoughts on women’s shoulders. To expect women to dress a certain way to comply with your ability or inability to control your thoughts is naive.

  245. If you are doing this because of the Christian aspect of it…you might want to remove your nose ring piercing as well. God doesn’t frown upon jewelry, but using it to overly decorate yourself to draw attention is considered a sin according to a few scriptures in the Bible. People look at your face everyday, and I’m pretty sure that nose rings stands out to everyone. He also apparently frowns upon braiding your hair, so you might want to think about that too.

  246. i am a guy. it is my responsibility where i look. not yours. i do not stare at a woman’s butt if i don’t know beforehand she wants me to. i would not want to live in a world where women feel compelled to wear something for my benefit – one way (“make them watch!”) or the other (“oh, the poor things can’t restrain themselves – better make it easier on them by wearing potatoe sacks!”). imagine for a moment, i don’t know, getting horny because the juicy worker on the construction site down the street takes his shirt of in the heat – do you really think that’s his “problem”? no. it’s yours alone.

    if you are uncomfortable wearing something that shows people your curves – that’s fine. i, for example, feel uncomfortable wearing a shirt that’s not buttoned up all the way (i feel somehow naked if my collarbones show).

    but all the discourse about “not provoking men” gets on my nerves. it implies that i am a childish creature and a possible harasser at the same time – and, what’s worse, it implies that both those traits are somehow “male” – until all those guys wanting to be extra-male take this role-offer seriously. i don’t want that.

  247. it is exactly the same thing. there is just another standard engraved in our culture over hundreds of years.

  248. please: out of interest: could you be so kind as to post one or two examples for someone who at the same time “want to force all woman to conform [to covering their faces, i presume]” and “snipe” at modest christian women’s clothes? it is such a direct contradiction…

  249. I completely agree. Is this train of thought that allows radical societies to justify the stoning of women, not allowing girls educations, and the taping of women with impunity. Wear what you feel best in, but modesty is an attitude, and one that men need to learn as well.

  250. I love your heart. You are awesome, and I’m so glad I’m not the only person who feels this way. Btw, I asked my husband if it’s difficult for him not to look. He looked at me funny and said “of course not, and I don’t expect anyone checks me out in my bike gear, either. ” I think I’ll keep him

  251. Way to contribute to rape culture. While you say you aren’t judging others, you are blatantly making women responsible for the virtue of men. Wear whatever you want, that’s absolutely your choice. However, I defy you to find 10 women you personally know who objectify men who are wearing tight clothes or are even shirtless. Why? Because we don’t see men as sex objects. Wouldn’t it be better to teach men not to see women as sex objects than to hold women responsible for what men CHOOSE to think? And news flash. If a man says it’s really hard to not, but he doesn’t… he’s totally looking. A truly virtuous man sees females as daughters of God, not valued on what they wear.

  252. This is a much needed discussion point. I am a man, married to a wife I adore beyond words. She is my everything and all I want or desire. I say all that because even as a Christian married man, I receive great temptation to allow my gaze to stay when women are around in this type of clothing. I have no lustful thoughts, I do not take memory or any sinful thought…but it is on that borderline. As stated in the original article, I would not infer to push my convictions on another unless it is welcomed. I just think women should be aware, you ARE being looked at. Whether in respectful appreciation for God’s creation or sinful lustful staring. Men are just as human and women are generally the greatest temptation for a fall…welcomed, intentional, unexpected, planned or otherwise.
    My point? Simply that women need to understand that if they dress in a way that you imagine might catch a man’s eyes…you are catching man’s eyes. Whether YOU planned to or not. Just know how you are being looked at in general. If you are happy with all of this and have no issues or concerns, so be it. But for those who have not given it much thought…now you know. (This seems to be a very well agreed upon perspective; given the majority of other comments)

  253. Oh please. Gutter dress does not beget gutter minds. A person with a gutter mind is solely responsible for their own thoughts. Maybe when you see a girl who is dressed immodest – maybe your mind goes into the gutter, but there are plenty of men whose minds think otherwise. My husband has commented on girls at the mall who were dressed immodest. He doesn’t see them in a sexual way if he even notices them in the first place. He looks at them with pity, as if those girls don’t know any better, not with eyes of lust. You just can generalize that all men think the same. They don’t.

  254. This must be a PNW thing, in addition to a Christian thing. I live in the urban core of a big Southwestern city where people are extremely active — lots of runners, cyclists, yoga practitioners, and triathletes in training. Leggings, yoga pants, and running togs (capris, shorts) — as well as sports bras and tank tops — are commonplace, reflecting a culture that is active, fit and makes exercise a part of daily life. A serious number of people run or bicycle to get where they are going. Yes, even to work and back. Leggings and yoga pants are pretty much like part of a uniform. So this is a strange discussion for me to see taking place. Leggings? Really? I guess I didn’t know the argument over the appropriateness of leggings was still a thing. Or ever a thing.

    Okay, am off for a run now, in my old, faded, pilled, lust-making sports capris. 🙂

  255. Then why make that statement at all? Why put it out on a blog? If she feels this way, which is her God-given right, why didn’t she just make her decision quietly and cease to wear leggings. The fact that she put it out on a blog with a disclaimer makes it seem preachy, and as if she is shaming others for not following her lead. It’s a passive aggressive sort of thing. “You can wear what you want….but I am better than you and this is why” sort of thing.

  256. I recently commented in another site and read in a recent article that led me to this blog;
    Dress or Appearance is all about how you represent yourself. What do you want people to think? Wearing What I Want When I Want [WIWWIW was recently stated as; “If I want to walk naked it shouldn’t matter”] is to disregard how one is viewed by others. Dressing to honor God is an awesome thing! Dressing to NOT be a stumbling block to others is equally awesome as you are putting others first, godly virtue!
    I think you made an awesome decision and support your freedom to do it! My wife recently asked to consider the same thing at the lake or beach, about what I Wea! Not that I am doing anything remotely extreme, but to be a good example to my daughters and others of dressing conservatively.
    Much of womens and girls clothing today seems to be all about sexualizing and I believe it is belittling to women; Its as if it was wrong to NOT show flesh or promote sexuality. It is truly, I believe the inner qualities which are important, and consequently, WIWWIW is not appealing.
    Go Girl!

  257. Next you could lobby to have year book photos photoshopped to cover up shoulders like they do in Happy Valley Utah

  258. “why I chose to no longer wear yoga pants or leggings in public.”
    That’s good news for (male) me – yoga pants and leggings put me off. Hair falling on shoulders at the other hand …..

  259. The important thing I think we’re all missing here is that it isn’t a woman’s job to take responsibility for a man’s thoughts.

  260. It’s not fair to hold girls responsible for the fact that men find them attractive in the clothes they are wearing, though. And, yes, sex sells, but men aren’t the ones buying the yoga pants…so there’s that…

  261. People aren’t taking issue with her choice not to wear leggings. If someone is uncomfortable wearing something then they should stop wearing it. They are taking issue with the reason why she’s doing it which, in my opinion, endorses a culture where women are forced to take responsibility for the actions or thoughts of men. Everybody is responsible for their own actions women and men both. Besides, she wouldn’t have posted this article if she didn’t want people to comment on it and have healthy debates…I don’t see anything particularly immature about that.

  262. Women shouldn’t be objectified for any reason. Men go running or to the beach without shirts on, but you don’t see people arguing that they should be objectified because they do that. There is no excuse for objectification and it in unacceptable to place the blame back on the person being objectified. How about you blame the people doing the objectification?

  263. Wow, women might as well run around naked because apparently it’s all men’s fault… Why can’t you women understand that us men are asking for your help? Thankfully my wife has made the decision to dress modest, and in doing that has shown far more selflessness than most women here. Her strength has encouraged me to be a more respectful man in so many ways! So, bottom line is, I’m not stoning my wife, she’s not wearing a burka, and she’s still looks beautiful! She is way more CLASSY than anyone else in my opinion, and she doesn’t have to show off her goods to look better than you hypocritical “Christian” women! Respect yourself!!

  264. Thanks, Veronica, and thanks, too, for the truthfulness of your husband. You have wisdom beyond your years, and a strong sense of spiritual responsibility to back it up. Pay no attention to the cranks. At the risk of sounding judgmental, they are probably voyeurs, anyway. There is no substitute for the example and influence that a godly woman can have. You can be sure that you have provoked a lot of people to deeper thought.

  265. It is obvious from reading the couple comments you have posted, that you do need to change your attitude. The comments have been mean spirited and divisive from the start. What you wear can cause others to sin (in mind or body) and it IS on you, if you wear leggings knowing that it can cause a man at your gym to look with lust, it’s not just on him. If you know it can cause your brother (if you’re a Christian) to stumble, but you wear it anyway..You sin, as well as him.

  266. Very well said, Pheonix! Also very interesting and eye-opening perspective regarding attraction. If you are able to control where your eyes go and refrain from staring at a woman in leggings, why can we not expect the same from men? You take personal responsibility regardless of what a woman is wearing, which is EXACTLY what these so-called Christian men should be doing as well!

  267. So, being Christian means that you cannot appreciate the beauty of the female body as God supposedly designed it?

  268. Veronica, it is refreshing when any woman has her eyes opened and she begins to understand the powers and feelings God put into man and woman for the purpose of fulfilling the responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth. The powers of sexual attraction are so often misunderstood. Men are inherently visual creatures. The media figured that out a long time ago and they have made billions of dollars exploiting this knowledge at the expense of the daughters of God.

    Like the old spiderman saying goes, “with great power comes great responsibility”. As sons and daughters of God, we have been given the power of procreation. To facilitate that power, we have been blessed with strong attractions, passions and appetites. Used within a committed and loving relationship, they allow a man and woman to strengthen a spiritual commitment in a physical way. Bridling these gifts outside of a committed relationship shows God that we put his will above our own.

    As a man that hopes to return to God with honor, I appreciate women who dress in a modest way and show that they understand the male mind. And this is a two way street. As men, we need to remember that each woman in this world is a daughter of God with divine potential. They are daughters of a king. They need to be cherished for the virtues they possess AND know that the man in their life is committed to a spiritual commitment before a physical one.

    I am saddened when I go out in public and see some of the immodest clothing girls and women wear today. It is like crack cocaine to the young boys and men because their very natures are visual. I wish women would demand more of the men in our society. And to all of the girls and women who are dressing modestly, my hat goes off to you and I believe God will reward you generously for doing all you can to help his sons learn to control these powerful feelings and emotions.

    There is more at stake here than just worrying about what we feel good in or what is convenient.

  269. I couldn’t agree more, Designer! What kind of creep goes up to women and asks them why they’re wearing tight pants? Mace and CCW permits were invented for people like this guy. He’s using “religion” as a license to act like a total perv. And yes, if he doesn’t lay off of that type of disgusting behavior he’s gonna get kicked in the man – berries or worse — and rightfully so! Sickening.

  270. I was thinking about this more tonight — I’m pregnant with my millionth baby right now, and am living in yoga pants (when you flip up the band, voila — maternity pants!). If they’re too tight, it’s because my butt is getting bigger, not because I’m trying to arouse all the weirdos with a preggo fetish. If someone actually approached me in public about the sinfulness of my pants, I would silently die inside.

  271. Even if you go swimming in an ankle-length, high-necked, flannel nightgown, you’re still at risk of turning on all the guys with a foot fetish. There is no winning here, ladies!

  272. Personally I agree with the author, and you can’t get mad at her because in the beginning she said that she wasn’t saying that people had to stop wearing leggings, it was her own personal choice. Yeah men are going to look at you no matter what you wear, but why encourage any inappropriate thoughts? The way we dress does affect how we are viewed, it is a proven scientific fact. I believe the way you dress can determine how other people view you. And let’s face it, there isn’t much that leggings cover up. They are good for exercising and wearing under skirts, but otherwise it isn’t the most modest thing you could wear. Sure your comfortable in them, but can’t you be equally comfortable in a good pair of jeans? Again it just comes down to your own personal choice. I have chosen not to wear leggings in public, but I LOVE to wear them in my house in privacy. Someone else may choose differently, and that’s okay because we all make decisions on our own, I’m just explaining why I have made this decision and why we can’t get mad at others for sharing their own opinions. We may disagree over a few things, but that doesn’t mean we need to fight about it.

  273. First of all, congratulations, mama 🙂 Secondly, this post just shot down everyone who is on here crowing about how we evil women wear these pants as a means to entice and seduce our male counterparts. Pregnancy is the PERFECT example of wearing these pants for functionality and comfort! Well done!

  274. You’re a Jehovah’s Witness aren’t you. I heard through an x-Witness that your leading Elders recently told their congregation not to wear leggings anymore at one of the recent Assemblies. How sad that you are being brainwashed in this terrible cult. I would admonish you to get out of it before it does any more damage on your cognitive abilities. Their entire interpretation of the Bible is based on the statement that God has to vindicate His sovereignty, an idea that has absolutely zero evidence in the Bible.

    Get out while you can and never look back Veronica Partridge. I beg you.

  275. I have a relative who grew up in the Jehovah’s Witness congregation and that’s exactly how they made her feel.

  276. To see a woman in terms of parts to be avoided seems to objectify her as much as seeing her as part to be exploited.

  277. I understand that some people might find your choice odd or funny.
    However, my husband’s friends have a “yoga pants code” at work — to
    “alert” each other if a cute/hot woman has on yoga pants. I don’t give
    him any crap about it, but you make a lot of good points I didn’t think
    of.
    I respect everyone’s opinion but I find it odd that some women
    are getting upset by your choice. When they say they can wear whatever
    they want and it’s the men who should learn to “just control
    themselves,” it seems unfair to me. NOT saying men should allow their
    base instincts to go into overdrive, but come on, it’s human nature to
    look and fantasize to a point.
    Salem, Oregon

  278. “Go do a pool of 100 men and have a girl walk past them wearing these clothes and watch where their eyes go.”

    Lets get real, unless your 100 men are guilt ridden about sex/sexuality, or dead, when you have a shapely girl walk past them wearing pretty much anything other than a big old bag, their eyes go too the same places.

  279. Perhaps narrow minded and on the narrow road is a better way of describing her thinking. The Word says to be transformed by the word of God and not to conform to the world. Where in Scripture does it teach you to “celebrate” your sexuality in public? Paul says if my brother is grieved over my meat I will never eat meat again. That is an excellent motive. Being thoughtful, watchful and esteeming others better than yourself is the way of life for believers. What you wrote is all about “me, myself and I”.

  280. Not wearing yoga pants because you will make men think lustful thoughts is like saying girls shouldn’t wear skirts because they wil get raped. Why should women have to cover up or restrict what they wear so that a man doesn’t look. Its like teaching women not to get raped rather than teaching men not to rape (I know women can rape as well but its just an example). We shouldn’t have to restrict ourselves and our clothes because some men dont know how to control themselves.

  281. I can see your husband is kind, and sensors his thoughts for you as well as himself (as best he can) like any god following man. I didn’t say all guys act on their thoughts, most of us good ones push out the thought as fast as we can but still they come to “all” guys. We even say this to help push the thoughts out like that poor girl needs some guidance. Some even ask their wife to look when they notice their wife saw them looking- Before the could come out of autopilot. And say things like this due to being embarrassed but yes even you awesome guy thinks this way. It’s called the “natural”man for a reason in holy script.

  282. Agreed! All guys are wired with a thought pattern. and wearing leggings only increases the odds of where our thoughts go….really I am not being sarcastic. I loved your post.

  283. Yes S. Hollinger, I have heard the saying before that “it is us guys are at fault for the way girls are dressing these days” – we tend to give attention more to the girls that dress this way and in return more girls start to dress this way! I was told by church leaders that we as guys would be better to not go after girls that dress this way! We as men need to help them become better at choosing a more modest attire…..I kind of agree with them but it is getting harder and harder to fined girls that has the same interest as I do or rather did in the dating scene that dress modestly. A lot of them seemed overly churchy and it was hard to find common interest among them but when I did you’re darn tootin I held on to that girl and married her because she was one of a kind in this area! so as I was just stating earlier in a post we are our best when both genders work at our modesty.

  284. I’ll admit I am NOT the best texting person or a writer. I think you missed what I was trying to say well, lol rather I know you miss what I was trying to say because it wasn’t how you put it! let’s try it this way I expect a girl to be modest and in return I will do my best to be modest in my thoughts and if she chooses not to be modest I will still do my darndest to try and keep modest thoughts with the hope of one day that she comes around to knowing how hard it is to be a virtuous guy in this time and age. and at the same time ask my son to not go for girls that dress that way for his own good and hers and by my son doing this, maybe other girls, that might be attracted to my son, maybe they will have their attire in a more elegant manner seeing as he never gives the girls that dress that way any attention.

  285. Thank you for sharing your convictions. I have been dressing modestly since 2010. I don’t understand why people are so mad about this! If you desire to honor God and your husband in your dress- DO IT!

  286. LookinGlass, that is rather twisted. If I do things to provoke sin, yes, that is my fault because God will have known that was the intention of my heart. What I wear when I take care of the body God gave me is not provoking sin. I have no control of what others think, only they do. If all they feel is lust, they have a problem. What should I wear to the beach, a burka?
    What should athletes wear in competition, sweats? Yoga pants while doing yoga aren’t provocative, they are the proper attire for that activity, the same way that wearing leggings isn’t provocative. Most girls who wear leggings wear absolutely loose clothes that cover their torso, hips, and most of their legs. One must be looking for a reason to lust after another woman if they claim leggings are a temptation. And if the girl were fat and had an esthetically unpleasant body shape? Would they still lust after her? The problem is in the minds of those who try to shift blame for their own thoughts.

  287. This is so true. Such matters usually become a hot bed of discussion and arguments. There are two and only two rules that all human beings have to abide with. The first are the rules made by the Creator and the second are man made rules. All matters related to life and how to lead, what’s right and what’s wrong, what;s good or what’s bad for human beings is decided by the Creator. So, we have nothing to argue about those rules. On the other hand, man made rules such as traffic rules, rules and regulations for various matters for peace and harmony in the society are framed by human beings and are followed differently in different parts of the world.

    As regards the above decision taken by Veronica is very much true and morally abiding. Every Religion has a dress code but the followers have made their own decisions what’s right or wrong. In Islam the dress code for males and females is as follows:

    Within the definition of ‘awrah (modesty) for men and women,
    all the four basic requirements for dress code are:

    1. THE FIRST REQUIREMENT:
    Extent of covering: The dress must cover the whole body except for
    the areas specifically exempted.

    2- THE SECOND REQUIREMENT: LOOSENESS: The dress must be loose enough
    so as not to describe the shape of a woman’s body.

    3- THE THIRD REQUIREMENT: THICKNESS The dress should
    be thick enough so as not to show the color of the skin it covers, or the shape
    of the body which it is supposed to hide.

    4- THE FOURTH REQUIREMENT: Overall Appearance: The
    dress should not be such that it attracts men’s attention to the woman’s
    beauty.

    5. ADDITIONAL REQUIREMENTS

    The three other additional requirements discussed under the
    Muslim woman’s code of dress apply to men’s clothes as well:

    1. They should not be similar to what is known as the female
    dress.

    2. They should not be similar to what could be identified as
    the dress of unbelievers.

    3. They should not be clothes of fame, pride, and vanity.

    When the creator has defined as above what’s good for human beings, we ought to abide by his rules.

    Hats off Veronica for your decision at a time when there’s so much disregard for good values in the Society.

  288. I think Paul’s (in fact it’s the Spirit of the most high God) wisdom to the Corinthians regarding food applies beautifully here.

    And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble. 1 Corinthians 8:11-13

    Lust is primarily a man’s issue, thus Jesus says things like “if a MAN looks lustfully at another woman…”. Modesty, however, is primarily a women’s issue. This is why Paul and Peter both specifically refer to women when talking about modesty. This doesn’t mean, however, that women don’t struggle with lust and that men don’t need to be modest as well. Whatever the issue is, whether it be eating certain kinds of food, drinking alcohol, what you wear, or anything else, if you know it causes a brother or sister to stumble and you do it anyways, you sin against Christ. If the people commenting on this blog are truly Christian, then the Christ-like thing to do is be the mature believer and wear modest clothing as a way of loving your brothers and sisters in Christ and ultimately, as a way to serve and honor Christ, who died for you. The Bible is our authority.

  289. Interesting blog post, Veronica, but where do you draw the line? I’ve read fairly extensively in the history of fashion, and I know that some men in whatever era, have made crude jokes and lustful comments about ladies, no matter how much of themselves they were covering up. Like in this crude cartoon from the early 1800’s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Strechit_ca1800-1810_non-sidesaddle_sailor_caricature.jpg) in which a man makes rude comments about a lady because she dared to ride the horse astride, instead of using a side-saddle. Or have you read this poem from the 1600’s (http://www.bartleby.com/40/211.html)? All Robert Herrick needs to make him feel wanton is just for the woman to forget to tie her shoelace, or neglect the cuffs of her sleeves a little. If we did go backward and all women started being careful of the tightness of their pants, these same kinds of men would just sexualize something else. You’d have men talking about whose denim skirts showed ankle, or, gasp, maybe a glimpse of knee once in a while, and so on. I remember a friend I had in girlhood, whose home church split over whether a girl could wear culottes, or whether those were too close to (offensive, sexy) shorts. You’re never going to stop men being dirty-minded by changing how YOU dress. Why not instead model a focus on doing good more, and worrying about your clothes less?

  290. Carol S is my hero! Men MUST take responsibility for their own actions…period. Not all men are wired to look at every woman that walks past in leggings, short skirts, tank tops or otherwise…and I am talking about straight men. When you put God first, things just sort of work themselves out. God first, my wife second…that simple. There is only room in my heart for one woman.

  291. “I am in NO WAY trying to tell people what they can and cannot wear. What you wear is entirely your own choice.” – Except the author presents her opinion, in a preachy manner, on a public blog as if it is the only correct choice. If she is so concerned about “honoring her husband” by not wearing leggings, then shouldn’t her husband honor her by not leering at other women? Why doesn’t she write a blog imploring men to wear shirts at the beach to prevent lustful thoughts in women? Why is it that only women are shamed for their bodies? Adam and Eve only covered themselves with tree leaves and it was considered modest.

  292. We all have differences of opinion. The truth is the bible specifically teaches us to be modest. Either we follow the whole bible or we do not.

    1 Peter 3: 3 – 4 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

    1 Timothy 2: 8-10 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

    Aside from the countless references in the bible about women’s modesty and discretion, can anyone admit that tight leggings with a short top is just tacky? It is more challenging for women to find awesome, stylish attire. But it is out there. I admit that I cringe when I see both women and girls wear leggings with short tops at church.

    If you are clubbing, tight, revealing clothing is to be expected (for some). But must women wear leggings for every occasion?

    My challenge to our daughters……be original, do not be followers, express yourselves with the bible as your guide.

  293. So if the Bible says that only men struggle with lust (not women), then does that mean that women are free to act on lustful urges provoked by mens’ appearance? The Bible says “if a man looks lustfully at another woman” – thereby placing blame squarely on the man for looking (not controlling himself.) Clearly it is not the woman’s fault if a man looks at her, unless we expect women to wear burqas or be invisible.

  294. You should warn the author that her long hair is causing you lustful, impure thoughts. Maybe she’ll shave her head.

  295. As an athlete who wears athletic gear in public, I will continue to wear leggings. The author can kiss it if she thinks any of us athletes are whores, immodest or causing men to “stumble.”

  296. I’m sure your wife has lustful thoughts about men, too. Will you agree to wear a burlap bag so that no other woman casts her impure gaze upon you?

  297. Absolutely not. It is primarily something men struggle with more than women but that does not mean women are exempt. Neither are men exempt from the command to dress modestly. The person who looks with lust is 100% responsible for their sin, however as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 8 and Romans 14, and Jesus says in Mark 9, if you assist in causing someone to stumble, you are held accountable as well. Ezekiel 33 also speaks of how God will hold people accountable for not doing their part to help others not to sin.

  298. As a Christian, we must make every attempt to avoid lustful thoughts toward women who are not our wives. Whenever I, a man, have “appreciated” the female body, it is lust. Lust is sinful and Christians are not immune from sin, but we are forgiven. Even so, we don’t want to return to that sinful nature. Look, a woman wearing skin-tight clothing invites men to look, imagine, and causes him to lust after her. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not the woman’s fault that men respond in this way. It’s part of the way we’ve been since sin entered the world, but that’s an entirely different conversation. I applaud Veronica for her decision and I believe other Christian women should make similar conscious decisions. My wife has. My daughter has. They dress conservatively. That is to say that they do not dress suggestively, in the least!

  299. Good, modest Christians would probably go clubbing. But if someone chooses to wear leggings and short tops, aren’t there places that are more appropriate for that attire….than church?

  300. Good, modest Christians would probably not go clubbing. When someone chooses to wear leggings with a short top, aren’t there more appropriate places to wear that attire than church?

  301. “in every major outdoors and sports retailer you would be hard pressed to find the same things sold for men.”
    Apparently you haven’t tried to find them, since they’re in every single running section in every single sporting goods store in America.

  302. I honestly think he tried wearing leggings once and got made fun of by someone so now he’s mad that we can wear them but he feels silly when he tries.

  303. I see mix concepts here, I respect her decision of not wearing something, we all have the right to chose what we wear! But why does she make it public? Now many men are looking at her, so this was definitely not the way. God create us all and make us beautiful so there’s nothing wrong with god’s creation and with appreciate his beautiful work! men and women are responsible of their acts, and they can control their thoughts, temptations are always there, remember the tree of knowledge of good and evil? Are they both going to hide from the world so nobody will think they are attractive?

  304. “The conversation was about leggings and how when women wear them it
    creates a stronger attraction for a man to look at a woman’s body and
    may cause them to think lustful thoughts. ”

    Complete crap – men think lustful thoughts because they choose to cultivate lustful feelings – it’s somewhat nature, somewhat ignorant misogyny – it has nothing to do with your legs. You think way too much of yourself.

    As far as your jesus crap, you’re just using a public love for jesus to get attention – which, actually, contrary to your claims, makes you an attention whore.

    Good luck with that.

  305. I want to applaud you for standing up to your convictions. If only more Christian girls & women would be conscious of how we dress can be a stumbling block for other Christian men. The women and men each have to answer to God – whether we women made it easier for men to stumble and look lustfully at their fellow sister in Christ, and the men whether or not they resisted the temptation to look.
    I can’t control what other women wear, and my hubby will have to resist the constant temptation to look at other women, but I have in my power to dress accordingly as to not make it easy for a fellow brother in Christ to get drawn to look at me lustfully!
    I don’t expect non-Christians to understand the spirit in which come from when sharing my thoughts this.
    John Bevere has an awesome dramatized version of the story of Affabel ( you can find it on youtube) that illustrates wonderfully the point of how our actions can affect someone else’s life for good or bad.

  306. This girl is smarter than this…..“yeah, when I walk into a place and there are women wearing yoga pants everywhere, it’s hard to not look. I try not to, but it’s not easy.”..Even my husband and son think is funny. This girl knows better…She would never be objectifying women like that. No way she thinks we dress for man, because she knows we are more than sex. We are strong, we have brains, we do things for us, and what is good for us. We don’t dress to get attention from man, and we don’t need their approval. We dress the way we want to dress because we feel good about who we are! Any smart “girl and boy” knows that….I am sure she meant this article to be a joke…;)

  307. It seems to me that many people who profess to be Christian are so obsessed with rising above the sin of “lust” they seem to commit another of the seven deadly sins; i.e., pride, which has been called the sin from which all others arise.

    Also, I notice so many comments concern the wrongness of having lustful thoughts about someone other than their wife, which seem to indicate that lustful thoughts towards a wife is okay.

    That seems to say it is wrong to objectify any woman, unless you are married to her, then it is acceptable. Kind of like:

    “I’m not into that one night thing, you know? I think a person should get to know someone and even be in love with them before you use and degrade them.”

    Steve Martin

  308. I have no shame in staring at girls in yoga pants or leggings. I’ve even been known to secretly snap photos to show to my boyfriend, who also appreciates those things.

    I totally love and appreciate a good looking body, male or female.. and if someone is wearing clothes that let me see that in a more defined state, then all the better!

    But, I also don’t feel like.. insulted or shamed because someone else decided on their own, for their own choices, to not wear that kind of clothes.. unless they start telling me that I’m bad for wearing them. That’s when I say, Mind your own! If it doesn’t affect me personally, do whatever you want.

    I still believe that “God” (or whatever, whoever.. if there’s anyone) loves me.

  309. Girls lust. Some girls may even lust after girls. It’s great that she’s conscious of what could hurt a person.

  310. I think there is nothing but honor in modesty. I would encourage you to really consider your motivation and the way you express it. Modesty for the sake of the “lustful thoughts” of men does nothing to help change the way women are objectified. Perhaps if we are modest because it helps us feel closer to God, & stop letting men off the hook for their thoughts (& subsequent actions), more men and women will learn to respect women as daughters of God.

  311. I don’t think it’s the choice of modesty, I think we all agree that’s awesome. It’s the statement that we are responsible for the virtue of men. That thinking is carousing a lot of harm in the middle east and here as well. I’m not an immodest dresser, and I don’t wear leggings at all unless in my horse doing yoga. But I KNOW that my job as a mom is to teach my son to value women as people, not devalue them to sex objects. We need to stop making women sexual objects, not validate the thinking that they are.

  312. I appreciate your discussion. Modesty =good shaming/blaming/objectifying/victimizing in the name of God =BAD

  313. Whether you realize it or not, both men AND women will look, maybe not in the “lustful” manner you are describing, but to compare themselves or admire you. You have a right to wear what you feel comfortable with, and you should be applauded for standing up for yourself. I don’t agree 100% that all men are going to look at your body in the lustful way because some men just don’t care.

  314. Good for him. Perhaps girls would stop dressing that way at all if we as a society stopped teaching them they were objects and their only worth was their physical desirability. Telling a girl she’s only worth anything if she’s a virgin is just as bad as saying she’s only worth anything if she’s sexually … let’s say “advertised”

  315. Oh grow up, you whiney baby. Gesh. She’s not saying anything against you, just how she feels about it. It’s time to grow up and act like an adult instead of like a ten year old.

  316. Thank you for the kind opinion. Again, I feel that modesty is awesome. But the act of covering up because of what others think isn’t actually modesty. Modesty is portraying yourself in a manner that shows you respect yourself, not based on what others think.

  317. According to a bible translated by men who systematically sought to vilify and devalue women as a whole. ..

  318. I think a HUGE problem in society is the definition of “modesty” and “virtue” as generally accepted. It is just as bad to tell a girl her value lies in being a virgin, as in being sexually available or aggressive. We need to teach people to respect themselves and stop objectifying. We are women, not objects. We have inherent value not predicated upon what we wear. We should dress in a manner that reflects intelligence, confidence, and self-respect. I refuse to base my (albeit conservative) choice of wardrobe on what any fallible human being thinks of me, & even if someone does not respect themselves, it is still our responsibility as Christians to choose to respect them, as befitting representatives of Christ.

  319. I’ve said this before. Nipple =yuck. Oh how I wish men had to wear shirts. I respect that they have the right to not. Except my son. He can go shirtless as soon as his sisters can. I’m all about equality.

  320. I really wish we’d stop telling women to be modest “for men” teach your sons not to objectify women, treat women with respect, & not value them based on their sexual choices. Maybe then women will choose to respect themselves, & cease basing their own value on how others see them. In truth modesty is about self respect. I cover myself & teach my daughters the same so we can feel close to God & not be beleaguered by the opinions of others, not because we fear what others will think of us.

  321. Um, why not just wear a long shirt to cover your butt??? Really not blog-worthy if you ask me. If God is leading you to lego your leggings then just do it. Why the need to advertise?

  322. Good for you, I respect you for having the courage to take responsibility for how you dress may affect others. Imagine, an adult in our midst!

  323. You are terribly mistaken if you believe people are fighting in the name of immodesty. They are arguing that the author’s comments perpetuate the idea that women modesty is to be based on the thoughts of men. That is wrong and contributes to the continued victimization of women. Be modest! Yay you! But don’t accept responsibility for the thoughts of any other person. That’s on them.

  324. Then sir, you had better make sure YOUR dress is in accordance with the expectations you have of women. As far as I’m concerned, your thoughts are not my problem, and I’m tired of women being held responsible for the thoughts and actions of men adhering to their “base” selves

  325. No one questions her desire to be modest, only her motivation. Be modest for yourself, for God, but it is not modesty to accept responsibility for others’ thoughts. That is just the systemic vilification of women in society.

  326. You are still turning a woman into an object through avoidance. Teaching a girl she is of value because she’s virginal is just as bad as teaching her she’s of value because she’s sexually active. Start by treating a woman like a valid, equal being, & stop valuing her based on the superficial.

  327. The “bitchy” (way to be sexist) isn’t in the choice of wardrobe, but in the vilification of women and shifting the blame for men objectifying women to the women being objectified. That’s like blaming an attractive woman who gets harassed for instigating the harassment by being attractive. (What the what?) Modesty is awesome. Do it for the right reasons, like because you feel like it’s the best way to respect yourself or even God, Whatevs. Don’t do it because you’re responsible for the virtue of the men you may pass on the street, that’s their responsibility.

  328. I’m not going to lie. I read your post and thought “thank goodness, because the OB who delivered my babies is male” we always have a choice. It’s awesome toy respect yourself and dress according to your beliefs. It’s despicable to soft all moral responsibility to women and not give men the credit of being honorable in their own choices.

  329. You. Never. Should. Objectify. Anyone. EVER. who gave you the right to value another human based on her appearance? I don’t care if you’re looking at a half-naked prostitute. Christ would not objectify her. Therfore, as a Christian, you don’t have the right to.

  330. totally agree with you s.e. in that it is a multifaceted issue and there are lots of angles from which you can approach it. i have a daughter as well as sons and i assure you, i am (attempting) to teach her to respect herself and to express her virtues in lots of ways, including the way she dresses.
    still, i don’t think we as women can ignore the impact of the way we dress, on everyone, men, women and ourselves. as an entirely heterosexual woman, i find the tight fitting clothing of others an opportunity to stumble not in lust but in envy or judgment. i have given up jeans and pants for the most part and while i doubt too many men would be tempted to check out my 40 year old, 4 pregnancy surviving behind, i feel more confident knowing that what i am wearing is more of a reflection of my heart and less of what you can see in the mirror.

  331. Is man fallen? Yes. All men, all women. Everyone.

    However, man being fallen is mutually exclusive to the word of God in the Bible. The Bible does not teach the objectification of women.

    The author’s point is pretty clear – she understands that one of the many failings of man (man meaning men and women) is lust and rather than tempting men with tight clothes and thus subjecting herself to objectification, she is respectfully declining to do so. Further, by not purposely drawing attention to her physical appearance, she is rightfully displaying that she is more than just a physical being with a utilitarian use. She is more. Based on her actions stated in this article alone she is conscious, respectful, humble, thoughtful, bright, and caring. Those attributes are much more valuable than her figure in tight leggings.

  332. I think there are more and more people in this country, trying to keep girls and women from even thinking about this from a common sense angle. I used to be married to a United Methodist pastor though, and I still feel a responsibility to tell people that being a believer doesn’t mean you have to leave your good sense behind.

  333. I don’t think that guys are at fault for the way girls dress at all because that’s placing blame on men for something that they don’t have anything to do with. In the same way, saying that girls are responsible for the lustful thoughts of men is placing blame on girls for something they have nothing to do with. I agree with you it’s important to be modest and comfortable in what you’re wearing, no matter what your gender. I’m just saying that I think someone should choose whatever level of modesty they are most comfortable with because that how they feel the best and not because they are holding themselves responsible for the thoughts of others You’re probably right: both genders should be modest…I just hope they do it for the right reasons.

  334. The gender of the person doesn’t matter. Girls that lust after other girls should still be held responsible for their own thoughts.

  335. Again. As long as we are taught as women, that our value as daughters of God is predicated upon our perceived virtue sexually, rather than our integrity, service, charity, and faith, men will continue to objectify them. I applaud modesty. I even practice it. But do not presume that perpetuating the objectifying of women by reducing them to their sexuality or supposed sexulaity is of God.

  336. I love that there are not one, but TWO ads for tight leggings on your sidebar. Irony is so delicious. I’ll be wearing my leggings extra hard this week just to make you feel more righteous. You’re welcome! 😉

  337. I could not agree with you more!!! I am 100% agreement. Please do not misunderstand at all, we are each responsible for our own actions. I merely wanted to share my perspective as a man. I apologize for being redundant, but I do not hang my tongue out looking at any woman other than my wife. I just know where they could go if I did not maintain my discipline. I would leave on the age old statement that there is an appropriate time and a place. This applies to my thoughts as well. I will not say I do not like seeing women wearing yoga pants as I appreciate what God created. But I know that there are a lot of men who do not maintain discipline, nor do they care how evil their thoughts become. If you are comfortable with that, by all means, please wear what you like (wear what you like regardless, not my life).

    In the end, as stated, I wanted only to share a man’s perspective. Nothing more. Note that nowhere did I say “women should <>” as that is not my place. We are each free to make our own decisions…good or bad. Who am I to tell you to do anything? As others have, I only share my opinions on the topic.

  338. I wholeheartedly agree with your statement. Further, it is society that has reduced the value of women to equal their physical appearance, not the Bible. It is not some misunderstood interpretation of the Bible that led to this state, it is simply the fact of man’s sinfulness.

    By pushing God out of our society and replacing His word with relative morality in conjunction with a Darwinistic view of man that reduces all of us to a utilitarian being, we arrive where we are today.

  339. She has recently deleted it, but a photo is still out there on the internet of her husband half naked (shirtless, buff and showing his muscles) with a caption that says something like “Sexy, huh?” that she wrote. Why would she post a half naked photo asking people if her husband is sexy? Why is ok for us to oogle at her husband, apparently with her permission, but it’s not okay for her to wear leggings – which can be worn quite modestly if you just use common sense and wear a long sweater, tunic or dress over them. Leggings don’t have to be immodest if you wear them in a modest way. I just don’t get where this girl is coming from.

  340. Thank you for that. I have tried to make that same point about seeing a woman in terms of her parts is objectification. Its nice to hear a woman who gets that too.

  341. You are choosing not to wear yoga pants/tights because you feel it may arouse men in a lustful way? What message do you suppose this sends your children & your husband the following:

    -Your children ARE responsible for the thoughts, feelings and arousal of others. That it is their fault if someone looks at them in an inappropriate way.
    -It is your children’s fault if someone looks at them inappropriately, after all, it is probably how they are dressed.
    -Eventually, this teaches your children that if someone makes an unwanted sexual advance, it is likely due to their actions or dress.
    -It teaches your children that women are control of what men feel towards them in terms of sexual arousal.
    -It takes the blame off of men who cannot control themselves and look at women inappropriately
    -It teaches your husband that you too agree that women should dress modestly in order to protect them from their sexual arousal
    -It sends the message that your husband is not at fault for looking at other women in a lustful way.
    -It teaches people that their inappropriate and lustful actions are not fault of their own, but women for wearing something too revealing.

    I know you may HATE to hear it, but this is why victims of sexual harassment and rape are shameful about coming forward. Perhaps they think they have something to do with it (They don’t.)

    I, for one , will work on teaching my children how to respect others in a way that they CAN control.

  342. How about you learn to control your thoughts? Why do women constantly need to make it easier for men? Like literally fuck you.

  343. Thank you 🙂
    I’m not sure why this is such a big issue for people… I guess their conscience is getting to them? Sure the man has to learn to control himself also, as everyone isn’t going to do this, but it is nice when someone decides to make it easier for their brothers.
    God bless, and ignore the haters.

  344. Hey try spending a day in a wheelchair. Then not only will people not look at your butt but they also won’t care what you put on your legs. Like seriously I could probably wear a living, breathing cat as pants and nobody would comment on it because they’re to weirded out by my wheels.

  345. Adults understand that (most) other adults should be able to control their own lustful thoughts. 😉 Also, you’re dumb.

  346. Dry suit anyone? Then not only are you completely hidden but you no longer need to heat the pool! Hell ya!

  347. You probably don’t look good in leggings anyway…from what I see your outside matches the inside.

  348. If we look at the patriarchs: Abraham had Isaac by his wife, and half-sister, Sarah and Ismael by Sarah’s handmaiden Hagar. Jacob had twelve sons and at least one daughter, by his two wives, who were also his first cousins Leah and Rachel and by their handmaidens Bilhah and Zilpah, David had at least seven wives. First Kings 11:3 states that Solomon “had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines.”

    I’m pretty sure they all lived a long time before Darwin supposedly instituted a view of man that reduces all of us to a utilitarian being. It is hard to see how one can honor and value multiple wives and concubines as valuable individuals, rather than for their utilitarian value.
    You obviously do not understand Darwin, utilitarian ethics, or even the Patriarchs as they are described in the Bible, which I assume you regard as God’s word..

  349. SWEET MERCY NOT THIS AGAIN. Seriously, if I have to read another blog post like this, I will personally destroy the internet.

    Men: assuming you are not currently wearing a neck brace, you do in fact, have the power to look away from things which are offensive to you. Or which are not yours to look at in the first place. USE IT. (If you are in a neck brace, my condolences. You may ignore the previous 3 sentences)

    Women: no matter how you are dressed, perverts are going to be perverted because that’s who they are. God knows nobody ever avoided unwanted sexual attention by wearing slightly looser pants. Perpetuating the lie that if you dress modestly, men will treat you better is damaging to EVERYONE. You are effectively telling men they are animals with no control, and in the same breath telling women that if men treat them like objects it is their own fault.

    Do we all understand now? Good. I never want to see anything like this, ever again.

  350. Let me tell you a story about training service dogs. When you teach a dog to stay, you stay out with no distractions. You ask them to stay over, and over, and over again until they get it right ever time. Now that your dog is staying consistently, you toss a cookie in front of him, and make him stay anyways. When the dog has it figured out that he needs to stay even though there’s a cookie, then you go where there’s squirrels. You have that dog stay in every possible condition in every possible place until nothing will break his stay.

    Now your sons are the dogs and the cookie is my butt. I’m helping you train your boys by wearing yoga pants because the more times they don’t rape me while I’m in yoga pants, the more reliable their stay is becoming.

    You’re welcome 🙂

  351. I think the root cause for people being offended by this article is that most people don’t believe that God teaches in this way. Yes we are all entitled to personal revelation and beliefs. But God doesn’t teach by controversy. You would talk about the good works and service you are doing for your community. You would write about the power of women and how we have more influence for good then we even know. Telling someone it’s basically their fault if a man looks at them the wrong way by wearing leggings… just doesn’t come off well( even if that wasn’t your intention it just comes off that way). Building women up and making them feel empowered, and help them see their own personal worth. That will help them naturally grow in modesty and know what is right for them. But when you post a blog about why you feel it’s bad to wear leggings. How is the women standing next to you not going to feel judged?

  352. Here were go again, women “causing” men to do stuff. I guess I should be excited that we’re so powerful? Amazing that men don’t seem to “cause” us women to do anything…

  353. Yeah, and they have noooo idea what’s under a burqua. Or just a long skirt and blouse. Please. It’s not the leggings. I can wear what I want (though I don’t wear leggings, because, c’mon ladies, leggings are not pants unless you’re a child.)

  354. So if I Don’t believe in God and I wear yoga panta to walk to the gym I’m okay?! This is bullshit. You shouldn’t be told what to wear to control other’s thougths. If you aré a religious man and you don’t want to “sin” control your fucking thoughts/feelings. Don’t blame other people for doing what God tells you not to do. You don’t go to the store, steal something, and then say it was “half” the stores fault for selling it.

  355. Wow, way to tell someone they are ugly inside and out when you are just the same person. I would assume your face is just a giant asshole ?

  356. Do you also blame women when they are raped bc of what they wear? And men go shirtless all the time and that causes women to look, should they be forced to swim in shirts. SMH slut shaming at it’s finest!

  357. Um, I am not angry but did you know you are contributing to rape culture? Who is responsible for rapes? People who rape. Who is responsible for lustful thoughts? People who have lustful thoughts. You can’t control what another man thinks.

    Other things that might contribute to other men thinking lustful thoughts about you: Diet, exercise, washing your hair, make-up, showing skin of any kind, smiles, femininity, swimming, playing sports, being intelligent, original thoughts, creativity, handshakes and on and on. You are on the road to wearing a burka. Literally, you are doing the same thing with the same concept for the same purpose, just to a lesser degree.

    You will never read and you will never consider, but you are being an extremist to a lesser degree. Stop taking responsibility for men and their thoughts. That should be a man’s job.

  358. This is what I hate about fashion blogs with titles like “fashion trends guys hate” or “why not to wear this for guys” because who cares what guys think? I will wear what I want and what I think looks good and what I feel comfortable wearing!!

    I could care less about what guys think of me! I dress for ME and what I like, NOT for what boys think I should or shouldn’t wear.

  359. Nice. Because you’re point is invalid, you assume I’m fat and ugly.

    That’s me in that picture. Can’t say the same for you. Or were you looking in the mirror when you posted that?

  360. Right on Veronica! At last there is someone who is bold enough to stand up to something that you believe in and publicize it. This world has unfortunately has gotten to the place where they are normalizing things, situations , etc. that are otherwise spiritually and morally wrong. Whatever happened to leaving a woman’s body to a man’s imagination? Nowadays it seems that every woman’s body is every man’s delight.

  361. Mature adults try not to be stumbling blocks for others. Your closing remark proves you are neither.

  362. Well, the writer of the article is a professed disciple of Christ. “…turning heads is sometimes quite nice,” should not be the thought process of a believer. Number one, you’re saying you’re willfully creating a stumbling block for a weaker brother, or maybe just one with a weakness in that area. You’re messing with a two edged sword, for that matter. One is seducing him into lust. The other is stating you get off on pride. And pride is at the top of God’s hate parade. It’s exactly what got Lucifer thrown out of Heaven. And it really the bottom line to all our sins. How arrogant is it to say we know more than God about what’s best?

    Now, please understand, I have no issue with leggings as it pertains to myself. I’m 52 years old. It ain’t like I’ve never seen a nude woman before. But, if I’m 18 or 19 or even on up into my 30s, or farther if you have an issue in that area, then I can definitely see where it could cause one to lust.

    Now, don’t confuse that with someone saying the way you dress causes rape. As I said in a post above, rape is not about sex. It’s about control and power. If a rapist is going to rape someone tonight, he has no preference as to what clothes she’s wearing.

  363. Veronica is entitled to her opinion, and I applaud her for making her case so publicly. But why focus on leggings? I think far more men are enticed by that standard attire of the workplace – skirts, hosiery and sensible pumps. Those are much more revealing than even form-fitting yoga pants. I’m more likely to notice a businesswoman wearing that in a coffee shop than the mom wearing leggings. Even women walking around in sweats with PINK across their butts will gain unwanted attention. Where does it stop?

  364. Looking at the other sex because of what they wear is a choice. If your husband has lustful thoughts about other women because they wear leggings, what does he do when he is at the beach? Honestly, it doesn’t sound like your husband is committed to your marriage. A relationship is about respect and honoring each others boundaries. Thoughts are just that, a thought that comes into your mind, for whatever reason, this doesn’t mean you have to act on it or even acknowledge it. If someone walks by with a nice body you can respectfully consider how hard they work at it and move on with your day. Lustfully thoughts about someone ELSE than your wife, is a choice. If a women wears a low cut blouse does that give a man a right to rape her because she caused him to think that way? I would consider counseling, don’t make excuses for your husband.

  365. “Sexy” and “causing someone to lust” are two entirely different things. None of that matters, anyway. The bottom line is this lady was convicted to change her dress and she did so. And that’s what each Christian has to determine for themselves. If a body builder showed up to his normal workplace wearing nothing but one of those latest little string and bag that ONLY covers the barest of necessities, then we have a problem. If he’s just a good lookin’ guy who’s dressed nicely, hey, more power to him. But he shouldn’t be doing anything to lead anyone astray.

    Paul was very clear. All things are legal but not all things are profitable (for a believer). He goes on to say that whatever you do, do for the glory of God. God may have convicted this woman in particular to avoid someone else from being led astray. Lots of things we’ll never understand this side of Heaven. We don’t even see a full grain of sand in this immense universe as far as the big picture is concerned. God sees and knows it all. From eternity past to eternity future. “Mine is not to question why, only to do or die.” Not a statement from the Bible, but a biblical like statement. So it’s quite possible one believer could be under conviction for something someone else is not.

    And it may have absolutely nothing at all to do with them. Bottom line is, if you feel like it’s God’s will, I suggest making sure it doesn’t contradict scripture, and if it doesn’t, do it. If it does, it ain’t comin’ from God. “Not my will, but Thine be done.”

    This is pretty cool. I went to biblegateway.com to verify my statements before I hit the button, and this popped up as the verse of the day. It’s applicable. Wanting to turn heads because it makes you feel good is the sort of thing this is referring to.

    Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

    Well, sorry for such big font. I copy and pasted and can’t seem to find the option to alter it. I’ll probably figure it out shortly after I reply.

  366. This topic seems pretty simple to me. One party is responsible to wear modest clothing and the other is responsible to control its mind and keep clean and pure thoughts. Why do we have to put the weight on one or the other? It comes to down to taking responsibility for oneself (aka the only person I can control).

  367. If you don’t want to wear them, don’t. If you do want to wear them go ahead! Do NOT worry about what other people think is long as you are comfortable with yourself. Everyone has their right to an opinion but if you are worried someone is going to actuality look at you and have so called thoughts, then wear a robe constantly and cover your face.

  368. Sounds like a whole lot of feminist crap to me. Wear what you want no one cares, in the end ask yourself if you’re walking around with dignity or not. So what if your ass looks nice? It’s like gun control, people kill people guns don’t wake up and go on a killing spree. Just like yoga pants don’t force a man to look. Quit blamming men for your problems because you’re bored.

  369. Well said SPH. It would appear from the angry and in some cases vituperative protestations that some folks’ sovereignty has been threatened. Good! We need more of the notion that how we speak, behave and dress has an impact on others and that we have a responsibility to filter our choices through the concept of: Just because we “can” doesn’t necessarily mean we should.

  370. It is very hard for someone to write what you wrote because you are being vulnerable and sharing your heart based on what you feel God is calling you to do. Right on!! All I see in your writing is just honesty and personal responsibility. As a football coach and teacher in public schools, I think the attitude of responsibility that you are sharing is exactly the kind of thing we need to help our young men and women focus on what is important. If any heterosexual man says that he can simply ignore women in tight fitting or revealing clothing, I would like to meet him. I am a follower of Christ and I believe that many times God does not call us to make decisions based on our emotions or what we “feel” is best or worst. He calls us to obey Him because He knows best. I also understand that people who do not follow the Bible have a tough time understanding that concept – and I respect that. I appreciate your willingness to be an example for men and women everywhere. Yes, we men have a ton of responsibility to do the right thing with regards to what we look at and how we behave. But it sure does help when the ladies help us out as much as possible. I pray that God gives you strength as you deal with the haters! God Bless you and Dale, I love his blogs too.

  371. This is teaching young women,everywhere, your daughter included, that men cannot control their thoughts and actions and therefore women need to modify the way they act and dress. Women should feel comfortable wearing form fitting clothing in public without being objectified. Instead of teaching your daughter to cover up her body, maybe you should teach your husband to control his mind. Especially since he is such a powerful and respectable entrepreneur and leader.

  372. Can you tell your husband to shave his beard, because seeing those luscious face-pubes really make me want to suck his cock.

  373. I’m not saying she’s not being hypocritical or anything like that. I don’t know the woman. But it is certainly not right for everybody here on this blog to ridicule her because she isn’t 100% consistent in her application of Scripture. She may be being completely hypocritical, but even if she is, she should be approached by someone who knows her, in person, in private, who can gently show her her error based on the Bible. Jesus said many times to not act as the Pharisees do, however He also said in Matthew 23:3 to do what they say. They said the right things (mostly) but didn’t put into practice what they preached. You should not throw out truth even if the one speaking it doesn’t practice it. It is up to the Holy Spirit to change her (and He uses people who know her to gently correct her), not multitudes of people on the internet who don’t even know her. And no, it’s not ok for men to be immodest either.

  374. It’s not just about covering your butt. It’s about making the correct choices for your beliefs. Sharing this type of decision with those like-minded people who may have been considering similar topics may find Veronica’s article extremely helpful to them on a personal level. Obviously a Christian, part of Veronica’s role is to share her beliefs. She succeeded in doing so in a non-accusatory and non-pushy way. Even though she opened her article with a disclaimer, she has received a lot of criticism by the looks of these comments, but many seem to have found her thoughts helpful and wise. I enjoyed Veronica’s article and I applaud her decision. But, I’m curious to know what you’d consider “blog-worthy,” by the way?

  375. This asinine bloggery is a direct example of rising misandry. It is hypocritical and flippant. Leggings have fuckall to do with rape. if anything they’re worn wrong showing too many panty lines and occasionally putting the clam on display.

  376. “…and may cause them to think lustful thoughts”

    Why make their thoughts your responsibility? Why give them so much power over you?

  377. There is no amount of covering that will ever achieve the goal you’re after. It is taboo itself which makes a thing tittilating. If you want to make something more tempting, ban it. And there is no end to what can be sexually exciting. Look at the attached photo. You still gonna blame the woman?

    Repression itself breeds obsession.

  378. Alot of people are misrepresenting what she is saying. She never says that you cant wear yoga pants. So stop being so defensive. It is about her believes and apparently some have not been taught to respect others believes. It is also about respecting her husband, she realizes that something she does provokes an obvious response. Just like if I hit someone they will hit me back and even though I have no control about what they do but I know the obvious response and i am partly responsibility. Ask your self this if your husband acted a certian way that attracted alot female sexual attention wouldn’t you want him to recognise it and respect you enough to take that in to consideration. Alot of people blowing this out of proportion saying she supports blaming rape victims when she has not said that. she is just for her god and husband. I also find it funny how women want men to respect their sexuality and the way the feel to show it but can not respect each other. What wrong with only showing your body in a sexy capacity only with your husband and making your own decision?

  379. Sweatpants, jogging pants, anything that fits seamlessly around the curves of the most attractive part of a woman, her butt, will only amplify men’s desire for her.
    though to a man it’s not a sexual, but a sensual feeling. Just like women with full breasts (often done via plastic surgery), as long as it’s not naked it’ll attract a man in a sensual way.
    sensual attraction is sometimes even more dangerous, as only the most intimate parts of the other person are kept to the imagination, and all the rest is very visible.
    most men find a bigger attraction to a woman in a bathing suit, or sweatpants, than when she’s naked (unless she’s perfect being naked).
    Sensual attraction goes beyond the physical area. It combines a strong desire in men for exploring the physical, with the emotional. Sensual desire uses the physical attractive feats of a woman to also want to have an emotional connection to her; where as a sexual attraction only focuses on the outward, and as soon as the act is done, discards the person.

  380. Not if she’s covered up professionally. a woman in a suit, covered cleavage, and a jacket covering her rear end, is showing more than 75% less sensuality than stretchy sweatpants, unless she’s playing with the man…

  381. …said the Imam to the crowd gathered at the mosque.

    Do you really not see the similarity, there, daniel?

  382. Ok but she is not saying that she wants others to make the same decision she makes as you can see in her pictures she dresses attractive so she is also not saying wear a blanket . I will admit some women in the Muslim world are oppress but when people make decisions on their own its not oppressive to others . She even writes a disclaimer saying wear what you want to wear I dont care . Being consertive doesnt mean you want to oppress others or being close minded its just your values and beliefs and as long as you dont push on others whats the problem. Do what you want but you dont have to attack others who do differently

  383. I hate to tell you this, but this isn’t about YOU, it’s about HER. I can’t believe you are so sensitive and narcissistic to really think this about YOU. Sorry to pop your bubble, but she’s not talking about YOU. So you’re either super insecured or a troll. Not sure which yet. But she’s certainly not telling YOU to stop wearing them, but her. Stop being such a baby! Grow up. REalize not everything is about YOU.

  384. LOL!! Obviously older than you are. I don’t whine about other people’s blog posts and complain that they are about me when they’re not. Grow up!

  385. Many women who wear burquas will tell you it’s their choice and will give you the exact same line about showing only your body to your husband. You think that’s really likely given the social and religious pressures they’ve had hammered into them since childhood?

    The author of this article isn’t exactly telling people what to wear, but it is a passive-aggressive way of shaming those who do otherwise:

    “…my conscience is clear and I feel I am honoring God”

    The subtext is clear. “Wearing yoga pants is not honoring god and should weigh on your conscience… but I’m not saying you can’t.”

    More perplexing is the disconnect between the main topic and the line about telling her daughter that, “her value is not in the way her body looks or how she dresses,”

    On the contrary. That’s exactly the message you send when you tell a child that she must hide her body for the satisfaction of her future husband’s sexuality: Your value is in your body’s appearance.

  386. Nowhere does God say that having multiple wives and concubines is appropriate.

    Man is fallen and has been fallen since the Garden of Eden so yes, man has been behaving horribly since the beginning of time and the Bible quite often details this history.

    By removing God from the equation, and thus asserting that man is
    nothing special and can be defined solely by his utilitarian contribution, Darwin laid the groundwork for the scientific philosophy leading to treating people as merely another cog in the evolutionary chain. See: Eugenics.

    Again, had man been doing this already? Sure. But with Darwin we now had a name for it and by establishing the false paradigm that science is pure or neutral, social engineering via “scientists” became acceptable. After all, the scientist is supposedly making determinations without conscience or preference and men are no more sacred than any other animal; thus, it is perfectly acceptable for a higher evolved sort of man to rule the lives of other “less” evolved man. After all, there’s a reason the Progressive leaves out the entire title of Darwin’s “Origin of Species”. It’s pretty damning.

  387. I really can’t imagine that guys walk around lusting after women in burqas. Their eyes will look right past her to the gal leaving nothing to the imagination.

  388. Next step: slap on the burkha. Stupid, stupid cow. Instead of encouraging women to dress a certain way, why don’t you encourage men not to be lustful pigs? (Not that all of them are, of course.) Just another way to blame the victim. Lemme know how that burkha thing works out for you, you stupid cow.

  389. I know that you are seemingly under fire right now – from conservatives and liberals alike. But, I want to applaud you for taking your stand. The Lord sees your heart. I wrote a similar post on my blog, and while it hasn’t had quite the impact your post has had, I thought maybe it would comfort you a bit. You can read it here: http://blessedbeyondwords.com/living-modestly-in-an-immodest-world/. Thank you for sharing your heart. I think you did a great thing.

  390. I would begin by saying that first of all- It is your body and your choice and as long as you and your husband agree it’s cool. But it reminds me of a conversation I had back about twenty years ago with the father of a dear friend who was a deacon in his local Southern Baptist Church. At the time I was in college and a member of the Berea College Country Dancers (I was part of the American Dance team at the first International Folkmoot USA- something about which I was very proud.)

    My friend’s father was very disapproving of my choice to be a folk-dancer as he believed all dancing was evil. I asked him to explain, especially since we were reviving dances that had come over from Europe two hundred plus years ago and it was in no-way revealing or in anyway vulgar. He said when the women spun in the dances men might use that as an excuse to look at their legs and to think lustful thoughts. I was floored. I should not be involved in a wholesome activity because it might tempt other men to be lustful.

    My point is this. Men are going to be lustful. It’s part of our nature. Unlike women we are hard-wired to be visually stimulated. That is our nature and the way the gods designed us to be. However, having lustful thoughts is different from acting upon them. You are taking the responsibility for a man’s actions away from him and onto yourself. That is fair neither to the man, nor to you. It also leads us down the same slippery slope as the Islamicist imam who insisted that little baby girls be covered from head to toe lest some man sees them and is tempted to rape them.

    What thoughts lurk in a man’s (or woman’s ) heart cannot always be controlled. However, what actions a person takes on those thoughts are what define their character. Yes, I see attractive people around me every day. And yes, I appreciate the beauty of the human form. But just because I see an attractive woman and think she’s sexy doesn’t mean that I must act on it. THAT is MY responsibility as a civilized human being, and no matter how a woman is dressed, my actions are MY OWN. Whatever she does or doesn’t do has no bearing on the situation.

    In the end, if you choose not to wear leggings in public, that is your business and your welcome to it. However, don’t try and claim you are “saving men from themselves” by not doing it, because what you are really saying is that men aren’t responsible for their own actions. That is an arrogance and hubris that you should not take onto yourself. It’s unbecoming.

  391. I sort of understand where you’re coming from… sort of. But I think you’re also showing a lack of respect to yourself and men in general in your reasoning.

    Beauty Redefined shares this in the article linked below: “If we are teaching the girls in our lives that the primary objective of modesty is to keep themselves covered so boys and men don’t think sexual thoughts about them, then we are teaching girls they are responsible for other peoples’ thoughts and they are primarily sexual objects in need of covering.”

    http://www.beautyredefined.net/modest-is-hottest-the-revealing-truth/

  392. No offense but you sound like woman with a victim complex everything people say and do is intended to oppress you or attack. You also dont know the intentions of her writing but you want to take as an attack. Why cant we just ok I dont have the same believes but you can do belief what you want. You want people to respect what you do and believe but you dont to do others. Thats why their so much war because a like of tolerance. By the way I dont care if my wife wears tights but I see where the author is coming from . I am not a woman oppresser and a muslim like you portray me . Have you ever thought you were pressured to have liberal views and to think different they are wrong?

  393. And to try and take away a man’s responsibility for his own actions in order “to save a weaker brother” is a pride of a whole new category. It’s degrading, and it’s the ultimate expression of the whole “Bertha Better Than You” mentality.

  394. I just have one thing to point out, and that’s that yoga pants were in fact specifically designed for the gym. Do people also wear them to look sexy and draw attention? Of course they do. Anything can be misused. But the fact is that “yoga” pants were made for….guess what? Yoga!!! Tight tight tight, stretchy stretchy stretchy fabric is EXACTLY what someone who is hardcore working out NEEDS because it wicks away sweat and moves with your body. Fact of the matter is that baggy clothing is WAY in the way when you’re moving and stretching and contorting your body into all sorts of ways. I don’t even wear normal yoga pants to do yoga because the flared bottoms are in the way. I wear LEGGINGS because they’re functional.

    Fact of the matter: Yoga pants ARE designed for function, not seduction.

  395. You’ve obviously never done yoga…or you would know that anything besides yoga leggings basically makes serious yoga impossible. Any excess fabric prohibits handstands, body contortions, and whatnot. You can’t make the assertion that “yoga pants were made for a specific purpose” just because one of the side effects is sexual attraction. That isn’t logical.

  396. Assuming mental issues is QUITE a bit of a stretch. There are a LOT of assumptions on this feed. “Leggings were designed for seduction”, “girls who wear leggings have mental issues”. Geez. So many of you only see things through your own experiences. Open your mind a little. Anything can be seen as “attention seeking.” Even jewelry, hair color, whatever it is! There are a LOT of girls who simply wear leggings because they’re comfortable. Attention isn’t even in their minds. They’re unaware of the attention they get because they simply don’t care. At all. Think outside of your own bubble.

  397. “No offense but…”

    Oh, boy. Red flag. Yeah, go on.

    Passive/aggressively shaming others into conforming to a clothing standard is a kind of oppression, I suppose. But that doesn’t address my arguments. So I’m puzzled by the attacks on my character and motives.

    I’m not saying I don’t respect the author’s beliefs (and whether I do or not is irrelevant), I’m saying I disagree with them. Do you see the difference? I also see where the author is coming from, but I think she’s made some errors in judgement and I want to discuss them. Or are comment sections meant for agreement only?

    I’ve observed that there are similarities between (some) Muslim attitudes for female clothing, and the attitudes in this post/thread. Your comment, “What wrong with only showing your body in a sexy capacity only with your husband…” is exactly what I’d expect to hear from a Muslim husband insisting on a full-body burqa for his wife/wives. You seem to dislike the similarity, but is it an incorrect comparison?

  398. “Why should your gutter mind trump my comfort? Why do I have to change My dress and attitude when the problem is yours?”
    I have an answer: Men are certainly responsible for controlling their thoughts. However, the more immodestly women dress, the harder to control becomes. Imagine you were trying not to eat chocolate, yet so many people walk by you holding that chocolate. Now imagine over the years people being holding up that chocolate to your face, so that you can smell it, even almost taste it. For someone who loves chocolate as much as I do, it becomes extremely hard not to eat it. This is torture. And this is why I HATE (yes, HATE) when I walk around everyday just to see hundreds of women wearing tight clothing. You tell me not to eat the chocolate, but then you start parading that chocolate around. I will control myself, but your immodesty is unkind, disrespectful, and disgusting.

  399. This argument is as old as the hills.(think of something new) It is part of the reason behind Purdah. The physical separation of men and women. It puts the burden of rape/cat calling / assault on women’s shoulders in a downward spiral where a women can never dress modest enough to “control” men’s lust.

  400. I think she is honoring herself, her husband, and her fellowman. How I wish more women would do this thoughtful introspection.

  401. I just want to say you are awesome for standing firm on this. Cannot believe the crap comments you have gotten… so sad. Hugs.

  402. That is fantastic! My daughter loves leggings. She is 6. It never occurred to me to have them as pants before. I bought them so she can get some extra wear out of skirts over the winter, and she is not permitted to wear them unless her rear end is covered either by a dresslike shirt or a skirt. I myself cannot bear to wear some of the shirts that think they are dresses unless I have a pair of leggings on underneath. Part of that is how I was raised, but I want to be modest in how I dress so my daughters also will do the same. I want to feel pretty, want them to feel pretty as well, for who we are on the inside. Thanks for your refreshing post on this!

  403. Well I have to tell you as a masters in psychology student and also someone with a criminal justice degree who interviewed several prisoners for a study my class did, you are mistaken on a couple of points.

    Men are visual creatures. Plain and simple. theres a reason why Playboy sells millions of copies a month and why the publisher is a billionaire. You don’t see that with women. A man who has violent urges can and does get turned on by someone dressed in provocative clothing. She will usually be his target, unless he is dissuaded by others that are with her, her never being alone, etc.

    Rape IS about power. That’s for sure. Most men will see an attractive woman and want to exert power over her because that part of their mind takes over. If they say have gone to a strip club and then left and see a woman in blue jeans walking by herself at night, then yes they will attack her. But it has already been set off by their visualization. Some men (rapists I mean not all men) just rape because they like thinking they are making a woman powerless.

    Now of course this is not every case, as even Muslim women who wear hijibs are raped, but to say that clothing is never the cause is quite wrong, rape is not 100% all the time about power, it can be and is sometimes about sex.

  404. Dear World,

    My name is Conner I am 14 years old. I saw this blog post yesterday and started reading some of the comments. I do not see many biblical posts. I only see what people think and if what people think is not biblical than what is the point. This blog post is just one little step closer to what is of God. Anyway here’s a comment with some of the WORD OF GOD in it unlike most of these comments. (:

    First off I would like to say that Mrs. Veronica Partridge’s idea of not wearing leggings is not even that strong of a stance! You can get rid of leggings but that will not solve the problem, really anything that draws attention to your body is not modest. Even if you where wearing a dress that covered your whole body but was hot pink and neon blue it would still be drawing attention to yourself and that is the real problem. Getting rid of leggings is great but what about those jeans wether they are skinny or not, they still outline your body. I also do not find the disclaimer to be biblical at all, this kind of thing is say do what you want not what God wants. This is where America has come to where we have only grace and anything goes. Let the Word of God be our guide.

    “I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.” (‭1 Timothy‬ ‭2‬:‭8-12, 14-15‬ ESV)

    It is pretty clear “women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty” yet most Christians dress as the world does. There should be no Christian that can put on a pair of skinny jean, leggings, or anything of the sort that can feel good about them self. Women must dress in way the honors God. A good way to think about how clothes should do is ask the question is it reflecting God. Our clothes should not show off your body but instead show our faces that reflect God through our radiance. It is women’s job to dress modestly and a man’s job to show self control and not to lust. If women are dressing in immodest clothing they are going to make a man stumble, if they where to put on modest clothing then it would all the man’s fault for lusting. The Bible is pretty clear that we are not to make are brother stumble.

    Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. (‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭13‬ ESV)

    In my family my mother and sister dress in skirts and dresses everyday. They do this because they want to reflect God through the way they dress. Instead of showing off their bodies they want to point people to their radiant faces that reflect God. Like I said before even if you where covering your whole body you can still be immodest because you are drawing attention to yourself and not God.

    The bottom line is Christians should not be of the world. This means not dressing like the world. The world does not have high standards as it once had not that long ago. Do a quick google search on modestly in America and you will find that not that long ago it was illegal for women to even wear pants. All of this happened because of women working outside the home. We must go back to scripture for everything. America has come so far that it makes me sick to think that we live in place where woman wear clothes like leggings which are meant to be under a dress, not out in the open. I know that our founding father would be shocked to see what America has turned into. We have become a wicked country where everything goes beside honoring Christ. I have a million more things that I could share on this topic but for right now I just want to make you think. Think about modestly and how it used to be played out in America? If we keep heading on the path of anything goes where will we be 10 year from now?

    You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (‭James‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬ ES

    Mrs. Partridge I will be praying for you to draw close to God and his ways.

    With deep concern for the World,
    Conner

    If you would like to contact me please visit
    http://www.connersprojects.com

  405. If you weren’t trying to tell people what to wear then you wouldn’t have written a blog post about it. You are obviously trying to make people feel the way you do by so publicly sharing your opinion.

  406. I found your post via a popular blogger I can’t personally stand (accidental click – didn’t know who wrote the post before it was loading, or I wouldn’t have bothered as I prefer not to support his work in any way), and given his vociferous defense of your post, I thought I’d take a look. I actually agree with your reasoning, and with what you said about only wearing them at home OR with a top long enough to cover your rear, though I would personally say I make those choices out of a sense of dignity and class rather than modesty (I avoid that word as much as possible as I feel it’s been twisted way out of proportion and used to oppress a lot of people, including me in the past). You don’t need my agreement, of course, but since you’ve garnered quite a lot of hate and abuse for writing this, I thought you might appreciate knowing you’re not alone, even if our reasoning is somewhat different.

  407. I can’t believe in this day of free thought and open expression that anyone would mock or complain about a woman wanting to dress more modestly. I thought that Women’s Lib was allow about empowering women to think and god forbid dress they way they want to without derision. It seems that the world is filled with these infantile fascists that can’t stand someone having thoughts and opinions different from their own.

  408. I agree with you! Praise God for the Holy spirit guiding us in our daily decisions:) I applaud you for discussing it with your Husband and your and his Honesty. and you are setting a great Godly example for your daughter. Gods word says to not be a stumbling block for others …I agree that tight yoga pants can be just that for some men . Again I am so happy that you are following Gods word and doing what He has instructed. GREAT JOB!

  409. You are certainly entitled to your own thoughts and opinions on this subject, but I’d just like to point out that it is in no way, shape, or form a woman’s responsibility to control whether or not her body distracts a man. I see men wear things I think look attractive or sexy all the time. That doesn’t mean I’d expect them to stop wearing it because it’s distracting to me. It’s called exercising a little self control. Leggings are form-fitting, yes, but a woman could wear a flattering pair of jeans and a man might still look at her. It’s human nature. Leggings, just like any item of clothing, have their time and place. Wearing them to a formal event or nice dinner or to work (unless you work in a casual environment) is just plain inappropriate. But if you want to go grocery shopping or to Chipotle, who cares? If a man looks, deal with it. They’re form-fitting pants and honestly they’re designed to be worn with a longer shirt or under a dress.

  410. More like common sense. It’s the way they’re designed. Nobody would voluntarily buy pants that show their camel toe out in public unless they were designed to go under a longer shirt.

  411. Good for you Veronica. You are beautiful and standing up for what is honoring to God. I admit I love wearing leggings because they are so comfy but one time I wore them I felt naked. I think leggings are fine as long as you have a shirt to cover your lower part. I love fashion and love cute clothes but it’s not to draw attention so a man can lust after me. I will be sure to think about what I wear now as I felt a little convicted. You GO GIRL!!

  412. You may be older, but a lot less immature I’d say. In my circle of peers we don’t call each other names and tell each other to grow up. However, we do debate topics in a mature fashion and when we don’t agree with someone – we don’t resort to name calling.

  413. BTW if you are saying you are Christian and cursing and putting down Veronica because she wants to respect her husband you are a hypocrite. Look at all the comments from men thanking her. This should show you it’s a real problem.

  414. I agree with what you are saying! You still wear them, if your bottom is covered…In my opinion, leggings shouldn’t be worn with short shirts period. I am glad you are sticking with your convictions!

  415. I find the whole idea of this pretty anti-feminist, and heres why!

    The fact: A woman is changing her wardrobe FOR the male gender and what thoughts they may or may not have about the female.

    Ideas such as this woman’s (to not wear tight pants) regresses feminism and equality among men and women! And where is the line drawn? I assume she’s also not going to wear shorts in the summer and bathing suits either…. because obviously there’s nothing as skin tight as skin.

    Is the “Free the Nipple” movement going to make you wear baggy sweatshirts forever? Have you heard of this movement?

    We need to be moving in the opposite direction! Free the body from sexual purpose! We are supposed to, as humans, be able to be free and comfortable in our skin! Not change the way we dress because of the thoughts of some men (completely natural thoughts by the way…. that each man and woman gets…. everyday…).

    You are suppressing your own feminism in my opinion. Had your reasoning been something like “I vow to not wear yoga pants because I don’t like the feeling when men eye me.” That would have been a whole different story. But the reason that you gave us, in my opinion, is offensive both to my femininity and to the male gender.

    Isn’t an attractive woman in yoga pants just that? An attractive woman in yoga pants.

  416. What a terrible article. Why don’t you take it a step further and wear a burka? Some men might be turned on just by the sight of your face, better hide it. Men can’t control it and women are responsible for our actions and thoughts. This lady must be Mormon.

  417. To everyone here getting on Veronica’s case: Did you leave your all’s reading comprehension skills back in 2nd grade? This was clearly a blogpost about HER OWN decision not to dress a certain way. Simple as that. Why is this so hard to understand? There is no exhortation for every other female in America to follow suit or condemnation of those who do. If you can find one in her post then please clue the rest of us in. Otherwise, let someone give their own opinion about their own PERSONAL walk with God without idiotic accusations like “well, what she’s saying is that it’s the womans’ fault if she’s raped.” *SMH* Maybe y’all should take a deep breath, drink a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette, kick a puppy,…whatever you have to do to be able to focus and read what her post ACTUALLY says. Otherwise, you’re nothing more than a collection of hypocrites with nothing better to do than shove YOUR personal morality down HER throat with a side order of self-righteous indignation.

    Or is it that just by virtue of the fact that she lives out a system of morals based on a Godly standard PERIOD that infuriates you so much? Where’s the “tolerance”? Where?

    Anyway, great post, Veronica. I hope you keep it up and never waver.

  418. Yoga pants actually *are* designed to be comfortable for the wearer; that is the whole point of yoga pants — to enable a person to stretch and twist and bend the way that yoga moves tend to require. A brand like Lululemon then upped the style factor *not* so that women would corrupt the innocent souls of men everywhere but so that it would be appropriate to wear the pants outside the yoga studio — and when a good pair of yoga pants can set you back 100 dollars, street-to-studio practicality is very nice indeed.

    I happen to believe that men are not animals. Men can control their sexual urges, and do, and for women to assume that they are responsible for a man’s self-control does neither gender any favors (and contributes to rape culture and victim-blaming). If men want the respect of women — if men want women to treat them with warmth, love and respect — if men want women to nurture them and care deeply about their welfare (and not just pretend to because they are financially trapped in the relationship or feel too guilty and morally obligated to leave) — if men want women to be loyal and faithful — then men need to treat women — all women — as human beings first, as complex and worthy individuals pursuing God-given destinies of their own, despite whatever sexual thoughts they do or do not provoke. It is possible to glance admiringly at a beautiful woman without leering at her or making her feel creeped out and uncomfortable. It is also possible to then turn back to your wife, or go home to your wife, and make it a point to re-connect with her, to give her the appreciation and emotional connection she is probably hungering for. This would also, by the way, go a long way toward helping her manage her own inevitable attractions to other men (or, in some cases, other women). In other words, a little less attention to yoga pants, and a little more attention — genuine, focused, loving attention — to actual women.

  419. So when I gave up smoking 20 years ago, the rest of the world should have quit as well?

    It took a lot of self control for me not to fall back into the habit.

    Or for that matter, if you’ve ever eaten french fries, better stop now. They’re bad for me and part of the reason why I have to go to yoga and wear those nasty pants you’re so concerned about.

  420. It’s not a “Bertha Better Than You” mentality. Sexual addiction IS real ,therefore dressing in a way that draws that person deeper into their addiction is just as bad as offering any type of alcohol or drugs to those addicted to those substances.

  421. Only if one KNOWS that person has an addiction. Otherwise it’s automatically assuming that person is incapable of handling seeing a woman in leggings. It is treating EVERY man as if they are incapable of resisting their base urges. That is not fair, and demeans the men around her. It is assuming a moral superiority that does not exist. THAT is the very definition of Bertha Better Than You.

  422. As I read these comments, for the most part, I am completely and utterly flabbergasted. How can you get all up in arms over a woman making a decision that she believes is God honoring and good for her? She isn’t forcing her opinion on anyone, and yet the majority of you are acting like she is trying to do just that.
    As a student of the human mind, I have learned that the majority of people who write nasty comments defending themselves using ridiculous circumstances are very insecure in themselves. Also I read one comment about “rape” and actually if you do just a little bit of research, it will show that the majority of woman that are raped are wearing low-cut shirts, mini skirts, short shorts, yoga pants, or belly shirts. The reason why that is? Not to get to graphic, but the reason is because those items of clothing are very easy to cut off, or be taken off with one hand.
    Also, when did the need for comfort take precedence over caring for your fellow man? If your know how mans mind works, why not just acknowledge it like a civilized person without throwing out arguments that are absolutely ridiculous? Now I will readily admit that I love comfy clothes. There is nothing like them. But if you rub some brains cells together, you will come to realize that when you see someone walking around in the pajama pants, or yoga pants, you think “huh, that person really doesn’t have any pride in themselves do they? I guess they don’t mind that I can practically see “everything” or that I can see every single imperfection on them.”
    Another comment I read said that since some woman find men sexy in suits, does that mean men shouldn’t wear suits? Again flabbergasted. Now see here, I find men in suits very, very attractive. And a blue suit? Oh boy…! But that is as far as it goes. Woman find a man attractive, think on it for a second in awe, and move one. That is the way we are wired. That is how God made us. But as we all know, men are not woman, and woman (no matter how much some want to be) are not men. Both sexes are wired completely different. That is how God designed it, and that is what He intended.

  423. Veronica, I have the utmost respect for you. I agree with every word that you said in this post and I absolutely believe it was God inspired. I’m sorry that you’ve received so much harsh criticism for it, but please don’t let any of it deter you. God bless you!

  424. First of all, I think you need to calm down. Let’s be civil. I don’t think I ever said or indicated in any way that I thought it was about me and, honestly, I haven’t read a single comment here that suggest the commenter thinks that this is about them. I don’t think she’s telling me not to wear leggings and honestly I wouldn’t have a problem with it if she was, as long as she presented a good argument. I do, as I stated before, have a problem with the reasoning behind her decision. It’s like rape culture. Many people think that a woman was asking for it because of the way she was dressed and then the woman becomes responsible for what the man does to her or, in this case, thinks of her. I don’t think it’s acceptable to promote this kind of ideology and I think that this article is doing that, to a certain extent. I can’t speak to whether or not the author intended to do this, but she has and now it needs to be addressed.

  425. Honestly it really just comes down to what the bible says about modesty and it straight up says that we need to be modest and not be a stumbling block. Leggings and yoga pants are not modest. period. Lets be real, there shouldnt even be an argument for if we should wear them because they arent. and also if what women wear could possibly be a stumbling block then we really shouldnt wear it. yes, we dont have control over what men think but if wearing jeans over leggings is going to make a man stumble less then we should consider wearing the jeans. And im not saying that they wont ever lust over a girl wearing jeans, it will just not be as common. It really just comes down to giving up selfish pleasures of the comfortablility of leggings or yoga pants. We shouldnt say “well what if I want to wear them because it goes with my outfit? or because it is comfortable?” that is a really selfish thought. and we as women need to take into account other men and watch out for them.

  426. (edit: this was originally a response to friend’s posting of a news article linking to this blog post so some syntax may not make much sense here)

    I see the noble intentions, but I still feel funny about it; why should SHE have to give up something when it is HIM that is at fault? It is HIS wandering eyes; instead of making women give up yoga pants, why can we not ask men to be more respectful? If it’s impossible for men to “train themselves” to not have wandering eyes, how are we any better than animals? It just seems strange to me; HE is the one committing the sin (wandering eyes/lusting), yet SHE is the one that must change her life. She even admitted that getting dressed is now more difficult. If it were my daughter, I would ask her the same question; why must SHE change if she did nothing wrong in the first place?

    Like, look at one of the comments they said was a “positive” one.

    One person named Jake commented, “As a young adolescent single male, it is hard to ignore women who dress immodestly…if that’s a word. However, I’ve found (from first impressions) that a woman is most attractive when they dress modest(ly).”

    The opinions of “immodest” vary from person to person; a young lady wearing yoga pants to be comfy isn’t being immodest, yet Jake would say otherwise and would say that she is less attractive than a woman wearing a long dress solely because the young lady with the yoga pants makes him think sexual thoughts even though she was only trying to be comfy. As an analogy, it’s like an overweight person blaming McDonalds or other restaurants for having good food, sort of like saying “Darn them. I can’t stop eating fast food when it’s right there on my block. Please, make them move their restaurant!” when really it’s not the restaurant’s problem, but the fast food addict’s.

    I honestly think that this silly issue of yoga pants will only stop when guys stop looking at women as pieces of meat and women stop accepting the blame for “making it hard for men to ignore them”

  427. You say to not blame the men; let’s not then. Instead, let’s blame society and what has happened. How is the buttocks or leg area sexual in any way? It is literally the body’s sewage system. Do you think butts have always been attractive to men? In different cultures, different body parts are sexualized. For example, in older times, ankles were seen as sexual and even flashing so much as an inch of ankle would be considered immodest. What does this say? This says that any sexual thoughts you have as a result of looking at somebody’s rear end is SOCIETALLY based. Butts and breasts shouldn’t be sexualized since they have no sexual function and both sexes have them, but in our time and age, it is.

    So because society says butts are sexy, women are now forbidden to wear leggings unless they want men to automatically think they are trying to seduce them.

    Instead of forcing them to stop wearing what they want, why can’t we as a society work towards the desexualization of women and body parts. Think about it, we no longer think ankles are sexy (most of us) so now women can wear shorter dresses that before nobody would be able to wear.

    Why can’t the same thing happen for leggings? How is looking at where a woman defecates meant to be sexual? How do you defend that?

  428. I support your decision. I’ve often seen women wearing leggings and thought to myself………..what in the world is she thinking. I’ve also thought what man in her life would allow her to dress in such a way and not bring it to her attention. I don’t allow my wife to wear leggings or any other revealing clothes for that matter. We live a conservative life and dress accordingly.

  429. I’m confused. What makes you think that a husband is in the position to “allow” or not “allow” his wife to wear something?

  430. I allow my wife to wear leggings because eventually I want to live in a world for her butt is not sexualized and where she doesn’t have to worry about whether or not what she is wearing will make other people think she wants to sleep with them.

    Think about it this way; let’s say you visit another country in which shoulders are considered sexual. When you and your wife go out, she decides to wear a tank top and now every man is looking at your wife’s shoulders and licking their lips. Would you as an American think that your wife should go home and put on a long sleeve shirt? Or would you think that it’s silly that something as unsexual as the shoulders is turning people on? I mean, shoulders? You don’t even poop from there, so how can it be sexy?

    Now apply that situation to America. Butts are the human body’s sewage system. Many cultures find them nasty and not sexual in the least bit. But here in America, we make women even hide the SHAPE of their butt or else they are asking for trouble.

    I think instead of changing women’s fashion, we should change society’s standards.

  431. Huh? I’ve been married for more than 20 years. If my wife is wearing something that is not appropriate I tell her. Not in a mean way…………..”listen, sweetheart we are going to dinner and then a movie………..you will probably want to change

  432. Why is your opinion of how life should be lived more valid than mine? Do we not have the same senses, the same opportunities, the same blood and flesh to make logical decisions in this world?

    Also, I’m not sure whether or not you have a daughter, but if you did; would you feel that she is a lesser person than her husband? And that she shouldn’t think for herself and allow her husband to micromanage her life? What about her thoughts or opinions?

  433. Many of the problems we have encountered in society is because we have lost a sense of class and civility.

  434. Examples are stronger than broad, blanketing statements. I am young so I haven’t been able to watch society evolve, so I am definitely willing to listen. If you are quicker to judge than to teach, how can we ever progress?

  435. I’m sure you see the problems in society. And we then wonder,………..how did we get here? Well, how we allow women to present themselves in public is one way.

  436. It’s good to have a dialogue among partners (like you have with your wife) about such things. One spouse should feel free to voice their opinion if they aren’t comfortable with what the other is wearing, but I think “allow” is not the right way to put it at all. When you say “what man in her life would allow her to dress that way” or “I don’t allow my wife to wear leggings” it sounds like you’re dictating what she wears and how she dresses. It sounds very controlling, like it’s man’s decision what a woman wears. I don’t think this is what you meant to say…at least I hope not.

  437. I can’t make such a broad connection because I’m not sure what life was like when “women” were more modest. But I can assume from some historical knowledge that women would say their lives are better now than before they had the rights they have now.

  438. Not at all. My wife doesn’t own leggings. If she purchased some, I’d say wow those look nice to wear around the house but don’t wear those in public. I’m an “old school” guy, but I’m more of a leader in my home. It may not work for everyone but it does for me.

  439. Though I disagree with some of your viewpoints, I like your sense of humor! It is only through friendly debate and discussion like we had that any problems can be discovered and hopefully solved. Thanks for the mental jog

  440. Oh brother!! I think you’re the one who needs to calm down and stop blowing up her post. She said:

    The only time I feel (for myself) it is acceptable to wear them, is if I am in the comfort of my own home or if I am wearing a shirt long enough to cover my rear end.

    Notice the words: For My Self. That means herself. Not you, not others, not other people. Not saying women need to be ;responsible’, not saying men aren’t responsible for their actions, nothing. You want to wear them, go for it. I don’t care. Again, this is for her, NOT YOU I know you want to blow this up and make it into an ‘ideology’, but, I know you don’t want to hear this, It’s not an ideology! It’s how she FEELS. She doesn’t care what you do, she doesn’t care what you wear, she doesn’t care what anyone else here wears. If you want to run around naked, then dear heart, you knock yourself out. You want to make this into something bigger than it is, go for it. But it’s not. It’s like her saying I like the color red as opposed to Black and you say she’s a racist. Oh gesh, you people need some busy work.

  441. Kudos to you, and way to stand up for modesty in a culture gone mad. You have a lot of women out there with you on this.

  442. I think it’s a great decision! I struggled for a year with bathing suits. Even though many people, regardless of religion, wears bikinis, I just didn’t feel comfortable in them. I really felt that it was God speaking to me. I went out and got a tankini and skirt. I felt SUPER cute, less on display and actually had WAY more fun in Florida with my family because I wasn’t worried about anyone looking at parts of my body that they didn’t need to see in the first place or parts falling out on a water slide. God will NEVER steer you in the wrong direction. It is so wise to protect the eyes of others and to listen to God. You are a wise woman! Don’t let anyone tell you different!

  443. Veronica, I don’t know you but I am so very proud of you for recognizing how important modesty is! I’ve noticed for years the slow (well, kinda sorta fast really!) decline in modesty. It has gone hand in hand with the loss of morality. I think ESPECIALLY for daughters of the King of Kings, we should be more careful. I am totally against covering from head to toe like the old time pentacostals did, but a small amount of modesty even goes a long way! Thank you for your courage to talk about it!

  444. It’s always great to see someone who has the conviction to make changes that they feel are important in his or her life, no matter how big or small.

  445. Yes, the logic behind her decision indicates that she thinks women should be taking responsibility for the actions of men. Think about it, she decides not to wear leggings because she doesn’t want men to be unfaithful to their wives. She doesn’t decide not wear leggings because she doesn’t feel comfortable in them. She decides to stop wearing them because she feels responsible for tempting a man. She didn’t make the decision for herself, she made the decision for a man. She had noble intentions, I’m sure, but there are some issues with the motivations behind her decision. If you read other comments you’ll find plenty of people feel the same way. And, for the last time, I don’t think she’s telling me what to do. I get it, it’s not about me…you don’t have to keep saying it over and over again.

    My opinion is what it is. Your opinion is what it is. I respect your opinion (I don’t think you respect mine, but that’s okay, you’re allowed to feel whatever you want) and everyone has the right to express their opinion. Let’s just leave it at that.

    P.S. There’s an ideology behind almost every decision. An ideology is a set of ideas (conscious or unconscious) that influence one’s decisions. It may be how she “FEELS,” but it’s still an ideology.

  446. yes I know… that’s why I’m saying that when people say a girl wearing whatever outfit is more likely to get raped is complete nonsense… and that by wearing a certain outfit a girl isn’t asking for it… I’m saying that no girl should have to feel like they have to dress a certain way in order to make sure a guy isn’t turned on by her… that’s what leads to extreme beliefs that women should have to cover up… like it’s their duty to make sure men behave when that’s the men’s job… and as also said that a very conservative outfit could turn a guy on… and so that as long as your comfortable in your outfit and feel good about yourself then you shouldn’t worry about what others are thinking… cause there is no controlling that…

  447. THANK YOU for speaking out against an obviously very popular trend. My husband and I feel the same way and agree with you wholeheartedly. It is about time someone speaks up for morality and modesty!! People, male and female, make every excuse to wear clothing that is very revealing which in turn causes temptation. You don’t give an alcoholic a beer nor should we women strut our butts in men’s faces. THANK YOU again. You have the support of many even though we are a minority. God bless you!
    Cindy Patterson
    New Hampshire

  448. Look, no offense but this is so sexist and wrong especially coming from a woman herself. If wearing a piece of clothing a woman finds comfortable in public entices a man, is that any of her fault? There’s a thing called self-control that most men seem to not acquire. A woman can wear nothing and she’d be fine. It’s not a woman’s fault if a man has no self control. You asked your husband? A white Christian male? That’s a really good source. Let me say this again: A WOMAN IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW A MAN FEELS ABOUT HER, CLOTHING ON OR NOT. Women, wear whatver the fuck you want.

  449. Thank you Veronica for not only your courage but your for the example you are setting for others and me!!! 🙂

  450. This what you just wrote has convicted me! I thank you for writing it and while you wrote this for yourself, I feel it’s something I must do as well! Thanks again!

  451. I respect her decision. However, I feel that she shouldn’t be putting the weight on herself and saying that what she wears needs to be monitored because it will be her fault that a guy or girl is looking. I think that women should be able to wear whatever they want. If a guy is looking and admits that it turns him on, then that’s his worry. It shouldn’t be hers. At my school, I have asked why girls wear leggings as pants, and they respond with “because they are warm” which I completly agree with. I’ve taught myself that whatever runs through a guy’s mind about me is completely his fault, not mine (unless I punched him in the face).

  452. This is really sad, classic case of the blind leading the blind, the lady with low self esteem and the man who controls her.
    I would not be suprised if this couple were victims of some sort of abuse, although i see brainwashing religion as a form of abuse anyway so it might just be that.
    Previous posts mention how her husbands negitive ranting (red flag) triggered her panic attacks that she had to seek counceling for and his expolsive temper (mega red flag) which they needed counceling also, and yet she praises how successful and smart he is, but this is just another form of his controlling ways.
    Being a “good chirstian” deprives people of exploring their full sexual selves and denying natural instinct leads to problems like this.
    Maybe if he wasn’t so deprived he would not view leggings as sexual, what do you wear to the beach? or do you deprive yourself of that pleasure as well?
    But it shouldn’t be her problem and if she had more self esteem she would know this, but she doesn’t, so she is blind to the real issue.
    They are young and hopefully they will look within rather than rely on an external source for their happiness.
    Letting a man – any man, dictate what you wear is allowing him to control you, and controlling someone is abuse.
    I’m sorry to say but you are in an abusive relationship, it’s just very subtle, but oh so obvious to someone who has been there.
    Religion denies women their power, and keeps men in control, it’s a sad detructive round-a-bout and if you don’t get off you will just keep going round and round, never finding true happiness, remaining weak in false happiness.
    Instead of trying to be holier than thou, try being honest with yourself, work on healing your inner self and you will see the world as God infact does.
    Either that or he has a Peg Bundy complex.

  453. How about some fig leaves? That’s what Eve wore. Might need a few extra leaves if you live in a cold clime. But hey, I think God would approve. They were good enough for Eve! 😉 Or how about a burka! They’re very stylish. If you are real lucky you can keep your driver’s license!

  454. And how the hell
    Is one supposed to know who is or isn’t a sex addict ????? And really… That’s not my problem.
    That’s like saying nobody should EVER have a glass of wine in a restaurant because a alcoholic might be at the next table.
    People are blowing my mind with all their insane statements.

  455. After reading the comments and opinions, one must remember that we live in a free society.
    What a person chooses to wear is their personal choice and unless there is a dress code it is no ones business.
    I dress for comfort. I do not care if you look or not.
    I mean really, people making a big deal over leggings yet everyone seemed to accept the droopy draws with the underwear hanging out.

  456. Rosemary, actually there is something in the Bible about how women should dress. I Timothy 2:9 says this “And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with expensive jewelry, clothes, make-up. I don’t look at it from a perspective of the part about women asking to be raped. That’s really a terrible thing to think and I know there are those that believe that. I just think we in our country have lost a sense of modesty, both male and female and it has most certainly gone hand in hand with a loss of morality. And the sin of immorality has even permeated the Church. The author of this article, from what I take from it, is speaking personally about just herself. And I applaud her for following her convictions.

  457. Sara, you and I must have read different blog posts. From what I read, she changed her wardrobe to follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit. She said she’d already been feeling like she needed to stop wearing them based on convictions she felt in her heart (paraphrasing). Are you a believer? If not, then I can understand why you don’t understand her motives. If so, you will probably at some point in your life face personal convictions for something that the Holy Spirit is nudging you about. Could be something different, could be the same thing.

  458. “Nowhere does God say that having multiple wives and concubines is appropriate.”

    If, God believes it inappropriate, why did He give multiple wives to David?

    2 Samuel 12:8

    And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more.

    “By removing God from the equation, and thus asserting that man is
    nothing special and can be defined solely by his utilitarian contribution.”

    Doesn’t removing God from the equation actually move man up to the top of the ontological ladder and make him more special? Doesn’t that consequently, make man the one who defines himself, since there is no one else to define him? Why must that be negative? Utility is the quality or state of being useful. One could say purposeful. So man defines himself “existentially”, in terms of the purpose he himself determines to be worthwhile.

    Your alternative is to view man, as he is, to be completely without merit. With a very few exceptions, Billions, maybe trillions of human beings came into the world destined to burn in Hell no matter how much good they did during their lives.

    “Darwin laid the groundwork for the scientific philosophy leading to treating people as merely another cog in the evolutionary chain.’

    Darwin did contribute to conceptual philosophy. I think his most meaningful contribution was population thinking. Prior to Darwin the dominant view of thinking about the natural world was typological thinking where species are fixed ‘types’. Darwin introduced a new way of thinking based on individuals, so called population thinking. He stressed the uniqueness of the individual, no two are the same.

    “See: Eugenics”

    See Bible — Specially favored, “chosen” race of people; i.e., Jews.

    “false paradigm that science is pure or neutral”

    You are incorrect in your usage of paradigm. There are paradigm’s within science, but science itself in not a paradigm.
    The term paradigm was coined by Thomas Kuhn in his book “. The Structure of Scientific Revolutions”.
    Kuhn suggests that certain scientific works provide an open-ended resource: a framework of concepts, results, and procedures within which subsequent work is structured. Normal science proceeds within such a framework or paradigm. A paradigm does not impose a rigid or mechanical approach, but can be taken more or less creatively and flexibly.

  459. Love when My GF of 3 years wears them! Iin fact I go shopping with her to
    pick them out. I think she looks great in them! She works out 4 days a
    week and she is very proud of her hard work.

    If Veronica’s husband has a problem with them, or she decided she’d rather keep the sight of her butt
    cupped by a nice form fitting yoga pant then more power to her. It keeps the imagination of others off her body which she feels is disrespectful to her husband. But I look at it like this:

    If your body is a temple….. what temple have you ever seen covered to conceal its beauty?

    I would also say sexy panties would be out of line… there are panty
    lines and well it may be established what type of panty your wearing as
    well. So Seamless or Grandma Panties for you!

  460. This Veronica Partridge is hawt. I bet a real jihadist would totally want to defile that infidel.

  461. You go, girl! Keep standing up for right, even if everyone else is against you. God bless you for your stand.

  462. You are giving a lot of significance to some fabric. Will you also cease to wear tights? Pantyhose? How are you distinguishing one tight-fitting item from another? “Leggings” as you have chosen to oversensitize the word, is more a function of what each individual chooses, rather than an item of clothing. No self-respecting Christian woman a generation or two ago would ever be caught dead in public without her stockings or pantyhose. I’m pretty sure nuns still wear pantyhose. How do you plan to handle this?
    Yoga pants? Those big, flared, floppy comfortable things? Men are turned on by those? Where the heck do YOU live? Yoga pants are NOT leggings.
    Think about this; strippers wear pantyhose and stockings, NOT leggings . . . . and if you’d dress for yourself, instead of being a slave to so-called fashion, you would never have a problem finding “an outfit . . . ”

    Its language use that you seem confused about.
    No individual can control the attraction felt by another. I hope God next touches your cerebrum with education.

  463. I wear leggings every winter under my pants as legwarmers. And man, I can’t keep the men away!

  464. um . . . different than pantyhose? or stockings? or thigh highs? What are you people *talking* about?????????? Why can’t anyone speak more clearly, when it sounds like all of you are whining about the ladies that choose to wear them as pants and accentuate that big ole’ ham hock. That is a completely different issue than blaming an item of clothes for all of men’s dilemmas. Proper ladies once were expected to wear tight leg coverings. Especially the Christians.

  465. Hey Mr. Not Sarcastic, what’s the explanation for previous generations when it was pantyhose . . . stockings . . . tights? Guys weren’t ogling ladies then?

  466. Why is it all the yoga pants I’ve ever seen were flared, floppy, comfortable looking things? Why wear pants during yoga anyway? Shorts not good enough?

  467. Men’s Fashion makes it EASY for men to present themselves as virtuous. There are few items of men’s clothing that can be considered provocative. A smooth sociopath can have you thinking he’s as virtuous as Billy Graham. If a huge percentage of clothing designers are men, then its even more egregious to blame women for what we end up buying. Start a protest with designers. Have you noticed the lack of sexiness in male basketball uniforms?

  468. FINALLY, someone is clear and says something specific.
    ” . . . considered revealing,” THANK YOU.
    STOP BLAMING AN ITEM OF CLOTHES for the way people choose to arrange them.

  469. No one here is making much sense. A pair of leggings is more provocative than a sports bra? Sports bras greatly enhance cleavage. Where is the outrage on those?
    By your opinion, LooknGlass, men should stick to all male gyms.

  470. That is incredibly rude AND mean. I wear leggings all winter long as leg warmers under my pants AND I’m overweight. How are leggings therefore a problem? I will continue layering to stay warm. How dare you.

  471. Awesome! Thank you from one woman to another. I appreciate your commitment to help my husband and sons not to look inappropriately. And I will do the same.

  472. Thank the Lord for people like you who have the courage to give voice to the major societal issues confronting our society today……This was so prophetic. I think the next item on your agenda should be why you have chosen to stop eating toast.

  473. You know, I’ve really been thinking about this since my previous comment was removed. Maybe I was out of line. I mean, it’s true that my form might be enticing to men. So I shouldn’t show it off, since some of the men that look might be married. And even if they aren’t, their virtue is really, really important to keep pure. They should only be looking at their wives, or potential wives in this way.

    But I was thinking, I’m also weak. I’m really, really enticed by beards. Just thinking about a nice, full beard, one that represents masculinity and virility and power… that makes me focus all of my energy on a place that it shouldn’t be–my own human sexuality. That is a dirty, wrong, and unnatural place. And all I have to do is see a beard, and I feel like I can’t even control my brain from thinking about grabbing hold of it and pulling it towards my face, or worse. And the next thing you know, I might be ACTUALLY pulling a man’s beard toward me, because I just can’t help myself from taking it to that level. I do this with my husband all the time, so who’s to say that I will be able to control myself around other men with beards?

    But men’s faces, with their beards, are EVERYWHERE. It seems like every time I go out of my house, I see at least five or ten men with beards. Am I supposed to just not look? Am I supposed to simply look away? It sounds so simple, yet… is it? Is it really? Am I supposed to just try to not think about it and control my desires? That is too hard for me. I know I could never do it on my own.

    I think men shaving their beards is a really good way to help me, and other women (I know I’m not the only one!) to stay virtuous. We need to fill our minds with pure thoughts, and every time I see a man with a beard, I just can’t help where my thoughts go. So I think your next blog post should be about how men need to shave their beards off. Every faithful mormon man who values the chastity of women should shave off their beards. Cleanly shaven men are the only way to keep women’s thoughts pure. Clean shaven = clean thoughts. It’s their responsibility to make sure that our thoughts are pure, after all, because it’s their facial hair.

  474. Live where it is in the – F* and then say you won’t wear leggings. Jeans are cold and keep no heat. Not even with long johns underneath. Leggings I find are the only bottoms I can wear for 5 months of winter and be warm.

  475. Many of you are also forgetting about the mentally unstable; sociopaths, psychopaths, fetishists . . . God also creates all these anomalies among humankind. How do you guard against these children of God?

  476. You guys are forgetting about the anomalies of God’s creation such as sociopaths, psychopaths, fetishists . . . How will you guard against these children of God? And jeanie, surgery would take care of that cleavage you were blessed with.

  477. Sooooo . . . . what should unmarried women seeking that all-star husband do? Not enhance their attractiveness? Doesn’t work too well in the male mind created by God . . .

  478. I’m all for modesty, but did you have to share this with the world? People will inevitably compare this to fundamentalist Muslims. It gives them fuel for ridicule. These kinds of decisions need to remain private.

  479. Hi, it would be great if you could clearly articulate your thoughts. I’m having trouble understanding what you mean by ” . . . wears leggings and its all on show . . . “.I wear leggings all winter long under my pants as legwarmers in a cold workspace. I generally always have on a sweatshirt, or some other extra top, and just don’t understand what you perceive as being “all on show”. What about tights, stockings, pantyhose, and thigh highs?

  480. I hope he asks me. He’s giving me a reason to whip them off and wrap them around his throat.

  481. Don’t die silently, honey, proudly tell them about the new life you’re bringing into the world and ask them what their problem is.

  482. Then every southern woman alive is walking embarrassment because they’re in flipflops almost 27-7 in the summer. I don’t know a single southern woman that *ever* would apologize for her flipflops. What is WRONG with all you people???? Stand up, be American, and do what you LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  483. That thought process is for the underwire brassiere Ms. Victoria thoughtfully has provided us!

  484. You just proved the author’s point…pantyhose, stockings and tights were never worn alone, as pants or outerwear. And leggings are simply tights without feet…and as such, they should not be worn alone, as pants or outerwear!

  485. hey now, don’t try to take my flipflops away either! 😉 Just trying to make a point. And they do make them with cute embellishments, though there’s nothing wrong with the $3 Old Navy ones.

  486. Don’t buy some manufactured garbage and put together your own swimwear. If you’re not swimming competitively, what’s wrong with some cute running shorts and a tank top. DON’T BE A SLAVE TO FASHION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Capitalism is the ultimate catalyst behind this problem, along with peer pressure. Stop looking like everybody else!

  487. Depends on how skinny *he* is. I don’t prefer the look anyway, therefore, not aroused, therefore don’t find it sinful. Next!

  488. Hey! That’s presumptuous! How do you know how God blessed him there? He may not bulge. Don’t make him feel bad . . .

  489. Yes…and women MUST take responsibility for their own actions as well…period. If you dress immodesty in public, people of both genders will judge you accordingly. So yes, it is your choice…if you don’t want to be seen as a slut, don’t dress like one!

  490. Stuff? What stuff? Wad of money? Bag of medicinal marijuana? Airport bottle of whiskey he’s trying to smuggle into a theatre? Licensed, concealed handgun? Too bad Americans are so afraid to speak openly about clearly anatomical issues.

  491. You completely contradict yourself. You acknowledge that if you knowingly provoke sin, you are at fault. And then you say that you have no control over others’ thoughts. How many times must you be told that the natural man is wired a certain way before you will stop placing the blame on them for a completely natural response? Maybe you truly were ignorant before…but now you know…immodest clothing can and will cause unwarranted reactions in most men. So from this day forward, anytime you dress immodestly, you can be assured that you are, in fact, provoking sin and you will be held accountable!

  492. WHY are you the first to be so clear in your expression!!! People are driving me crazy because they are taking such liberty with the language but have *such* specific ideas. Apparently, they’re disturbed by the *way* ladies are wearing the leggings, not the leggings. I don’t see one complaint here about the Sunday afternoon closeups on football players’ hindquarters, and boy is that some tightness! 🙂
    It would take two seconds for people to clarify themselves. I honestly don’t understand how leggings became a substitute for pants, especially by bodies not quite enhanced by that style. Heck, even the 300 lb linebacker isn’t all that attractive in his white NFL uniform pants, ifn’ ya know what I mean . . .

  493. I personally think this is a wonderful idea. I don’t wear leggings because I don’t feel right in public with so much showing. It’s not tecnically showing too much, but I see it only a little better than a fake skin.

  494. Actually, Adam and Eve made clothing from animal skins to cover their nakedness’ because they were embarrassed and ashamed to be seen that way. If they could understand the importance of modesty and self respect, why can’t we?

  495. And its bullshit like this that makes me grateful I no longer believe in god. Two things, there’s a lot of things going on in the world right now and whether or not your “rear-end” attracts “lustful thoughts” is about as low on anyone’s priority list as you can go. If this is all “god” can care about in the morning then he shouldn’t be anyone’s god. Why doesn’t he (god) or you spend your time worrying about the massive amount of income inequality in America? The lack of affordable education opportunities for college-aged youths? The epidemic of mass-shootings? Or rather yet, take it outside the US to the problems that reductive “modesty” rhetoric such as this does on female bodies (as in every country in the Middle East pretty much). How about worrying about the problems of religious extremism in the world and the ways in which we could help women/men/children facing poverty/lack of education/healthcare?

    Second, attempt to educate yourself about this “modesty” rhetoric your so blithely spreading around the US. What are you teaching women about their bodies? Only that it is a sexual object. What are you teaching men about women’s bodies? Only that it is a sexual object that they can’t resist. What do you teach men about basic hormones? Only that they cannot control them, that they are base animals. When you do this you provide nothing more than an EXCUSE for rape, domestic violence, and sexual assault.

    What you are espousing here is truly horrible, damaging and self-centered. Want to be a real christian? Try doing some service instead of obsessing over your ass in exercise clothing.

  496. You said you expect a girl to be modest and in return you will try and keep your thoughts modest. You also say that if she chooses not to be you’ll try but it will be harder. You’re still holding her responsible for your thoughts on the basis of how she dresses and saying that her clothing choices ought to be based on your thoughts of what is virtuous so that you don’t think of her that way. Your expectation creates an ultimatum of “dress this way and I’ll think of you this way, don’t and I’ll think of you a different way” and to an extent that’s fair(sweatpants at an office job doesn’t fly), words like “virtuous” and “modest” are words full of opinion and some don’t really care about them as is their right. Your eyes and brain belong to you, you are the only one responsible for them. Nobody has the right to try and control your eyes or your brain, and nobody has the right to tell women what they can and cannot wear.
    Women need to be able to wear anything they want without being shamed, without being ridiculed or harassed, and without being judged.
    The truth is, I personally look if a girl seems to want to be looked at. If she gives me any indication that she doesn’t want to be looked at, I don’t. It doesn’t have to be so hard and really I’m not all that attracted to someone who doesn’t want to attract me. It is my desire to contribute to an environment where women feel confident, safe, powerful, and happy. It takes time, energy, effort, and sometimes even money to look good and there are appropriate ways to appreciate that while being virtuous and not creepy.

  497. There’s a big difference between arrogance and confidence but to call both pride is equivocation. I don’t think there’s a problem with confidence, and some people at some points in their lives may need to feel more confident.
    However, not wearing certain clothes so that you aren’t a “stumbling block” is somewhat arrogant isn’t it? I mean, it’s assuming a level of attractivity. Yet you’d call “I’m not sure if everyone will think so, but I like the way this looks on me” prideful? Further, a person who has a weakness in that area perhaps should consider working on their weakness rather than requesting women to take responsibility for it.
    Also, dressing a certain way isn’t seducing someone at all, seduction requires positive action and clothing is generally a pretty passive thing once it’s on. You could be dressing to communicate to a particular person (dressing in a way someone finds attractive to attract that someone you’re attracted to is a pretty good start to attracting someone) but that’s not what you’re trying to communicate to the rest of the world and therefore isn’t seducing them.
    Rape isn’t about sex, it isn’t about power, it isn’t about clothing. It’s about rapists. To rid the world of rape, teach people not to rape. Simple as that.

  498. What about the real issues? And what tosh, skinny jeans, leggings, whats the difference? Go spend some time with your kids love and forget about who used to look at your arse. What others think is none of your business, why are you making mens thoughts your business?

  499. When I dressed up and looked nice for my wife, I got looked at by other women. This made her go “hey, other women find him attractive too!” and it made her much more proud to be with me. The same effect happened with her. I was proud to be with her when men looked. When men made comments, initially I got defensive. What I realized is that she chose me to spend her life with, and the only way that could change is if there were a reason and usually that would mean that somehow her needs weren’t being met. The more confident I grew in my ability to meet her needs, the more confident I was that I was still going to be her choice at the end of the day. When it all comes down to it, it was all about trust. We trusted each other, so anyone else looking at the other person had a positive effect on us.

    Now, when I looked at another woman she wouldn’t get jealous, nor would she be concerned about me wanting that woman. If I did want another woman, that would have been met with a long discussion that would wind up ending the relationship and I would have tried to see if I could make things work with another woman. It didn’t happen because freedom, trust, and intimacy trumped any physical attraction to any other person. Further, as our relationship developed and grew, my taste in women became more and more defined and I knew that as she aged so would my preferences. Lines, wrinkles, sagginess… All of that would become more attractive.
    Outside of the whole victim blaming in rape, the whole “modesty” thing seems to be an act of control by men lacking confidence in the monogaminity of their relationships and lacking the confidence to be alone if that’s what their life winds up being.

  500. Calm down people. This is not a new topic of discussion. I suspect this has been an issue since the dawn of man, certainly since I’ve been able to read a newspaper. I suspect this is more about setting straight the short and ambiguous comments of an naive individual looking to take a stance that would probably generate some publicity. If this is not the case, she is simply naive. Her looks, perfect hair and make-up will have the same ‘lustful’ affect as leggings would otherwise have.

    Let’s be realists – how you look, or what you wear, determines the response from others.

    I am a mid-thirties guy, in an office environment, who wears standard office attire, but I regularly bust women looking at my crotch. Is this a bad thing? Well it can make me slightly self conscious, but I don’t look past the the concept that people are curious, or horny…or they are simply driven by an inherent instinct to find the most appropriate mate to procreate – therefore they look. Disclaimer: making a statement like that makes me seem like a serial killer but it is simply a statement about life, evolution and all that we know about the natural world.

    Is this about rape or blame? No. The comments about rape on this blog have been predominantly focused on the idea that rape is about ‘power’. Yes, it can be, but it is also about many other issues like social isolation, substance abuse, mental illness, etc.

    Is this about women’s rights? No. It’s about people’s right. Gay or straight we have the right the dress and act as we like. It’s a nice concept, but buyer beware. Although most people will either not notice, notice but be respectful, notice and follow you for several blocks and think about you later that night, there are some people that are just bad (for whatever reason) and want to take advantage of you. That may be because what you were wearing peaked their sexual interest, or some other crazy motivating factor.

    Is the author correct? Yes, but on her line of thinking you should literally lock yourself away from society and hide, cause you never know when the next psycho is around and has been turned on by you and your ‘look’.

    My advice: be real, know yourself, know what message you are projecting to the world with your ‘look’, and know the dangers of the world.

    Be safe everyone, but not timid. The nutters are a minority. x

  501. “As I read these comments, for the most part, I am completely and utterly flabbergasted. How can you get all up in arms over a woman making a decision that she believes is God honoring and good for her? She isn’t forcing her opinion on anyone, and yet the majority of you are acting like she is trying to do just that.”

    I don’t think anyone in their right mind would be opposed to Veronica doing what she believed was right. She has a right to her beliefs.

    However, she chose to tell the world about it on an internet blog and says that God guided her to that choice. Unless her butt is especially and uniquely lust provoking, she is, in fact, telling anyone who believes in God that they should conform to her God inspired choice, lest their butts elicit sinful lust as hers does.
    If you don’t want to be criticized, the best way to avoid it is to keep your thoughts to yourself. Going on Good Morning America was not a really wise move either, if you don’t want negative attention.

  502. Amen Veronica! I agree with you 100%! Modesty has been lost in our society and God would have His people looking, living and dressing differently than the world does! It is about not being a stumbling block to others! {of either sex these days}. If people are rattled and upset by this post, then the issue is theirs not yours! Well done for being a beacon of Truth! God bless! xx

  503. These are genuine questions and I think valid points, not for anyone else to put there two cents in but for Veronica Partridge. I just want to find out how you think there is a massive difference or even a slight difference between wearing leggings or the leg hugging jeans/pants that you have on in your post on Jan 20th and while being interviewed by Good Morning America? Do you wear shorts or skirts and how short? I don’t wear them at all unless the skirts go to my ankles.
    Also I might add that I wear leggings due to comfort to hide eczema (all over my legs) while lose fitting pants flowing freely agitate it too much. I do not wear boots like the ones you have on in in the interview and never have as the boys had a name for girls that wore boots like that growing up (nice boys or not) and I still hear it from time to time, maybe ask your husband? Also while looking at your page we came across your link to widget, and although I had the thought it was actually my husband who brought up the fact that there are other baby carries out there that would not accentuate your bust as much, maybe the men out there that (apparently) look at women wearing leggings in a sexually manor may look at you in the same way while carrying your baby around! Just a thought… please don’t take this personal (as I have not in regards to your thoughts on leggings) I just don’t understand your thought process! Attractiveness also draw men to a women in a sexual way, you are also a very beautiful women so would you cover your face because your face would attract a man, by the looks you also accentuate your face with make up (and your right) but I just think your ideals on leggings are just a bit crazy while your still accentuate yourself in other ways . http://snapwidget.com/v/893843499074939081 I dress modestly and God does not judge me on what I wear…..

  504. If a woman should not dress in a way that might make a man look at her and cause him to feel lust, shouldn’t it work the other way around? Shouldn’t men not dress in a way that would cause a woman to look at him with lust?

  505. Dear Veronica
    I think you are totally correct. I don’t know why it has become so ridiculous when people are angry with you because you choose to dress modestly!! You make a very good point by saying that there will always be some men who will look at you so as women we don’t need to make it easier for then or to invite it, so to speak.
    Whether we like it or not we are judged & perceived to be a certain type of person by what we wear.
    If women on here are angry at you they are angry with the wrong person. They need to direct there attention to the Media outlets that portray women constantly as sex objects…music industry, film, tv. It’s endless!

    It’s an indictment on society that when you say publicly that you are choosing to not wear a certain piece of clothing because you feel immodest in it & their is a backlash, it really is sad.

    So I congratulate you on your stance & your family should be proud of you too. Forget all the negative comments & remember that you have been a positive contribution to a lot of conversations on modesty & dressing so as to be respected for who you are.
    Thank you from a mum of a daughter here in Australia